Singles
by Happymood
Summary: My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. I have two best friends. What is special about us? Me and my friends had made a pact: to never, ever, fall in love. That was until I met this Italian boy who seemed to be immune to my flirting... mainly Spamano.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. For every native German speaker out there, you can now read this in German! Go to my profile page to search for the link, as it they don't allow me to put it here!  
**

My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo.

My appearance? It's nothing special. Twenty-five years old, male, with messy, chestnut hair, green eyes and a smile that can sweep anyone off their feet. I can be dense sometimes, but it seems that ladies (and gentlemen too, if I have to be honest) find that adorable.

Why do they love me? I don't really know. But I noticed that my Spanish accent helps a lot when I'm flirting. Ladies love it; even though I've been speaking English since forever I sometimes pretend not to know a word of it just to impress them. It's one of my favorite techniques, actually.

Anything strange about me? I'm very fond of children—but not in that way! The ladies seem to love that, too—when I tell them how much I like to have little kids around, they think they've found the perfect man to marry. I've managed to dodge that particular bullet several times, though.

I have two best friends. We've known each other since kindergarten and we've been friends that whole time. We've always been quite the troublemakers; teachers didn't like us all that much, particularly Gilbert—he's always known how to take real revenge. I won't say exactly how—use your imagination. It won't be far from the truth, anyway.

Thanks to our reputation, everyone started calling us the 'Bad Touch Trio', and they still do. Of course, now it has an entirely different meaning…

My friends? Well, one of them is named Francis Bonnefoy, and he is older one of our group. He's French, tall, with shoulder-length blond hair, blue eyes, and has a faint shadow of stubble which he thinks makes him look like a "big brother". He goes both ways and has a strange fascination with roses. He says that whenever he sleeps with someone, he leaves a red rose on the pillow the morning after to remind the other just what had occurred the previous night. Francis has always been the romantic one of us, which Gilbert likes to tease him for. He is also the one who pays attention to his appearance and style more, and people like his classy manners.

Those manners? They last a night. Francis actually loves to touch (read: grope) everyone in any way he can, wherever he can. Gilbert says that Francis does that with me, too, but I don't really notice.

My other friend is Gilbert Beilschmidt. He arrived here from Germany with his little brother the year after I met Francis. I could say he is the "straightest" one of us, but Francis has told me that Gilbert's had his own crushes and loves among our own gender. Gilbert is very cocky, deeply in love with himself (to the point that he would marry himself if he could, those are his words) and in his opinion people are either 'awesome' and 'unawesome'. There are only three people on the "awesome" list, including Gilbert himself, and the other two come and go from that list. I think you know who they are. Nevertheless, Gilbert has his own way of flirting. Strangely enough, it works.

That's us. Three friends who want nothing more than to have fun. We are very different, with very different interests, and we probably would have each gone our separate ways if it wasn't for that incident long ago.

That incident? When we were around fifteen or sixteen, each of us had our first heartbreak. We made a pact then, in order to avoid that fate again, to never, ever fall in love. To be singles, till death tears us apart.

We did great. None of us had ever been in a stable relationship. We had our own little adventures with no strings attached. It worked perfectly, up until till now.

Key phrase: Up until now.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. In this story, South Italy will be called Romano and not Lovino. The reason I will do so, is because the name 'Romano' is a real Italian name, while 'Lovino' doesn't exist, and it makes the story just a little more realistic.**

The first time you saw us together, you may have thought we were just a bunch of friends that lived our lives in the most extravagant and extreme manner, and even if you may have been right about some of us (see Gilbert), on the whole our lives were perfectly normal.

Gilbert works with his little brother in a little bookstore they own, Francis writes columns in a famous magazine under the nickname of 'Joan Red' and I am a child care worker. Nothing special, right?

We woke up every morning, sometimes alone, sometimes beside an unfamiliar figure, whose name we may or may not remember, in our home or in some hotel or in some unfamiliar house… well, I wanted to tell you how we start our day normally but in some way I managed to ruin it. I talk too much, sometimes…

Okay, I'll start again. We woke up every morning, how we did that is completely irrelevant, we got ready and went straight to work every day. We didn't see each other until late in the evening, when we may have had dinner together, or gone to the cinema, or gone to some kind of club…

Perfectly normal things that normal friends do, right? On the weekends we may have been together all day, or just an amount of time, or sometimes we may have wanted to spend it alone.

I know what all of you are thinking now. When did we find the time to flirt? It's easy. Flirting doesn't need a time. Every hour and every place is convenient. When waiting for the bus, when working, when speaking with a client, when waiting for your friends, or in the club.

The club. A classic. The easiest place to flirt. You talk a little, have a few drinks, dance and if everything goes according to plan, you won't be alone for the night. Moreover, in the club you have the opportunity to choose the type of people you would like to woo that day. There are the ones who are all alone, drinking their guts out, who feel all lonely and want nothing more than to be noticed. They are easy and don't offer a challenge. There are those who may be alone, but it is because they don't want company that night. They are difficult to impress, but if you do things perfectly, they are the best in bed afterwards. The group of female friends, always giggling, drinking cocktails and showing their legs in all their glory. Girls prefer to go out in packs of two or three, so we sometimes hit on them, the three of us together. Men, on the other hand, want to be in largest groups possible and are difficult to find alone. The shy and the extroverts. The beautiful and the ugly. The nerds and the divas. Everyone. Francis always says that going to the club is like going to the supermarket: you never know what to choose, but in the end you will find what you were looking for.

Contrary to popular belief, we do not always make the first move. Sometimes they come to us.

What they see?

In Francis:

- his smile (the 'Flirt smile', we call it)

- his looks

- his French accent (it comes naturally)

- his classy manners and good eye for fashion

- the dream that he may fall in love with them and have the most romantic love story of their life

In Gilbert:

- his looks. Difficult not to notice. Silver hair and red eyes. Wouldn't you look?

- his arrogance and confidence (I asked around and yeah, many like it. It turns them on.)

- his voice (yeah, he knows how to use it. I know.)

- he knows how to dance (not that we don't but he sure is the best one of us)

- the dream that he may fall in love with them and have the most romantic love story of their life

In me:

- my Spanish accent

- the adorable face I make when I don't get something (or, at least, that's what Francis says)

- my smile

- the possibility I may have a dark side, somewhere

- the dream that I may fall in love with them and have the most romantic love story of their life

One way or another, 97% of the time we return home with company. We may have talked with them, learned a little about them, but in the end, we never saw them again. To be honest, we did sometimes date a girl or a boy more than two times, but it never lasted long. They soon realized that we didn't love them and they said goodbye without remorse.

That was our life. That had been our life for the past ten years or so and we didn't complain in the least. We loved it.

So it was not so strange to see us go to club after club, living la vida loca, as the song says. That day wasn't different in any way and when Gilbert said:

"I know a club we have never been to. It just opened. 'Nightwave', it's called. What do you say? Should we pay a visit?"

And we did. I didn't complain then, but if I knew what was going to happen I would have surely tried to make them change plans. Run away. Let's go somewhere else. Not there. Never there. But at the time, I didn't know the big mistake that we were making.

The mistake that I was making.


	3. Chapter 3

The 'Nightwave'.

If one had to judge only by the name, one would think that it would be a really special place. Maybe something really peculiar: a club with mermaid-maids walking around, serving you drinks and smiling to you sensually. Something like that or maybe even better…

The fact was that the only thing that this club had of exotic was the name. The rest was pretty normal and that was, to repeat Gilbert's exclaim, really a letdown because, well, we really liked the mermaid-maids' idea.

"One day you'll open a club your taste…" Francis said with a chuckle and entered the joint first. I looked back at Gilbert, who had a dreamy look on his face, clearly thinking about what Francis had said. I laughed, put an arm around his shoulders and together we followed Francis in.

It took me a while for my eyes to adjust to the strange blue light and for my ears to the deafening music but when I finally did I could see that the place wasn't that bad. It was nice, if clubs could be described as nice, and immediately I spotted Francis dancing with a red-headed man somewhere in the middle of the dance-floor. His favorite spot, he says, because he can observe (grope) everyone better. I still wonder how Francis manages to find in the mass and confusion the one that would surely say 'yes, let's go find a room' to him in a matter of seconds. It's a talent. I envy him sometimes…

It was then that I noticed Gilbert wasn't beside me anymore but I couldn't see him anywhere in the throng so I assumed he had already found someone interesting too. It was my turn, then, and I started to look around for possible night-partners. There were a group of really beautiful ladies sitting on a table somewhere on the furthest right of the club but I noticed they were leaning too much towards each other and I immediately knew that they were in a serious conversation and they probably didn't was to be bothered. There was no way I could make my way through that barrier, so I continued to look around.

There was a handsome, dark-haired man drinking alone, intently watching the people dancing. The man, twenty-two years of age the most, was moving his hips imperceptibly and that was a clear sign he wanted to dance really badly. Unless he was a homophobic, this man would surely accept my offer to dance, I could see it, and he wasn't so bad-looking either. I had nothing to lose and so I started to make my way to him.

Suddenly I felt a pair of hands on my waist and I immediately turned around thinking it was Francis who wanted to tell me something important. It wasn't him and my eyes fell on a beautiful girl's delicate face. She was Asian and had really long, wavy, chestnut hair. She was drunk, that much I was sure, and she smiled brightly at me.

"Wanna dance?" she asked in a strange accent and I smiled at her, making her giggle, and took her hand. When we were in the middle of the dance-floor she immediately threw her arms around me and started to dance. Her body slid against mine perfectly, she knew what she was doing and I noticed that many around stopped to look at us.

"What's your name?" she suddenly asked, her face inches away from mine. She really was beautiful but I kind of felt guilty to take advantage of her in her state.

"Antonio…" I whispered in her ear, she smiled and made to open her mouth to state her name too when suddenly someone grabbed her from the hand and I suddenly felt cold from loss of contact. Dark eyes looked at me disapprovingly and I just stared as a choppy, dark brown haired boy around the girl's age, with strange eyebrows, slowly pulled her away from the dance-floor.

"Let's go, Mei…" he said and I sighed. It was going so well, it was a pity we were interrupted like that but it wasn't the first time it happened, so I quickly regained composure. I seriously needed a drink, then, as all the dancing made me thirsty and I realized that probably that night I wasn't going to be lucky. I pushed through the pulsating throng and I found an empty barstroll to sit. I sighed again as I mouthed my order to the bartender, a tall, blond man with blue eyes and an overwhelming smile. He flashed the thumbs-up at me and made to prepare my drink.

It was then that something, no, someone caught my eyes. A man was sitting a little further on my left, playing with his mobile phone. He had nothing special on him: brown hair with a strange curl sticking out and hazel eyes. The man must have been a little younger than me and he was drinking something that looked like orange-juice with a straw. That was really odd. I never saw anyone drink orange-juice in a club, with a straw, but I knew that that wasn't what had caught my attention.

I don't know what had caught my attention, really. All I knew was that I wanted to talk to the guy. The man was intently pouting (yes, pouting! And it was adorable!) at his mobile while slurping down his drink.

He didn't seem to notice me and when the bartender slid my drink in front of me, I didn't even care. I wasn't thirsty anymore. As I watched the man beside me, I quickly thought up all the possible excuses I could use to break the ice. In the end I decided to use my Spanish. It had worked on a lot of people before and I seriously thought that it could work on this guy too, so I moved closer to him, slightly invading his privacy.

He looked up at me, annoyed, moved a little to his left and resumed his texting. I decided that that was my clue to speak:

"Hi…" I said in Spanish, "I'm new here in the city and I don't know English at all…"

He glanced at me. Was it a good sign? I couldn't tell but my heart started beating fast when I noticed I caught his attention, so I decided to continue my act.

"You seem such a nice guy and it's strange to ask you in these conditions…" I added in Spanish. The guy looked at me. Confused as hell of course because he didn't understand a word I was saying, but interested. Confused but interested is good.

"Would you like to meet me tomorrow?" I smiled charmingly, "Take me around the city…".

It was then that the man opened his mouth and let go of the straw. I watched fascinated as he put his finished orange-juice away and raised an eyebrow at me.

"You don't understand a word I'm saying…" I continued in Spanish. Seriously, I didn't know what else to say and then something happened. The guy spoke.

"Does _this_ really work to get into other people's pants or is it the first time you use it?" he asked.

He asked. In perfect Spanish. I was shocked, to say the least and I just stared at him open-mouthed. It had never happened before._ Never_. But I was kind of elated that he could speak my language, so I made to talk to him and, guess what? I made a really big mistake.

I said: "Are you Spanish? My name is Antonio and…". In English. I wanted to slap at myself really hard. The guy didn't laugh or comment but I could see he was amused.

"So you speak English…" he just said and turned around, back at his mobile phone. I didn't want him to stop speaking to me. I thought I should laugh, say I was sorry and run away from the club as fast as I could but I stayed there. I didn't want to let that guy go.

"Ok, I'm sorry…" I laughed a little, "That was a really bad pick-up line…"

The guy just humph-ed and resumed his texting. No good. No good!

"But I do think you are a nice guy and I…" I continued but in that moment a girl approached us, sighing loudly and running a hand through her blond hair. She checked out her skirt for a moment before putting a hand on the guy's shoulder.

"I'm ready to go!" she said.

Scratch the she. He said. She was a man. The guy nodded, put the mobile phone away in his pocket and stood up. The blond guy caught me staring at them and he turned to his friend.

"Do you know him?" he asked. The dark-brown haired man glanced at me, then back at his blond friend.

"Just someone who tried to hit on me…" he said and at that the blond laughed so loudly that the bartender too turned around to look at us.

"That is, like, totally hilarious!" the blond said.

"Let's just go, Feliks…" he said and glanced reproachfully at me. Feliks nodded and then turned to look at the bartender.

"See you tomorrow, Alfred!" he shouted. The bartender smiled brightly at them and shouted back, just as loudly.

"See you, Feliks! Romano!" and with that the two men disappeared in the crowd. I remained staring at the spot the hazel-eyed boy had been sitting before and then I registered what the bartender, Alfred, said. I immediately turned to look at him and slammed my hands to the barstroll to get his attention.

"Does he work here?" I asked. Alfred titled his head in confusion.

"Who? Romano or Feliks?"

Feliks was the blond one. So it was Romano. Romano… what a beautiful name… it sounded Italian… so the boy was Italian? Why he spoke Spanish so well then? I shook my head, now it wasn't time to think about this trivial things.

"Romano…" I said, loving the way it rolled on my tongue. Alfred looked at me sympathetically and smiled regretfully at me.

"They both work here…" Alfred said, "You'll never impress him, boy…" he added then. "You should stop thinking about him immediately. You might end up really hurt…"

I knew he was right. There were many fishes out there in the sea, why should I waste my time trying to impress this Romano? If it didn't work once, it wasn't going to work at all. Yeah, tomorrow is another day, I won't even remember this boy's name tomorrow morning. I sighed, paid for my drink and I decided to go home.

Francis and Gilbert were nowhere in sight. At least someone scored tonight and I felt happy for them.


	4. Chapter 4

Everyone knows that Saturday's mornings are made to sleep.

I hate to wake up earlier than noon in the weekends and Gilbert and Francis know just how bad I get when I don't sleep _enough. _So that was why I was surprised (and annoyed) to hear my mobile buzzing, signaling me that Francis was calling.

I didn't want to open my eyes just yet and I searched it distractedly on the bedside table near my bed. It took me a lot to find that stupid phone and when I did I answered with a yawn.

Francis didn't even let me start insulting him.

"I know you want to sleep really badly!" Francis voice said from the other line, "But you _have _to see this!"

See what? I didn't even have the strength to speak. I just remained with the phone pressed against my ear and my eyes still hermetically closed. Francis voice was amused and I really could picture the grin on his face.

"Come on, sleepy-head!" he shouted then, "Come to Ludwig and Gilbert's bookstore! We're waiting for you here~"

"Shut that phone, Francis! I don't nee—"

Was that Gilbert shouting?

Francis broke the conversation and I was left there wondering what exactly had I heard. What had happened that I so needed to see? For a moment I seriously planned to turn to the other side and continue to sleep. Whatever Francis found amusing could wait, I mused, I just wanted to keep dreaming, but then curiosity kicked me in the butt and I decided to open my eyes.

I sighed and I decided to start preparing myself.

Fortunately, Ludwig's and Gilbert's bookstore is not far from where I live and, albeit still sleepy, I arrived there in a matter of minutes. Being Saturday, it was closed, but if Francis said they were waiting for me, I was sure the door was going to be open and I was right. The bell over the door chimed and when I made a step in four eyes turned to stare at me.

Make those three eyes, actually.

"Oh, my god, Gilbert! What happened?" I exclaimed. There were five little couches there, two of them taken by my friends, and I decided to sit down next to Gilbert. He looked at me with one eye, because the other one was swollen and black. Now that I looked at him better, he had a bad-looking cut on his lips too. I couldn't understand why he was in such state and I looked up at Francis in query. The blond was practically grinning from ear to ear.

"Stop making fun of me!" Gilbert shouted and tried to punch Francis but the older man just slapped the offending hand away. I stared at them both.

"Will someone tell me what happened?" I asked and just then Gilbert's brother entered.

Meet Ludwig. Blond hair always gelled back, cold azure eyes and intimidating pose. He is Gilbert's younger brother, but he is more like the older one, both physically and mentally. Sometimes I do wonder if they are related. They are so different, like night and day.

I know them both since kindergarten, if I remember correctly, but not once I thought Gilbert was the older brother. No one does, really.

"He got into a fight…" Ludwig said, finally answering my question. He was holding some gauzes and some strange looking cream. Under Francis and mine eyes, he kneeled down and started medicating Gilbert's eye, who seemed pretty annoyed by the gesture.

"Leave me alone, Ludwig! I'm not a baby!" Gilbert shouted but a look from Ludwig's made him shut up.

"You act like one!" Ludwig said and Gilbert just hmph-ed. Ludwig must be the only one who can make Gilbert shut up. See? That's what I tried to say before with the older-younger brother thing.

"Stop grinning, Francis!" Gilbert shouted then. Francis though didn't stop and just turned to look at me.

"It seems that yesterday our dear Gilbert here had decided to return home with the wrong lady…" Francis started and Gilbert groaned.

"At least let the awesome me tell the story!" he said, "You suck!", he then looked at me, who, I was sure, looked even more puzzled than before, "In that club, the 'Nightwave', wasn't it?" he started, "I met this really beautiful girl!" he grinned, "She had blond, long hair and I'm sure that look of hers could melt ice. I decided to hit on her…"

Nothing strange till now, I thought.

"She must have been Russian, I don't know… anyway! Damn, Ludwig, that hurt! What was I saying? Oh, yeah. It took me a lot to make her feel at ease with me, we danced a little, talked, offered her a drink or two, then she was ready to come home with me…"

"And then?" I asked.

"Then Gilbert met her brother!" Francis cut in. "It seemed in the end that the girl in question only wanted to get her brother's attention. Her brother had been waiting for her to get out of that club and when he saw Gilbert…" Francis gestured Gilbert's black eye.

"Tch!" Gilbert grinned, "You have to see the state _he_ is in…"

"Of _course_..." Francis snickered and then shook his head at me when Gilbert was too busy cursing Ludwig to see. "What about you, Antonio dear? Met anybody interesting?" Francis asked then, changing suddenly topic.

I stared at him and all I could think about was the name 'Romano'. Romano. Romano. Romano. Romano. Romano. Romano. Romano. Romano. Couldn't stop thinking about that guy all night. I thought I would forget him in the morning but it was as if my mind didn't know any other word. God. I wanted to see him again. I don't care how he treated me yesterday, and probably he will treat me even worse if he sees me again. That bartender- Alfred, wasn't it- said he worked there. I could picture him walking around with a cute white apron…

"Antonio? Are you with us?"

I blinked at Francis. What?

"Oh, let him be , Francis…" Gilbert snickered, "Don't you see he's still dreaming about the sex he had?"

"Nothing happened…" I finally managed to say. I wish it did. Both Gilbert and Francis stared at me. I gulped and licked my lips nervously.

"So what with the dreamy look?" Gilbert asked then.

"It's…", well, why I couldn't brag about it like Gilbert does, sometimes? "Oh, nothing…" I managed to say in the end, "It's just a boy I met. He humiliated me in front of the bartender yesterday…"

Gilbert and Francis shared a look, then they started to laugh. I didn't get the joke.

"He is…" I started. The more I thought about him, the more I wanted to see him. I could try to hit on him once more, what was there to lose?

"Oh, come on, Antonio!" Gilbert said. Ludwig seemed to finish his medications and stood up to throw away the dirty gauze. "You've been rejected before! There is no need to look that afflicted…"

"He's right for once, dear…" Francis said. "You'll find someone else today and tomorrow you won't even remember that boy!" he added, ignoring the stares Gilbert was giving him for the 'for once' part.

"But I want this one!" I suddenly exclaimed (okay, I whined) and Francis and Gilbert stared at me. I was surprised by myself too, actually. "I mean…", I felt my mouth go dry, "He really offered me a challenge back then… I really want to… err…", I didn't know what to say. Romano had nothing special. Francis was right. Today I'll find someone else and tomorrow Romano won't be but a memory. But the fact remained, though, I didn't want to find someone else.

"You are fed up with the easy ones, eh? Antonio?" Francis asked then with a smile and I looked at him. Yeah, maybe that was it. It was always the same story. Flirt. Dance. Drink. Talk. He/she accepting to come with you. He/she rejecting you. And then back again to flirt. Dance. Drink. I was fed up with it. Really was. And then this guy, who didn't even blinked when I tried to hit on him, ridiculed me even, had finally managed to spice things up a little.

Yeah. There was nothing else. I just wanted to take that guy to bed. Once I did that, everything will be normal again.

I told myself that lie so many times, that in the end I believed it. I told the same lie to Gilbert and Francis. They believed me. Why shouldn't they? I was sure it was the truth too.

"So you are trying to tell me…" Gilbert said, "You want to go back to that club again?"

"Are you scared that Big Russian Brother is there waiting for you?" Francis asked, grinning.

"No, of course not!" Gilbert exclaimed. "Let's go tonight!"

"You are not going anywhere!" Ludwig said, making once again his intimidating appearance. Gilbert turned to look at him and opened his mouth in shock. "Not until that eye is healed!"

"Why, Ludwig!" Gilbert said and stood abruptly up, chasing his brother up to the apartment they shared up the stairs. "I want to…!"

"I said no!"

Francis and I listened to them talking for a little more, then Francis looked at me.

"I guess it's going to be just you and me then…"

I nodded.

That night I couldn't wait for Francis to pick me up. We were going with his car and he promised me that that day, if things didn't go well, we were going to return back together. That meant Francis wouldn't drink. I doubted that.

If I was nervous then, while waiting for Francis, imagine how nervous I was when we finally arrived at the 'Nightwave'. Francis didn't notice a thing, or if he did, _I_ didn't notice he did. Throughout the ride and even when we parked not far from the nightclub he couldn't stop saying how much he wanted to meet this boy of mine.

"He must be really handsome!" he was saying, "Is he blond? A brunet?"

I didn't answer and then we went inside the club. The music was as deafening as the night before, only, this time, I wasn't aware of it. People were dancing maniacally around and the lights illuminated rhythmically their faces. I looked at Francis and pointed to the bar. He grinned at me and so I made my way to where I knew Romano would be.

I didn't know what to say this time, what trick to use, what smile to show. What could make a guy like him like me back, I couldn't imagine.

Francis and I walked around the dance floor, avoiding the most of the swarm, and just when we were two feet away from the bar (I could see Alfred's blond head), Francis grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"What?" I mouthed. Francis wasn't looking at me and I noticed then we had almost collided with a blond man with really thick eyebrows. For a moment I completely forgot about Romano. The man looked kind of familiar…

"Francis?" the other man exclaimed. I could hear him perfectly over the music.

"Arthur?" Francis blinked then started to grin, "Arthur!"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Arthur exclaimed and his eyebrows knitted up in confusion. Francis let go of my arm and he seemed to forget my existence entirely.

"I'm here to dance, of course!" Francis said, moving his hips a little and then laughed. "Is the first time we see each other in years and you ask me something as vulgar as this? I should ask what _you_ are doing here. I thought Englishmen were boring!"

Arthur lips quivered in a pout but even I could see that he wanted to smile.

"You haven't changed at all, Frog..." he said then. I wasn't sure if I heard right. Had he said Frog or Francis?

"You haven't either…" Francis said and smiled a little. My eyes darted to Francis to Arthur and back to Francis and suddenly I remembered.

This was Arthur Kirkland.

How could I forget him? We attended middle school and high school together. Arthur and I didn't like each other that much then, even if at first we were quite good friends, but I don't remember why we became practically rivals afterwards. I remember that there was a period we raced to who had the most expansive things. If I had a silver pen, he would buy a gold one, if I bought the most in fashion jeans, he would buy the most in fashion t-shirt and so I would buy then the most in fashion shoes as a counter-attack. Yeah, we were stupid like that. We raced for a lot of things and in the end we got into fights. Gilbert found it amusing and didn't really care but Francis on the other really didn't know what to do.

For one, I was his best friend.

Arthur and Francis on the other had quite complicated relationship. They would insult each other first and then be big (drinking) buddies the next. They disagreed in everything and then suddenly they would agree on something totally idiotic. They weren't really friends but you couldn't say they were rivals either.

It was Arthurs's fault that Francis agreed to _that pact_. That's what he told me when I asked him one day. Francis had fall in love with Arthur in the end and when one day he found the courage to tell him, he was dead-on rejected. I'm sure they never talked afterwards…

I looked at them now talking as if nothing had happened and I decided to leave them alone. I turned away and spotted the bar stroll I had sat the night before and made my way there.

Alfred spotted me immediately and he half looked at me with pity, half grinned at me. I didn't know it was possible to make such a face.

"Oh, it's you again!" Alfred said and laughed. "I thought you'll never return here!"

"Why not?" I said, smiling a little, "It's a nice place after all…"

"Thanks! I own it!" Alfred laughed again. I blinked at him. Alfred, the bartender, owned it? "A hero like me…" he added then, "…should always help even if he is the boss!"

I nodded but I really didn't understand a word he said.

"So…" Alfred grinned at me, "What drink do you not want to drink today? Or maybe…" he stopped and looked at his side.

"I don't…" I started. Really, I shouldn't drink in case Francis did and if he had met Arthur, they were probably gulping down alcohol like there was no tomorrow now.

Alfred looked at me then and leaned closer to my face. "I know why you're here…" he said, "As a hero I don't want anyone to get hurt, so don't say I didn't warn you yesterday but!" he smiled widely, "Maybe Romano needs someone to get him out of his shell too, so…" he leaned back and shouted, "ROMANO! Come here~!"

Alfred was so loud I thought everyone had turned to look at us. No one did, though. Fortunately. My heart started pounding when a mass of dark brow hair showed. Romano glared at Alfred, a bottle of liquor in his hand.

"What the hell are you shouting for, bastard? Don't you see I'm bu—" he stopped in mid-track and spotted me, standing there, looking like an idiot, I'm sure. "Oh!" he said, "It's the Spanish bastard!" he exclaimed, pushed Alfred away and glared at me. "Are you here to teach me some more Spanish?"

Now that Romano was before my eyes, I was at loss with words. Should I say hi? Sorry for yesterday? Go out with me?

"Romano, be nice to the customers!" Alfred shouted and Romano's glare darkened. He sighed loudly and I stood gazing into angry, chestnut eyes.

"What do you want?" Romano asked harshly.

"Your number…". Damn the habit! I cursed myself.

"You never learn, Spanish bastard?" Romano asked, clearly annoyed.

"The name is Antonio…"

"And I should care, because…"

I didn't have an answer for that, then I smiled: "It's only fair since I know your name, Romano…"

Romano tch-ed and shot a murderous look at Alfred, who was taking orders somewhere on Romano's right and wasn't paying attention to us anymore.

"Whatever, Spanish bastard!" Romano exclaimed, "Tell me what you want so I can't stop looking at your ugly face…"

"I want to start anew with you…" I simply said.

"I meant to drink. Man, aren't you stupid!" Romano exclaimed and he filled a glass with the liquor inside the bottle he had been holding. "Here, so Alfred won't think I hadn't been nice _enough _to you!" and slammed the glass on the table, almost hitting my hand.

"Thanks…" I said and just glanced at the not-so-nice looking liquor in front of me, "But I'm not going to drink tonight, because Francis, he is my best friend you see, is going to drink and so I need to stay sober so we can return home safe with his car…" I could see he was blinking at me, "I suppose you don't care…" I stated then.

"You suppose well…" he said and made to go away. No good! Say something, Antonio! Everything to make him stay!

"Do you like to work here?" I suddenly exclaimed just as he was leaning to hear another patron's order. He turned to look at me, much to the other's client distaste, and made back his way to me. I wanted to grin. One point for me!

"What's with all this questions, bastard? I thought I made perfectly clear I don't want to have anything to do with you!" he exclaimed. I smiled at him and shrugged:

"As you said, I'm stupid, I get no hints and I'm desperate to know you better…"

Romano seemed taken aback but the surprise in his eyes disappeared in a matter of seconds. I gazed at his face and I realized how beautiful he was. Yeah, I said to myself, I want him.

Just then Romano opened his mouth to retort something really mean, I guess, but someone bumped into me and put an arm around my shoulders. It was Francis and he smelled too much of alcohol.

"Oh! Is that the boy?" Francis slurred the words and I wondered where Arthur was, but he was alone. Francis eyes Romano up and down, then started to giggle stupidly. "He is really handsome, Antonio dear!"

I stood up and dragged Francis a little away from the bar stroll. Romano was pouting: Francis in bumping into me had managed to bump into the glass of liquor too. Romano didn't seem to like the idea of cleaning out that mess much.

"I think I must go…" I said to him, while Francis nuzzled his head into my neck. Romano didn't even look up. "See you…" and tried to drag Francis to the exit.

"See you never, Antonio bastard!" I heard Romano shout or maybe it was all my imagination. After much yanking I finally managed to pull Francis into the car and I opened the door to the driver seat. Suddenly Francis started to laugh and said:

"You know what's funny? Arthur always hated…", hiccup, "…nightclubs! Always said pubs are better and then…", hiccup, "…then he makes _friends_ with a manager of a nightclub! Isn't life strange?", another hiccup.

I wasn't listening to him. I was just glad that I had taken my driving license with me. That and I couldn't stop thinking that Romano had said my name.


	5. Chapter 5

Today is Lilly's birthday.

Lilly is my partner in the kindergarten I work for. She is really a nice and cute girl and probably the only one I never tried to hit on. The reason is simple: I can't see her as anything more than a partner in crime, a little sister of sorts. She is everyone's little sister, if I have to tell the truth, and of course her looks aren't the only reason everyone thinks so. But I'll explain myself better later…

I asked her out for a coffee, though, just to know each other better, for once not thinking about sex. I _almost_ found myself in a hospital bed because her brother _almost_ cut my head off (even if that wasn't the part of my body he declared he wanted to cut off) when he found out. He was sure I wanted to deflower his little sister and it took Lilly three whole hours (maybe more, I was unconscious the first few hours) to make him understand, or at least convince, that I wasn't that type of guy.

Of course, Vash Zwingli, that's his name, still doesn't trust me. He tags along every time Lilly and I decide to go out to the coffee place to relax after a tiring day of work. It was frightening at first (what with his unique way of holding the knife whether I stared unintentionally at Lilly for more than two seconds) but I don't mind much now. Vash doesn't talk, really, and as soon as Lilly starts chatting, I forget he's even there.

Of course he doesn't fail to remind me from time to time.

Overprotective, violent guy, that Vash.

So Vash is the main reason why I totally freaked out when I realized that today was Lilly's birthday and I hadn't bought a present.

Fortunately today was my day off work too so I had all the time to buy one, visit her in the evening and pretend everything is good. Thank you providence!

One of my problems was solved. Whereas for the other one… well, I'll have to care of it of my own.

My other problem is shopping itself. Is a huge handicap on my part. Let's say I know exactly what to buy. I make my way to the shop in question but, on my way there, I tend to be distracted _really_ easily by everything I see. I soon enough forget what I was doing there in the first place and then go buy one hundred cute, but idiotic things in Francis' and Gilbert's opinion, for me. When I realize I still have to buy (insert thing here), all the shops are closed. Does this happen to you too? Anyway, that is why Francis and Gilbert never let me shop alone.

Today though I couldn't bother them with something so trivial. Well, okay, I could but Gilbert works with Ludwig and even if he would kill to get out of that bookstore, Ludwig would surely kill _him_ because he sneaked out and made Ludwig do all the work alone. On the other Francis can't leave his work like that.

I was alone.

Minus one point.

I didn't have the freakiest idea of what Lilly would like and need.

Minus two points.

And even if Lilly wouldn't mind if I visited her empty handed, Vash surely will.

I was dead.

So as I was saying, I was alone and I had to use all my concentration not to turn around and look at anything that wasn't for Lilly. My attention, I decided, was going to be for everything that girls liked (or thought they did). Dresses, ribbons, perfumes, jewelry, Hello Kitties were some things in the list.

That is why I was looking perplexed and blinded at a pair of gleaming red shoes with a big white ribbon on top on each of them when the incident happened.

"What do you mean they don't come in red?", a voice exclaimed somewhere behind my back. In any other circumstances I wouldn't have even noticed but this time it was different. Even if I had heard it just once, I recognized that voice. "This is like, totally outrageous!"

I turned around and saw him, Romano's blond friend, brandishing a blue shoe a palm away from a shop-girl's nose. I swear if it wasn't for the voice I wouldn't have recognized him with those pants on.

"I'm sorry, sir!" the girl said and tried to smile at her upset blond costumer. What was his name? Oh, yeah, Feliks. "But I'm sure your girlfriend will absolutely love this color! It's the latest fashion, you see!"

"It's for me…" Feliks said, twisting his lips in annoyance, "And I totally don't want them in blue!"

The shop-girl seemed taken aback at Feliks outburst and blinked at the blond man shocked. She was embarrassed and opened and closed her mouth like a fish for a while, clearly not knowing what to say. I made my way there, forgetting that sparkling shoe that I was sure had made me blind, and put a hand on Feliks' shoulder.

"F-Feliks?" I asked unsure. At the sound of his name he turned to look at me and stared at my face for what seemed like an eternity before ooh-ing in recognition.

"You…" he said, warily, "You are that Spanish guy?"

"Yeah, Antonio…" I said and smiled.

"Of course, I remember you!" Feliks laughed, "Romano told me all about you!"

I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I opted for the last.

"Yeah… we haven't really started the right way…" I mumbled.

"Are you serious?" Feliks said, "That was totally the stupidest way to approach Romano, but, anyway, I'm quite shocked you returned the other night. Romano told me…"

"You were there?" I said confused.

"No, I don't work on Saturdays…" Feliks said and stared at the blue shoe in his hands, then he looked up back at me, "So, what are you doing here? Are you all, like, 'oh, I'll buy Romano's love with shoes?'", he smirked. I knew he was mocking me but I pretended not to notice.

"Actually…" I said, "I'm here to buy something for a friend of mine. It's her birthday today…"

"And you don't know what to buy?" Feliks seemed shocked, "Look around you! The mall is like, full of things a girl would kill to have! I totally would!"

"I'm not good at presents…" I justified myself. "Well, anyway…", I was ready to turn around and leave but then again the thought that this guy knew Romano more than I did, made me want to stay with him just a little more. So I asked: "Would you like to go for a coffee or something?"

Feliks stared at me and I flashed my bright smile at him. A moment later his shoulders seemed to relax and he smirked:

"You are paying, right? Antonio?" then he turned to the shop-girl, who had been staring at us, listening in to our conversation. Feliks glanced at the shoes and then looked at the shop-girl with suspicion. "Are you totally, absolutely sure, without any trace of doubt, that they are the latest fashion?"

The shop-girl immediately nodded.

"Okay, I'm buying them!".

Two shops down from where we were there was a coffee place Feliks claimed to adore.

"I like the cheesecakes there. They are like, little pieces of heaven!"

We sat down and even if Feliks seemed a little wary at first to talk with me, as I started talking about myself, Lilly's birthday and insignificant things like that, he soon opened up to me. It didn't take long for the name 'Romano' to be brought up in the conversation.

"We are not best friends, per se…" Feliks said when I asked him, "We do work together but I'm sure he would have, like, totally killed me if we were together 24/7…" he laughed.

"I really thought you were best friends!" I said, "Wasn't he waiting for you that day?"

"Oh, of course he was!" Feliks said, taking another bite of his cheesecake, "You see, Toris, he is my boyfriend by the way, is, like, totally a wreck every time is time for me to return home! He worries so much and he is so afraid somebody is going to, like, kidnap me or something, that one day Feliciano suggested that Romano will surely be happy to bring me back home with his car and of course, Romano can't say no to Feli so…"

"Wait, wait!" too many information, I didn't understand a thing. "Who's Feliciano?". I immediately didn't like the way Feliks said Romano couldn't say no to Feliciano. Who was this new man who Romano seemed so eager to please?

Feliks look at me surprised then he smirked.

"What? Are we jealous~?"

No! Of course not. What an absurd idea! Before I could say anything, though, Feliks continued: "Anyway, Feliciano is Romano's younger brother…"

I sighed in relief.

"He has a brother?" I asked then.

"Why you seem so surprised? You know Romano for, like, a day! Of course you don't know anything about him!" Feliks waved his hand like I was stupid, "Seriously Antonio, you seem like a nice guy and you are handsome enough to get whoever you want. But, trust me on this, I know Romano and he really isn't your type. You should totally give up on him…"

Why everyone keeps telling me this? I was starting to feel annoyed.

Just then someone's phone went off and "Jenny from the block" started to sing. Feliks searched inside one of the many bags he was carrying and took out his mobile phone.

"Hello, darling! What's up?" he exclaimed and glanced at me. I sighed and made to stand up but Feliks raised a finger as if to tell me to wait just a moment more. "I'm at the mall! Where are you?", another pause, "I'm waiting at our café!" and he closed the phone shut.

"I suppose I should go…" I said and made to take my money from my back pocket but Feliks stopped me again.

"As if!" Feliks said, "Remember Feliciano? He is going to come in just a moment!"

I wasn't so sure I wanted to meet this Feliciano. Knowing his brother, I believed he was someone serious, maybe even as mean as Romano, maybe more, if he was able to do with Romano whatever he wanted…

"That is… quite a coincidence…" I slammed back into my chair and Feliks laughed.

"I know, right?"

It didn't take long for this Feliciano to show up. The first thing I noticed was the curl, the same as Romano, only on the wrong side of the head. The man waved enthusiastically at us and made his way to where we were sitting. He wasn't tanned as Romano was and his hair was more auburn than dark brown, but physically they were quite the same, like twins.

"Hello, Feliks! Who is your friend, ve~!" he exclaimed and smiled brightly at me. I was affected by that smile immediately. In a moment I felt myself smiling too and reached out to take his hand. My, wasn't this boy cute?

"I'm Antonio!"

He shook my hand and sat down next to me.

"Feliciano!" he said, "Nice to meet you!"

He didn't make any comment about Romano humiliating me like Feliks had done and I assumed that maybe Romano didn't tell his brother anything about me. Feliks too didn't say anything and I was glad about it.

"So how did you and Feliks met?" Feliciano asked in his cheerful tone of voice and turned to look at Feliks.

"He came to our nightclub once…" Feliks said and I saw he wanted to say something more but Feliciano cut him.

"Oh, my brother works there too, did you know, Antonio?" Feliciano exclaimed, "Have you met him? I must say he is not easy to hang out with but he is a good guy underneath all that toughness! You should meet him!"

"I already had…" I admitted and Feliciano tilted his head in a confused manner at my sour expression. I felt warm inside at the gesture. He looked so much like Romano but at the same time he was so different and so puppy-like that I just wanted to stand up, hold him close and tell him how cute he was. Why wasn't Romano like that? It would have made things easier…

"So… you're Italian?" I decided to change topic, go somewhere safer and Feliciano smiled brightly again.

"Yeah! How did you guess, ve~?" he asked, "Did Feliks told you?"

"Your name…" I answered, "It really has a beautiful sound…" I added, then smiled, "Everything that is Italian is beautiful! I went to Italy once and I fell in love with the country immediately!" I continued. "I would love to visit it again!"

"Oh, you should! Have you eaten Italian food?" Feliciano asked, "You should come to my house one day and I'll make you pasta. Do you like pasta?"

"Yeah, Italian Cuisine is delicious…" I said and smiled when Feliciano seemed happy about it, "I would love to…"

"By the way Feli!" Feliks suddenly interrupted, an amused smirk on his lips at our conversation. It was only then, when I remembered where exactly I was, that I realized I had been practically flirting with Feliciano from the beginning. I suddenly felt guilty without a reason.

"…with us, Antonio?"

I blinked as I noticed Feliciano's hand on my shoulder.

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"I said, we are going to eat something together, do want to come with us, Antonio?" Feliciano repeated, "I would like to know you better!"

I was ready to accept but then I remembered Lilly and if things continued like that I was sure I wasn't going to return home till next day, so I declined. Feliciano seemed actually disappointed but probably it was just my imagination.

"No, I really need to buy a present for my friend…" then I stood up and paid for the two coffees and cheesecake. Feliks and Feliciano stood up too. "See you another time?"

"Definitely!" Feliciano smiled and exited the coffee place. Feliks looked at me and then his eyes sparkled with something.

"Do you know what is, like, the perfect gift?" Feliks exclaimed. A moment of suspense then he added: "A pony!"

Have I heard right? Did he say a pony?

Feliks then waved me goodbye and shouted for Feliciano to wait for him. I watched them go.

A pony…

That evening I went to Lilly's house. I wished her a Happy Birthday and gave her my gift.

She really loved the stuffed pony I brought her.

Vash was glad I, the bastard who worked with her, managed to make her happy.

I was just glad to be alive.


	6. Francis 1

_Bonjour_! How are you my lovelies? Are you asking who am I? Oh, _mon dieu_, don't you recognize me? Maybe I should start from the beginning then. I'll use English as most of you don't understand the language of love. Okay, here I go…

Hello. My name is Francis Bonnefoy. My father always told me that our name means 'good faith' but, somehow, no one believes me when I tell them so. A friend of mine many years ago told me that no one did and should have faith in me. I still don't understand what he meant. I'm pretty trustworthy, aren't I?

Anyway, I write columns in a famous magazine. About what, you may ask. Well, about many things. About love, about life, about the different misadventures of my friends that could help a probable reader with his or her own situation (of course, don't tell my friends I write about them, especially Gilbert, he is going to have my head on a silver platter) and I give advice on different matters. I'm pretty popular, actually. They love what I write.

And I love my readers. Actually, I love everyone. My best friend Antonio says that loving everyone is like loving no one and that, according to Gilbert, is in the terms of our pact, so they are okay with it.

I am the oldest of our little group and yes, I have always been the most responsible one. What? Don't you believe me? I'm shocked. Nevertheless I am not here to try to convince you on that aspect, and if I had time I would flirt with you a little more and maybe we could go have a glass of champagne or two afterwards in my apartment… sorry, sorry, old habits die hard.

I'm here to tell you my part in this whole story. Of course, my part in the whole story wasn't valued until later and probably is still under evaluation. I myself don't understand why I should be claimed guilty about everything that is happening around here.

It had all started that day. Actually it had started some nights before when after years of not having heard of him I met my old rival in that nightclub, the 'Nightwave', my friend Antonio wanted so much to go visit again because of that Italian boy. I must say the guy was really cute even if he seemed a little pissed off and if Antonio gets fed up with him, I won't mind to take a chance. I think I surpassed what I wanted to say…

Oh, yes. Arthur Kirkland. What were the odds to find him there? He hadn't changed at all since we parted ways when high school ended and I gladly accepted the (more than two) drinks he offered me. The next day of course he didn't remember he told me his new address, while I did (no, actually I didn't, I just found a little white paper with his address on it in my back pocket). Nevertheless, wasn't that the perfect opportunity to go and surprise him? So, when I finally found the time to visit him, I happily took a bus, grabbed some asses on the way and stepped off just before his apartment.

It didn't take long for me to find where he lived. I found the front door of his building and I searched for his name before pressing the button. I waited for some moments and then I heard his voice from the entry phone.

"Who is it?"

I grinned, even if I knew he couldn't see me, and exclaimed: "Bonjour, my love!"

I knew he understood it was me because next thing he said (or rather, shouted) was: "What the hell are _you _doing here? How did you know…"

"You practically begged me to come visit you last night, don't you remember?"

"I did not do such a thing…" he said, then a pause. "Go away! I'm not in the mood to see frogs right now…"

"Okay…" I said, "I'll stay here…" I shouted loud enough for everyone to hear me, "…and start describing to everyone how you squirmed under me last night, how you begged me for more, the way…"

"Shut the hell up, you pervert! They know me here and those are big fat lies…"

"…you screamed my name…" I continued.

"People will start talking!"

"…your body…"

"Okay!" Arthur shouted and I heard the door buzzing, signaling me I could push it open. I grinned and made my way to the stairs, climbing them two at a time. No, I wasn't keen to see Arthur, I just couldn't wait to humiliate him a little more.

He was waiting for me, arms crossed, displeasure on his lips and his hair messed up as always. I smiled at him, he glowered even more and then made his way into his apartment. I followed him in and closed the door behind us.

"So…" I started as innocently as ever. "How are you?"

"You are the same pervert as always, aren't you?" Arthur sighed. "I didn't miss you at all!"

"Me neither…" I stated, "But the other night you made me remember how awfully good it made me feel teasing you. Is what made high school worth it…"

"Did it now…" Arthur wondered, "Just now I remembered why I wanted to cut you into tiny little pieces back then. It made detention look much more fun…"

"Ow, Arthur, that hurt!" I said, "I came all the way here to catch things up with you and you already want to murder me?"

"What?" Arthur asked, "Should I have waited a little more?"

"No, I know you never had any patience on you…" I smiled, he snorted and then motioned me to follow him to the kitchen.

"Do you want some tea?" he asked but didn't wait for an answer as he started filling the kettle with water. I watched every movement of his as he went to bring the cups in silence. How many years had passed? Many and yet everything felt so familiar. The way he put two spoons full of sugar in my cup because he knew that was the way I liked it and half in his. The way he run a hand through his blond hair. His face was more mature, that was a fact, but everything else…

Suddenly he looked at me and caught me staring. He didn't say anything though and a moment later held out my cup full of hot tea before sitting in front of me. He started stirring his cup and looked at me, leaning against his free hand. The only sound was the clock ticking away the minutes.

"I've never saw you with a beard…" he suddenly said and the silence was broken. I smiled.

"Doesn't it make look more mature and cool?" I grinned. Arthur just snorted.

"You look the same ass to me…"

"From your dirty mouth is a compliment…" I smiled, he silently laughed.

"Some friends from high school…" Arthur started, "Told me you write in a magazine, but I never saw your name…"

"That's because I use a fake one…" I said, "I write under the name of Joan Red…"

"Oh…" Arthur said, "I understand why you use Joan…"

"Because Joan of Arc is my favorite historical figure…" I said. He nodded because he already knew.

"And the Red?" he asked then, taking a sip of his tea. My eyes immediately dropped on my own cup then gulped and looked up at Arthur again with a smile on my face.

"The Red?" I repeated, "Well, I could give you many reasons about that! I love red roses, red is the color of passion, Gilbert's eyes are red or…"

"I want the real reason…" Arthur said, smiling a little. The bastard. He knew the real reason but pushed me to say it. We stared at each other for a long time before I broke:

"Red is Antonio's favorite color…", it was only when the words left my mouth that I realized how stupid I sounded. I was ready to hear all the teasing from Arthur but he didn't say anything. After another moment of silence, he sighed:

"You never told him, did you?"

I shook my head.

"There is no need to!" I laughed, "After all…" I continued my voice dropping a little, "…I got over him… why spoil such a great friendship over my stupidity of a teenager…"

"Stupidity?" Arthur repeated, "Wasn't he the reason you agreed on that stupid if I have to tell the truth pact and told them _I _rejected you? Couldn't you think of something else? Why would I reject you?"

"Are you telling me you wouldn't have?" I grinned.

"Don't twist my words around!" he exclaimed. "You know what I mean! You said that big fat lie to protect your friendship. I don't find it stupid…"

I still think it was.

I had a big crush on Antonio. That was stupid in itself. Antonio was and is my best friend since kindergarten. No, it wasn't just a crush. I loved him and it pained me so much to see him in love with someone else. Every day I wished I was the one he would look me with such a passion in his eyes. Then, one day, he reunited all of us at Gilbert's and started telling us how much life was unfair. Gilbert started to say his own pain too and suddenly Antonio had the idea.

That stupid pact.

The idea he would never love anyone intrigued me. I was selfish. I didn't want to see him with anyone who wasn't me. I could agree, I could keep the promise, as I knew I couldn't love any one else that wasn't Antonio. Antonio was the only person I could never have, we were too good friends, I couldn't do that to us, to the Bad Touch Trio. But if I couldn't have him, with that pact, no one would.

How stupid I was.

I dragged us all down. When Gilbert saw me agreeing, he agreed too. Gilbert and Antonio never learned the real reason and they are never going to.

Eventually, day by day, year after year, came the moment I didn't love Antonio as I did before. I still care for him though. He is dear to me.

"How's the bastard anyway?"

Arthur's soft voice pushed me out of my nostalgic thoughts. I looked up and saw him staring at me. I knew he was thinking about the past too.

"Antonio?" I asked stupidly. I took a sip of my tea. It was cold. "Oh, he has an infatuation with one of the bartenders in that nightclub…"

"The Nightwave?" he asked suddenly in panic. I couldn't understand why Arthur would be so alarmed about it.

"Yeah…" I said with a smile, "He doesn't know yet, obviously, but he fell for that guy hard."

"Who is it?"

"He has an Italian name…" I started, "Ro-… mm… Romeo? I don't remember…"

"Romano?", he seemed to sigh in relief, then I saw the smile starting to grow on his face.

"Yes!" I exclaimed. "That one!"

"Of all the people… Romano?" Arthur started to laugh, "That guy always cracked me up! Romano is the worst guy I ever met. Not even sure he is gay, he is such a flirt with the ladies… oh, come on!" he exclaimed, "Antonio had always done such shitty choices! Look at the friends he got!"

"I resent that…" I said calmly. "Maybe that's true for Gilbert, but I'm the best friend he could ever have!"

"Right…" Arthur said, "And I'm the King of England. I always thought Antonio was stupid and a bastard but I quite pity him now…"

"You are talking as if he is never going to get him…"

"Of course he is never…" Arthur said. "At least not without help…"

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I could give a hand…" he raised his ridiculously thick eyebrows in suggestion. My suspicions grew:

"Why such an interest?"

"It would amuse me greatly to see Antonio humiliated…"

"I see…" and smiled at the silent challenge. He smiled back at me the same way he had done so many years before. "And I thought you were a gentleman. Are gentlemen supposed to laugh at others expenses?"

"Are Frogs supposed to talk?"

"Well…" I stood up, "I believe we have challenge here… if he manages to get Romano to bed, I win…"

"There is no way I'm losing this one…" he stood up too and stared at each other from other sides of the table.

"We'll see. You know how much I love to disagree with you."

"And I hate to agree with you…"

He grinned at me and I smirked back. I felt suddenly at home again. A strange feeling, as long as Arthur was concerned. There was a glint in his eyes that made me shiver. However I knew that the same glint was in my eyes too.

"Did you…" he suddenly said when I made some steps to the door then stopped. He didn't continue but I understood what he wanted to tell me anyway. Did you miss this? Did you miss me?

"Fuck yes…" I whispered and I saw him smile a little. I then took out my mobile phone and said: "I suppose you want to stay in touch?"

He nodded and made his way to get his own phone. I watched him make some steps away from the table and then stop before the open window, for a moment trying to remember when he put his phone the last time.

My, wasn't he beautiful under the morning light... I shook my head away from those silly thoughts and proceed to hear what Arthur had in mind for Antonio.


	7. Chapter 6

"Why are they so late?"

"Relax… maybe there's traffic…"

"I don't like waiting…"

"See, Gilbert? We should have brought something too as Antonio did…"

"Seriously, Antonio, what did you bring?"

"I thought it would have been a good idea to bring some tomatoes…"

"Go figure…"

"Don't you like them?"

Gilbert shrugged and I shared a look with his brother, who just sighed. The reason we were the three of us together, in the middle of a park, was Francis.

That morning he called us to tell us he and Arthur had an amazing idea. They organized a picnic, to remember old times and to meet new people. Arthur was going to bring his friends too and that is was going to be a big surprise for all of us. We didn't understand what he was talking about and out of curiosity we decided to agree to their crazy idea. Ludwig tagged along too, because, after that eye-incident, he really didn't trust Gilbert to be alone and, even if he didn't say it out loud, he didn't trust_ us_ to keep him out of trouble.

We had been waiting for half an hour and Gilbert hadn't stop complaining about how late Arthur and Francis were from the beginning. It was starting to get on my nerves but I really tried not to fell to the temptation of turning around and return home. I pitied Ludwig a lot, though, and, moreover, I was really curious to see what the big surprise was about, so I stayed.

"That guy is pissing me off…" Gilbert suddenly said, breaking once more the comfortable silence. Ludwig shared a look with me and I turned around to spot the guy in question. I didn't see anyone.

"We are alone, Gilbert…" I said matter of fact. Gilbert sighed in irritation and pointed somewhere behind me.

"That one!" Gilbert exclaimed: "He's been staring at us since we've got here!"

"Gilbert! Is rude to point!" Ludwig scolded but Gilbert didn't listen to him. I seriously couldn't see anyone and only when Gilbert grabbed me by the head and turned me to look at a bench on the far end of the park, did I notice a guy wearing a red shirt looking at us. Just then the guy stood up from his seat and slowly made his way to were we were standing.

"He's coming!" Gilbert whispered.

"That's because you pointed at him!" Ludwig said. I continued staring at the guy and slowly his features became clearer. I blinked as the guy looked a lot like Alfred the bartender, only… not. A moment later he was two steps away from us and he smiled at, clearly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry…" he said, laughing nervously. "Are you by chance Arthur Kirkland's friends?"

How did he know Arthur? I turned to look at Gilbert, who had an air of understanding on his face.

"Ah!" Gilbert exclaimed, "You are waiting for that bastard too?"

"Actually…" the guy blushed a little and Gilbert suddenly became from totally irritating to his usually grinning self. He made a huge step forward and stretched out his hand, which the other guy nervously shook back.

"I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt!" he grinned, "This is my brother Ludwig and this is my friend Antonio! We are… yeah… Arthur's friends. And you are?"

"My name is Matthew… " the guy said, "I'm Alfred's brother…"

Now I understood why he looked as Alfred so much and I couldn't contain myself and exclaimed:

"You are the bartender's brother?", which, considering the way Gilbert looked at me, was surely a stupid question to ask.

"Y-yes…" he said nonetheless and smiled, "He told me to come too…"

"That's nice", Ludwig commented. In that precise moment we heard loud bickering behind us and we turned to see what was happening. It took me less than a second to recognize Francis and Arthur's voices and I suddenly had a sense of déjà vu.

"What took you so long?" Gilbert suddenly shouted and the bickering stopped.

"Good morning, lovelies!" Francis exclaimed, letting go of Arthur's shirt and turned to greet us. He immediately noticed Alfred's brother and showed the other man his brightest smile: "You must be Alfred…"

"Is Alfred's brother, idiot!" Arthur suddenly exclaimed, "God! You are so stupid! What do you have in that head of yours… roses?"

"Excuse _me_…" Francis said, turning back to Arthur, Gilbert raised his eyes to the sky, "But wasn't _your _stupidity that made us lose ourselves in the first place?"

"We wouldn't have if you had let _me_ ask for directions!"

"I did ask for directions!"

"You call creeping ladies out asking for directions?"

"I was merely…"

"Just shut up and admit you don't know a fucking shit about…"

"Are they always like that?" Matthew whispered as Francis and Arthur continued their previous bickering. Gilbert heaved a loud sigh.

"Don't worry, in a week you won't even notice anymore…" he said and I nodded. Before Ludwig could interfere and separate the two, a voice shouted:

"Matthew!", making all the bickering stop once more. We turned around to see Alfred running towards us. "Sorry we are late!" Alfred exclaimed. He started to list all the reasons why they were late but I stopped listening to him as soon as I realized with who Alfred had come.

I felt the smile slowly form on my lips. Because there was Romano! And Feliciano! This must be heaven! That was the surprise Francis had been talking about? I wanted to kiss him! Maybe later…

Romano raised his head and when he spotted me, his eyes widened in recognition. Suddenly he turned around and made to return from where he had come. Feliciano noticed Romano's change of course and raised his head to look at me. I waved at him, happy that Feliciano had recognized me and Feliciano ran to hug me.

"Antonio!" he exclaimed. "I never expected you here! How are you?"

I hugged back because he was so damn cute and… cuddle-able… I smiled down at him: "I'm good! I never expected you here either! I am so happy!"

Feliciano opened his mouth to say something and let out a whine when suddenly Romano grabbed him from the back of his shirt and pulled him away from my arms. I felt so cold in that moment but I didn't had the time to whine at the loss of contact that Romano pushed me violently away and pointed his index finger at me.

"How the hell do you know my brother, Spanish bastard!" he shouted loud enough for the world to hear. I blinked in confusion. Romano suddenly widened his eyes in alarm: "What did you do to him? Have you used your… your _Spanish_ with him too?"

I seriously didn't know what he was talking about.

"Romano! Let him go!" Feliciano exclaimed. Romano suddenly turned to look at his brother and angrily asked:

"Did this idiot harm you in any way?"

"No, Romano!" Feliciano said, "Feliks introduced us once… we are friends…"

Ah! Feliciano considered me a friend! Romano wasn't happy as I was though:

"Friends my ass!"

"Oh, Antonio…" Gilbert suddenly exclaimed, "Is that the guy you were talking about?" he smirked down at Romano and Romano scooted closer to me. I was confused as hell.

"He is a real jerk…", Gilbert continued and raised an eyebrow amused at Romano, who glared at him.

"Err…" I said.

"Okay!" Alfred suddenly exclaimed and everyone turned to look at him. "It's time for proper presentation, don't you think? For those who doesn't know me, I'm Alfred Jones!", he grabbed Arthur and smiled: "Arthur's friend!"

"I'm Francis Bonnefoy!" Francis elegantly said and put an arm around my shoulders. "This is Antonio, Gilbert and Ludwig!" he continued pointing at each of us.

"I'm Feliciano!" Romano's brother exclaimed. He shook his hand with everyone who didn't know him and when he took Ludwig's hand he said: "Nice to meet you!"

We all stared as Ludwig felt suddenly taken aback by Feliciano's invading his personal space so suddenly. Ludwig shook Feliciano's hand back and muttered an: "L-Ludwig…"

"Okay, am I seeing things…" Gilbert suddenly whispered into mine and Francis' ear, "Or is Ludwig actually blushing?"

Francis blinked and then grinned: "Oh, my, yeah…"

I just stared as Ludwig coughed nervously, clearly trying to get some composure. I could somehow feel Romano's hate turn from me to Ludwig and I looked beside me to see him deeply scowling at Gilbert's brother.

"By the way…" Gilbert continued whispering, "The blond one is really cute…"

"Who, Alfred?" I asked.

"No! That Matthew…" Gilbert said then turned to Francis. "Don't you dare!"

"Okay, okay!" Francis raised his hands in the air in a fake gesture of surrender and grinned.

"Okay!" Alfred shouted once more, "Let's get this party started! This is going to be the best picnic ever! Arthur!" he suddenly exclaimed and pointed at the still sullen Englishman. "I'm starving! What did you bring to eat?"

That seemed to take Arthur attention from Francis and stared at Alfred as if he was crazy.

"I thought you, the hero…" he mocked, "Would have thought about it!"

"No, you said you had everything under control…" Alfred retorted.

"Oh, dear…" Arthur sighed and massages his temples. "What kind of picnic do you want to have if there is no food?"

"I brought some tomatoes if you like…" I dared to say.

"We can satiate everyone with just those…" Arthur said matter-of-fact.

"My love…" Francis suddenly said, "We must be thankful you actually didn't bring anything to eat. It would have been our last meal if you had…"

"Are you insinuating something?" Arthur glared.

"Do you want me to spell how much your cooking sucks to you?" Francis grinned.

"I want to…" Arthur suddenly made to strangle Francis.

"Guys!" Matthew suddenly exclaimed, "It doesn't…" but no one was listening to him and suddenly Alfred raised his voice once more, silencing both of them.

"I have the answer to all of our problems!" Alfred exclaimed, "There is a McDonalds just around the corner!" he took Arthurs's hand, pulling him in a swift gesture away from Francis' neck. Arthur clearly wanted to protest but he hadn't had a chance to do so. They shortly disappeared and we had nothing to do than wait for them. I shot a glance at Romano, who pouted at me and I sighed:

"You hungry?" I said sitting down on the grass, suddenly exhausted. I was surprised to see Romano sit beside me but then I noticed that Ludwig and Feliciano had too and I supposed Romano just wanted to control his brother better. Francis, Gilbert and the new guy, Matthew, looked at each other and sat down too. I offered once more my tomatoes and I was shocked to see Romano actually accepting one (I'll call grabbing and take one without asking, accepting). Feliciano took one too, thanking me and saying that he hated McDonalds and didn't know if he could actually eat the stuff Alfred was going to bring.

"I grow them myself…" I said, proud of me as I noticed Romano's eyes actually close in appreciation. Of course maybe I was just seeing things. When Romano finished his first tomato, I decided to ask: "Do you like them?"

"Even shit is better than hamburgers…", Romano just said. Okay, that wasn't a really nice compliment but I realized that if I wanted to go out with Romano I shouldn't be bothered by his comments. So I let it pass.

"Romano likes tomatoes a lot!" Feliciano suddenly exclaimed, "They are Romano's favorite food, didn't you know Antonio?"

In a blink of an eye Feliciano had managed to make me from discouraged to actually happy. Romano and I had something in common? It was a good start!

"Just shut up, idiot! Is not that I like them…" Romano said as he grabbed another one from the bag, "It's just… I… I'm hungry and I don't like McDonalds!" he exclaimed. I smiled, he was so cute, even if I couldn't still understand if he was telling the truth or was covering his embarrassment. Either way I suddenly felt warm inside. Some minutes later Arthur and Alfred returned with bags full of hamburgers and French fries. They give one to each of us and I started munching on my French fries, leaving all my tomatoes to Romano, who had tossed his McDonald's bag away.

Everyone had formed their little group. Ludwig and Feliciano were talking together, or, better Feliciano was ranting about something and Ludwig was nodding. Somewhere on their right Francis, Arthur and Alfred were discussing animatedly and Gilbert was talking with Matthew, who was smiling and nodding. I raised an eyebrow and wondered what Gilbert was saying that was so interesting before I remembered that Gilbert wanted to hit on Matthew so whatever he was saying must be just a bunch of bullshit anyway.

I was alone with Romano.

Wait. I. Alone. With. Romano. I should take my chance! I turned to look at Romano, who was inspecting the last tomato as if it was poisonous and I bit my lip.

"I…" I tried to start. Wow. I never expected this to be so difficult. Usually it doesn't take me long to find something to talk about. Well, usually I would manage to get whoever I wanted in a blink of an eye but this was Romano we are talking about and I didn't want to mess up.

Again.

"I told you I'm not interested in you…" Romano said, "Don't you try to start a conversation with me!"

"Not even to pass the time?", I smiled. He pouted, remained in silence for a moment (a long, endless moment for me), then he sighed:

"I'm wasting my time here…" he just said. "I should have stayed home…"

"Oh, come on, Romano!" Feliciano exclaimed, scooping closer. I noticed he was alone. Where was Ludwig? Ah, he was throwing the empty bags away…

"It's beautiful here…" Feliciano continued: "The sun is so bright… why spending such a day inside? Don't you agree, Antonio?"

"Yes…" I smiled immediately. Feliciano's cheerfulness was so addicting.

"Ve~ Antonio?" Feliciano said smiling, "What do you do for a living?"

"I work in a kindergarten…" I said.

"You molest little kids too?" Romano suddenly exclaimed. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, it must be really fun!" Feliciano exclaimed, ignoring his brother, "Tell me more?"

We started talking. Ludwig sat down again beside us and was immediately added in the conversation. I glanced at Romano every once in a while but the boy seemed perfectly content to stay alone. I don't know how much time passed but in the end it was time to go home.

Arthur parted ways with Alfred and Matthew. Alfred exclaimed that it had been fun and that we should do it another time. Francis kissed Feliciano on the cheek, earning a glare from Romano and waved the two brothers goodbye. When we were just the four of us Gilbert turned to look at us all and smiled widely.

"Guess! Two things happened today that were really awesome!"

We looked at each other and then Ludwig coughed nervously.

"First!" Gilbert smirked. Ludwig glared. "Cute little Feliciano gave his number to Ludwig…"

"Gilbert!" Ludwig suddenly exclaimed and I turned to see him blush. Wow, I never saw Ludwig blush and he seemed to do it a lot that day…

"Really?," I commented "Oh, you are so lucky! Feliciano must be the cutest boy I met!"

"Weren't you interested in his brother?" Gilbert smirked at me, "Or do you want both of them?"

"He's going to consider the idea, you know…" Francis laughed. Francis knew me too well.

"When are you going to see him next?", Gilbert asked then, diverting the attention back to Ludwig.

"It's not like that!" Ludwig exclaimed and turned his back at us. Gilbert laughed and patted his brother on the back then he smirked again.

"Okay, okay! Enough teasing my baby brother!" he exclaimed, "Let's talk about me!"

"Yes, your awesomeness…" Francis smirked. Gilbert just laughed:

"You should call me that more often…" he said, "Anyway, I scored again!", took out a little piece of paper and waved it at us. "Look at what I've got! Matthew's number!"

"What about you, Antonio?" Francis suddenly asked, turning his attention to me as Gilbert started talking with Ludwig, who seemed pretty pissed off of being teased like that.

"What about me?" I just said with a smile.

Francis didn't need me to say anything else.


	8. Chapter 7

After the picnic fiasco (as I like to call it), Francis seemed really in the mood to be the one to plan when and where we three should go every night. Gilbert was pretty annoyed by this, because he doesn't like being bossed around more than once, but Francis didn't want to hear any of our own ideas. Strangely he seemed lost in his own planning world and both Gilbert and I suspected that it had something to do with Arthur, also because our ex-classmate seemed to show up whenever we went. Every time, though, Francis seemed put off by this. It was as if he expected someone else…

It happened, nevertheless, that sometimes Arthur wasn't alone and was accompanied by Alfred, Feliciano, Feliks and Romano (he came once or twice, just to spy on his brother), and when that happened Francis was literally on cloud nine. I really couldn't connect these facts together and in the end I thought that Francis wanted to bed Alfred or Feliciano or Feliks and used these go-outs as an excuse. Everytime, though, it would turn out to be a real fiasco for both of us. I, on my part, never managed to take out from Romano more than a: "Bastard" or "Go fuck yourself" and always ended up talking to Feliciano or, if he decided to come, Feliks.

Gilbert and I tried to ask him the real reason behind this but Francis kept his mouth tightly shut and didn't let us into his mind, much to Gilbert's annoyance.

So it wasn't something new when Francis, that day, declared that we must go to the Nightwave no matter what. I had to pay a visit there for quite some time and I was quite missing Romano too so I immediately accepted. Gilbert, on the other, was starting to feel really pissed off at Francis and spat:

"Why do you have to drag us all of us around, just so you find the perfect excuse to grope that eyebrow-freak?"

Neither me nor Francis expected this and Francis seemed mostly shocked by what Gilbert said.

"Seriously, Gilbert…" Francis said as soon as he recomposed himself, "It's not because of Arthur that…"

"No, of course not…" Gilbert said and sighed loudly, "Do what you want!", he exclaimed then and put his coat back on, "I'm going to have fun somewhere else. Bye!" and with that he closed the door behind him.

"Should I run after him?" I asked.

When I turned to look at Francis, he was deeply scowling. He looked at me and shook his head.

"No, let him go…", he said and took his car's keys from the table, "He'll be fine tomorrow..."

"So…" I bit my lip, "We're going to the Nightwave alone?"

"Of course!" Francis smiled at me, "Let's go!"

My heart started beating fast when I realized that we really were going to the Nightwave in the end, and as anticipation started to eat me from inside, I sprinted to get my coat and money and almost tripped in doing so, making Francis laugh.

That day was going to be a really special day, I must say. In more ways that just one, now that I think about it. Of course back then I believed that that day wasn't that special at all. On the contrary. But of course I'm running things here, so I'll stop here with my ramblings.

The Nightwave that night was once again full. People danced in sync with the loud, techno music and the flickering red, green and blue lights were as blinding as ever. I didn't wait for Francis to follow me and I immediately made my way to the usual barstool where I knew Romano was. I recognized immediately Feliks, who was talking with what I presumed was a client. As if on cue Feliks looked up, noticed me and started waving at me in that characteristically way of his. When we were enough close to hear each other, I said:

"Hi, Feliks!" and smiled. He was wearing some kind of dress today and in the flickering lights it wasn't difficult to mistake him for a girl even if his voice gave it all away. He smiled at me and observed my face with that knowing look he wore 24/7.

"What's up, Antonio? No boring go-outs today all together?" he said and filled a glass with gin and tonic. Without asking me what I wanted he pushed the glass over to me.

"Thanks…" I muttered, even if I wasn't really in the mood to drink, "No, fortunately…" I answered then, "Francis today decided to come here instead…"

"That Francis!" Feliks said, "He is, like, totally insane!" he laughed, "Tried to pinch me in the ass, did he tell you? He was like, crying when I was finished with him!"

"Yeah, I remember…" I laughed. Francis had tried to do more than pinch Feliks in the ass, actually, he tried to lift Feliks' skirt up to the man's crotch (because he said he wanted to make sure Feliks was a man). Didn't make it, though, and the results were actually catastrophic for Francis, because he managed to ruin Feliks' favorite skirt.

"When Feliciano told me about the picnic…" Feliks continued, "I was like, totally jealous! So I said, OK, next time Alfred invites me I'll totally go…", he pushed another glass to a man sitting beside me. "But I never guessed to meet people like your friends!" he laughed. "Where's that idiot Gilbert, by the way?"

It was a fact that Feliks and Gilbert didn't like each other. I don't know what happened exactly but the first time they met things didn't go as they should have. Gilbert didn't tell me anything and the few times I talked with Feliks, he promptly ignored the question.

"He didn't come…" I said, "He had a little quarrel with Francis…"

"I'm glad!" Feliks said, "I wasn't in the mood to see his totally idiotic fa—". Suddenly a voice shut Feliks in the middle of his speech and we both turned around to the source of the voice:

"What are you doing here?" Romano exclaimed, making finally his appearance. He was looking at me with disgust but of course I ignored it and waved at him. Romano sighed loudly and slammed the bottle he was holding on the barstool.

"Hello to you too, Romano!" I greeted. Romano didn't say anything, he looked down, noticed the half empty glass of gin and tonic Feliks have given to me and glared at Feliks.

"If you continue treating him like that, he is going to keep coming!" he shouted. Feliks enquired an eyebrow.

"Like, you don't want him to…" he said. I couldn't see well but I could swear that Romano started to blush.

"You are just sick!" Romano exclaimed and groaned. "Go away and go exasperate someone else!" he stated then, turning back to me.

"This is not the way to act before the customers!" Alfred suddenly piped in and put his arms around Feliks' and Romano's shoulders. I looked up at Alfred's grinning face.

"It's you!" Alfred said as soon as he recognized me, "That's why Romano's making all this ruckus! How are you, buddy?"

"Er… fine…" I said. I was starting to feel strange, what with the way Alfred was looking at me and Romano's murdering aura. Feliks seemed the only one unfazed by everything and he looked amused at me, as if expecting me to say something really funny.

It was there that things started to go from strange to really completely weird. I suddenly felt an arm around my waist and I turned surprised at Francis, serenely sitting down beside me.

"Oh, no… another one…" I heard Romano murmur and I noticed he tried to untangle himself from Alfred's grip, but Alfred seemed like he didn't want to let go that soon.

"Hallo, everyone!" Francis exclaimed. He seemed drunk and in fact his breath slightly smelled of alcohol. His grip around my waist tightened and I wondered what he had been drinking. "Feliks! You are as stunning as ever!"

"Thank you." Feliks grinned, "This dress was actually made in France, isn't, like totally fabulous!"

"You're really good in it…" Francis said, "Of course, you'll be good out of it, too…"

Feliks rolled his eyes but I could see he was really amused by it all. Suddenly Francis looked at Romano and grinned.

"Oh, the blushing Italian!" Francis exclaimed. I didn't need further proof that Francis was drunk. I sighed and wished Gilbert was there to help me out. "You should relax a little…" Francis slurred, "Come and dance with us… isn't that a good idea, Antonio dear?"

I enquired an eyebrow at Francis as he stood up and took me from the hands. I really couldn't understand what was going on in Francis' head and for a moment I really thought that it had been his plan all along. Of course I didn't have enough evidence to be sure.

"It's a wonderful idea!" Alfred suddenly exclaimed, "That pervert is right, Romano! You should relax sometimes in your life!" he said and pushed Romano to were Francis and I were standing. Romano was too confused to react and suddenly he was standing before me. When Romano realized what exactly had happened he suddenly turned around horrified and exclaimed:

"What kind of employer you are! Shouldn't I be working?"

Alfred just waved at him and grinned. Feliks giggled:

"Oh, don't worry…" Feliks said just then, "I'm like, taking things over here now! Have fun~!"

"Great!" Francis shouted and his grin turned predatory. He grabbed Romano's hand and without letting go of me, managed to dive into the dancing throb. A moment later we were alone, in the middle of the dancefloor. Romano was pressed against me and suddenly I felt Francis hand let go of me.

The middle of the dancefloor was really asphyxiating and there was no room to dance with some space between us. Romano tried to shift away from me but the people around us immediately pushed him back into my arms again.

I remained right were Francis had left me.

I couldn't think.

My brain seemed to stop. It was Romano's fault, really.

I could feel every part of his body pressed against mine and that was making me feel really… okay, you get it, right? With every escape move he made, things went only worse for me. I was starting to feel really hot. I knew I shouldn't have drunk that gin and tonic! Suddenly Romano stopped and I knew, don't ask me how, but I knew that Romano had noticed I was having problems.

He suddenly looked up at me and I diverted my attention somewhere else, pretending to search for Francis, who had in the meantime disappeared from sight. I could feel Romano's eyes on me and I suddenly felt my face go red.

"I swear I didn't tell him to do that!" I muttered pathetically.

"I believe you…" Romano said, "You are too stupid to plan something like this…", he started to move again and I kept from letting out any strange noises. Unexpectedly, Romano's arms were around me and I looked surprised down at him. "I don't want to pretend anymore…" he whispered into my ear. I shivered. "Tell me where you live…" he added then. "…and I'll come as soon as I can tonight…"

"W-what?". Okay, I really was at loss with words and the alcohol in my veins didn't let me think straight. Romano shifted even closer to me and I felt his hot breath on my neck. It was enough for me to blurt out my address.

"My last name is Carriedo…" I added then for good measure. Romano seemed really pleased.

"Wait for me there…" he whispered then and abruptly moved away from me, managed to push some couples away and disappeared in the crowd. I stood shocked for a moment of two in the middle of the dancefloor, then I managed to flee out the nightclub. I wondered if I should text Francis to tell him what happened and instinctively my hand reached the pocket where I knew I had put my mobile. Instead of the mobile though, I found Francis' car's keys.

How did he manage to slip them into my pocket without me noticing? So, he really has planned for this to happen?

I didn't linger on the thought too much, though, and as soon as I found the car, I hopped into the driver's seat. I didn't have my driving license that time and it was a miracle no one stopped me. I was going too fast and I knew it.

Ten minutes later I was back at my apartment and immediately I started tidy everything up, wondering if Romano really meant the things he said. I felt so elated. I couldn't see straight. I couldn't believe my luck. I did it!

And suddenly I felt sad.

Was everything going to end simply like that? It had been frustrating, that was true, but I had to admit I was having fun trying to woo Romano like that.

The thought lasted a second because, as soon as I heard the doorbell rang, I felt excited again. I clumsily pressed the buttons that opened the front door of the building then I opened the door, listening to the sound of his steps climbing the stairs.

Romano was there. And he was carrying a large bag.

I stared at the bag as Romano made his way into my apartment and closed the door behind him. I wanted to ask him many questions but he didn't let me, he just dropped the bag and walked closer to me.

"Where's the bedroom…?" Romano asked and I gulped, suddenly at loss again. I pointed to one of the closed doors and he grabbed my arm with one hand, while lifting his bag with the other.

As soon as we were in Romano pushed me onto the bed and started kissing my jaw line. To say I was shocked would be a huge understatement, but he managed in that way to make me stop thinking once and for all.

He smirked smugly at me and started unbuttoning my shirt. My hands twitched to touch me but I seriously couldn't move. Suddenly he moved away from me and I just stared at him as he approached his bag. He opened it and took some ropes out.

Okay. I met many kinky people but I really hadn't expected this for Romano. Not that I minded then. A moment later he was back to me, took my hands and raised them over my head. It was then that I realized what he wanted to do and soon enough he managed to tie my hands up (awfully well, I must add) to the headboard.

Then his face came closer to mine. I stared at the expression his eyes were making and a moment later I couldn't see anymore. He put a blindfold on me, tied it well behind my head, then I felt his finger brush my exposed chest until they found my navel. They lingered a little there and then he suddenly moved them away.

Romano knew what he was doing and I should have known too. Sometimes I tell myself I am an idiot too. I really am.

Romano grabbed my legs, tied them up in the same way he had with my arms. Maybe it was then that I finally realized what was going on or maybe it was when he pulled my pants and boxers down. I don't know.

Fact is it was then I knew Francis and Gilbert weren't far from the truth when they told me I was dense.

I couldn't move anymore.

I couldn't see anymore.

And I was half naked in bed.

Perfect black-mailing material.

My, wasn't that awkward?

I heard Romano say something under his breath, the sound of the bag's zip closing and the sound of my bedroom's door shutting. I wanted to laugh, really. Romano was a little devil after all.

I stayed perfectly motionless until I was sure I really was alone in my apartment, then I tried to free myself, but to no avail.

"This is so uncomfortable…" I whined out loud. I tried to untangle the blindfold. Nothing. Romano was really good at that… unfortunately. I couldn't do anything else than wait for tomorrow for someone to help me out.

The worst night of my life.


	9. Gilbert 1

LISTEN carefully everyone because I'm going to repeat it just once and I expect you (well, I know you won't, it's impossible to!) TO NEVER forget it.

I am Gilbert Beilschmidt. The awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt. Or just Mr. Awesome.

I'm handsome, and you know it, and I'm good at everything I do. Don't listen to what others may say to you that, for example, I can't sing, because they are just jealous of me and they are lying! I always wanted a motorbike but my brother does everything he can so I'll never start taking lessons to learn how to ride one, I love my home-country very much and I would like to return living back there one day, I hate reading, I'm easily bored, I hate working in that bookstore, my favorite color is Prussian blue, I have some kind of short temper but I can be pretty patient when I want/need to, I love cute things but don't tell anyone that, I have a little pet chick but don't tell my _brother_ that because it's still a secret (he is such a clean-freak, if he knew that in my bedroom there's a chick running free around, he'll be there in a second with his cleaning equipment and I'm scared he is gonna freak my pet to death), I love nature, I keep a journal (diaries are too girly), I love strategy games, I could stay hours on Internet…

Okay, you get it. I could talk about myself hours and hours on end. So, maybe I should balance things a little. Hmm… okay, how are you everyone? Good? Cool, okay, let's go back to me.

I moved here with my family when I was little, while my brother was still a baby. I didn't want to, of course, but my dad found a really good job here and we couldn't do but follow. The first month here had been a nightmare, I hated everything and everyone. I made a fuss over everything and my parents still remember my first day of kindergarten… I don't but my mother still tells me that for a moment they seriously thought of moving back home.

In the end we didn't, partly because I had found someone who made me realize that maybe moving here wouldn't be so bad.

A month after we settled here, another family moved right next door. They came from Hungary and the really next day they moved into their new house, they decided to pay us a visit. Really lovely people I must say and they had a son my age.

Okay, at first I thought they had a son. He looked like a boy, moved and talked like one, but then his mother told us his name and really, how many boys are called Elizabeta? She had green eyes and short chestnut hair and she too was one hundred percent sure she was a boy. She kept denying she was a girl till she was twelve or something, if I remember correctly. One summer day, when we were playing in a swimming pool, she turned to look at me and told me she couldn't wait for her 'peepee' (yeah, she called it that, the idiot) to grow. We were eight.

"Your name is Elizabeta, idiot. A girl's name"

"No, Elizabeta's is a very manly name"

"That's stupid! It's like saying Gilbert is a girly name"

"Exactly".

Anyway, we hated and liked each other at first but she was the first friend I made here. Since we were neighbors, we always found the time to play together until one day we became officially best friends. She of course accepted the fact she wasn't a boy, sooner or later, but continued acting like one.

We went to Elementary School together, Middle School together and until the end of High School we were always together. She liked Antonio, couldn't stand Francis and she always had the bad habit to slam our heads on hard surfaces when she didn't like something we did or said. Beside that, I really liked having her around.

We did a lot of things together, we had detention together, we studied together (ok, maybe I should say, I begged her to help me out with homework), a lot of things. Once I even helped her cut her hair more boy-like. I made a mess, but she liked it anyway. Her parents weren't as excited as her though and I ended up without television for a month. Anyway…

I spent my childhood like that, with Antonio, Francis and Elizabeta around. It was fun. Don't think that I didn't pay attention to my brother! No, I played with him too but he preferred spending his time with a little girl from his kindergarten more. I never met her but Ludwig was head over heels in love with her. She was his first crush. Wasn't that cute? It's a pity she and her family had to move out when Ludwig was going to enter his first year of Elementary School.

I don't think they ever met each other again…

Hmm… what I was saying?

Ah, yeah. Elizabeta.

Suddenly in High School Elizabeta changed. After summer vacations, when she returned from Hungary or Austria, I don't remember, she was completely a new person. She had thrown all her old clothes away and started wearing dresses and skirts. She started wearing make up too and she decided to let her hair down forever. I never saw her with a ponytail again but that's not the point, the point is: I had never noticed how beautiful she was until then and that was because someone was going to steal her away from me.

Anyhow, I had asked her why she had decided to look like that when she always claimed that she always hated to look like a Barbie-doll, but she just shrugged it off, saying that people change and:

"Don't you like it?"

"I… I…", I was embarrassed, really. "Er… I never saw you like this…"

"Are you saying that I'm not beautiful?"

"No!" I exclaimed, "No! You are more beautiful than…"

"…than before? Are you saying I was ugly first?"

"No!"

Damn girls. They twist a man's words around until they manage to make us look bad. Don't they understand we men are simple creatures? When we say something, we mean it, it's not like we are insinuating about something else.

Anyway! The real reason for this change was soon discovered. A new student, from Austria, had arrived and the bastard had managed to steal Elizabeta's heart away. They met casually on summer's vacation, chit-chatted a little and discovered they were going to attend the same High School. I really don't know what she saw in him: he was so stuck up, all he thought about was his classic music, his piano, and that mole on his face made him look so ridiculous. I still believe it was fake. His name was Roderich. What a stupid name… and he acted like he came from some royal family or something. Really! He was more stuck up than Arthur Kirkland! And for me that said a lot…

Of course I couldn't refrain from complaining about him all the time to the Bad Touch Trio until one day Francis and Antonio (but mostly Francis, because Antonio can hid his real emotions so damn well, the bastard) finally said:

"Stop complaining and admit to yourself that you love her!"

Ok. That was completely untrue. I didn't love that tomboy. Not at all. And I kept telling myself that until the day Roderich and Elizabeta officially dated.

I still remember the pain in my chest when she told me, with that smile on her face and her green eyes shining with joy, about her first kiss with Roderich. It was there that I realized that I had wanted to be her first kiss all along, since I don't know when, but they had to smash the fact that Elizabeta could date other guys to my face to get it.

I always took her for granted and I'm an idiot for thinking about that, but I did, and it was too late when I finally realized how much Francis was right. I loved her.

I realized that I always hoped that we could be together forever. I dreamt of us hand in hand, even if I'll never admit it out loud, I wished she would look at me in the same way she did with Roderich. I wished she would be so anxious to see me instead of that Austrian bastard. I wished I was the one she dreamed to marry one day.

I never liked marriage, to tell you the truth, the concept of spending your life with one person forever, until the day you die, has always given me a sense of repression, like being in jail or something. So it really bewildered me when I thought that I really wouldn't have minded to spend the rest of my life with her.

I never said anything to her, though, but one day all these feelings inside me became too much to bear and when one day she came to my house to show me the necklace Roderich had given her as a gift for their first Anniversary, I snapped.

"What do you see in him?" I shouted. "I'm sure that's the only thing he can ever give to you! He is so arrogant and probably doesn't even consider you as a person, but just as his doll! Don't you see you deserve better?"

"A doll?" Elizabeta shouted, "You dare to say this, someone who changes girlfriends like, every week? Shut the fuck up! And do, pray tell, who is better than Roderich? Oh, mighty Gilbert?"

"Me, for example!" I shouted and then bit my tongue. She looked at me, thunderstruck, and then said, with a calmer voice:

"Why?"

Why. I didn't know. I only knew that I could have told her that I loved her in that moment, I could have told her everything. How I loved the way she smiled, the way she pretended to know how to dance, the way she put on her make up, everything… I know now that maybe, maybe, she would have realized that she loved me too. Maybe she would have dated me. We would have married. Have kids together. They would have been awesome, I just knew. But I remained silent.

I really couldn't talk.

She looked at me for a moment, I still remember the pain in her eyes, the tears slowly forming, and I thought in that moment that I saw her cry many times but never because of me and that was something that made me want to kill myself. She turned around and slammed the door of my bedroom in my face. I didn't even try to run after her.

If I had, maybe things would have been better. But I didn't and by doing nothing I managed to ruin our perfect friendship.

She didn't talk to me ever again since that day. She taught me how much love hurts but I still loved her, and I was ready to make amends to her. Everyday I recited what I wanted to tell her in my head but every time I saw her the words just died in my throat.

She was the only person in this fucking world to make me feel weak and so… alone.

Then everything changed.

One day Antonio came to my house. He was ready to cry but didn't and just asked me to call Francis. We three had some kind of reunion that day and Antonio told us all about what had happened to him. I never told my friends what I said to Elizabeta that made her hate me so much and that day, after Antonio's confession, I found the courage to speak.

When I stopped talking I was crying but no one dared to make fun of me and still neither of them do. Suddenly Antonio said:

"Why don't we make a pact? Let's… let's not fall in love ever again…"

"Never again?" I asked.

"Yeah…" he said, suddenly not so sure anymore. "Why should we be the ones to be hurt? If we won't love ever again, no one is going to hurt us anymore…"

Francis was the first one to agree. I wasn't so sure about it, at first, even if now I don't regret my decision. For a moment I thought I wasn't ready for that pact, because I still loved Elizabeta, and who would guarantee me that as soon as she and Roderich broke up I wouldn't run to kiss her? As soon as Francis agreed, though, I decided to agree too.

We shook our hands on it and locked our hearts.

The last time I heard from Elizabeta (after years of not talking anymore) was three years ago. She called me. She told me she had called my mother, that she had given her my new number, and that she had decided to give it a try.

"I called you because, I'm getting married…" she said. I didn't expect that to hurt as much as it did. "And… I would like you to come to my wedding…"

"Are you marrying Roderich?" I asked, out of curiosity. She confirmed my suspicions. "That's…" I said, and tried to smile even if I knew she couldn't see, "That's fantastic!" I said, "I'm really happy for you!"

"R-really?"

"Of course! Congratulations!"

"So… are you coming to my wedding?"

"When is going to be?" I asked. She told me the day, I didn't even write it down.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" I said, "I'll be in Germany those days. Family matters, you see…"

"Oh…"

"You don't mind, do you?" I asked, "I'm really sorry."

"No, it's okay…" she said. "Well… see you one day?"

"Of course! And again congratulations!"

I never called her.

And I think I'll never do it.

I never regretted my decisions. I'm living a totally amazing life right now even without her. Something I thought wasn't possible when I was fifteen. Of course, everything would be more amazing if Francis didn't suddenly decide to be the Planner! Ach! He was getting on my nerves, the idiot! I can have fun perfectly on my own, thank you very much!

Suddenly I pulled my mobile out and remembered… Matthew… I had that boy's number and I haven't seen him since the picnic. Should I give it a try? Mmm… why not? And if he isn't free? Oh, what the hell. I called him.

"Hello?" he answered. Oh, my… what should I tell him? Of course, my name, what an idiot.

"Hi!" I said, "I'm Gilbert! Remember me from the picnic?"

"Gilbert?" I heard him say. "Of course, I remember! How are you?"

"Fine! Are you free, by the way?"

"Of course… why?"

Oh, man. A boy like Matthew… Where should I take him? To a nightclub? Didn't seem the type. To have a cup of tea? Oh! I didn't know!

"Should we go out for…" I tried. Oh, man. What could he like?

"…for a couple of beers?" he said, taking me totally aback. Beers? "Let's see you in ten minutes, eh?" he continued then. I started to grin:

"At…?" I told him my favorite place for a drink.

"I love that place…" he said.

I found my man…


	10. Chapter 8

The first sound I heard that morning was… laughing.

I couldn't see but I knew that somebody was laughing at me and judging by the sound of it, it was Gilbert.

Hallelujah…

I groaned, shifted a little, waited until Gilbert finally stopped laughing and untangled the blindfold from my eyes, and then stared at his grinning face. I was in a bad mood, and not because Gilbert was going to make fun of me till the end of times, okay, maybe that too, but because I had managed to fall asleep only a couple of hours before.

"Well, well…", Gilbert grinned so smugly that if I could move I would have punched him. "What has happened here?", he asked.

"Nothing you think of…" I said and yawned. God. It's too early and this sucked. "Help me out of these, please…" I said then. I wanted so much to stretch my legs but the idiot just stared at me.

"Shouldn't I call Francis first?" he said instead, laughing. I rolled my eyes.

"No, thanks. Just help me out." I said.

"Grumpy, aren't we?" Gilbert said finally kneeling down to try and untie the ropes around my wrists first. It took him a while to do it and I just watched his eyebrows quirk in frustration for a moment before he suddenly sighed in victory. "Man, whoever did this to you is really good with knots…" he exclaimed and finally I felt my hands free. I immediately tended to my wrists: they were a little bruised and hurt like hell but it was nothing compared to what I was feeling in that moment.

"It was Romano…" I explained while I bended to untangle the ropes around my legs on my own. I promptly ignored Gilbert's smirk and before he could say something stupid, I said: "I fell into his trap… Don't laugh, please."

Gilbert shook his head but I could see he was trying hard not to. I just pulled my pants up and finally stretched. Man, what a night. I decided to change clothes and ignored Gilbert starting to laugh again. I exited my bedroom, Gilbert in tow, and decided to have a cup of coffee. It would help clear my mind a bit…

"Francis told me to come…" Gilbert said sitting down on one of the chairs, "He called me first thing in the morning…" he continued, "…and asked me to come here and fetch his car, because he had company…"

"I see… So you are not angry with him anymore?" I asked, starting to prepare the coffee.

"Not like yesterday…" Gilbert said, "Francis told me that he really overdid it and apologized. He said he won't do it anymore…"

I nodded, even if I knew fairly well that Francis won't keep his promise. Ach, I already hated that day. My back hurt and my wrists and ankles were so bruised… and now Gilbert taunting me… Wait a moment. I turned to look at Gilbert: "How did you come in?"

"The door was open", he said as a matter of fact. I groaned and suddenly remembered I left the walled on the little table next to the front door. I left the coffee and made my way there, under Gilbert's confused face.

"What's wrong?" he asked and watched me as I found my wallet and opened it. Empty.

Totally empty.

"Ah, that Romano!" I said and suddenly I started to laugh, "He left the door open for anyone to come into my apartment and stole my money. What a…", cunning little devil. I laughed again.

"Really?" Gilbert exclaimed, stood up and grabbed the wallet from my hands to see with his own two eyes the damage done. "Did he steal something else?"

"I don't know…" I said. Strangely I found the whole situation hilarious, I don't know why, maybe because I had never expected that to happen. Okay, probably there was nothing funny about it… maybe…

"Why are you laughing, Antonio? This is serious…" Gilbert stared at me. "Will you now tell me what happened?"

"Nothing!" I said with a smile and filled my cup with the now ready coffee, "After you freaked out on us…"

"I don't freak out…", he mumbled taking a cup from the cupboard.

"We went to the Nightwave…" I continued, ignoring Gilbert, "…I was talking with Romano and somehow Francis managed to make me and Romano dance… well… if you call Romano trying to get away, dance… anyway! Romano tricked me and I ended up like you found me… nothing else."

"You call that nothing?" Gilbert was shocked. "He even stole your money!"

I'm always amazed at how Gilbert can turn from amused to serious in a matter of seconds. One moment he is making fun of Francis and me, the next he is all over us like a mother hen. Gilbert doesn't want to admit that he is like his brother sometimes but he is, especially if one of us had been or really was close to get hurt. He is a really loyal friend… he is.

"Well… it could have been worse…" I reasoned, "A serial killer or a rapist could have come in and… well, I'm okay, aren't I?"

"Antonio…"

"What?", I smiled.

"Don't do what I know you are going to do…" he said.

"What?", I seriously didn't get it.

"You are not going to see that boy ever again…" Gilbert said. "He is trouble and it isn't worthy really…"

"Why not?"

"It was really funny at first but did you see what he has done?", he exclaimed, "Don't play with fire!"

"Oh, you're making a fuss over nothing…" I said. "I'll talk to him tonight. It will be all right…"

"Are you crazy?" Gilbert exclaimed, "From now on, every time you see him, you should run the opposite direction! The guy is not worth it, trust me…"

"You are starting to sound like your brother…" I said, pouting a little. That seemed to do the trick as Gilbert shot me a venomous look and shut up. I sighed, I didn't want to feel Gilbert's wrath right then, so I changed subject: "Where did you go anyway yesterday?"

Gilbert stared at me, then sighed and ran a hand through his hair: "I went out with Matthew…" Gilbert said, his voice calmer. Matthew? The name didn't ring any bells so I asked:

"Who?"

"The guy from the picnic…", then Gilbert grunted, annoyed by my lack of memory, "Alfred's brother…" he tried again.

"Oh!" I said, "How's he?"

"You don't remember him, do you?", Gilbert stared at me. I stared back.

"I'm sorry…" I smiled a little shyly. Gilbert just sighed again.

"Seriously, sometimes I wonder why I keep hanging out with you…" Gilbert said. Suddenly his cell phone started ringing and we listened to the Jaw's soundtrack for a moment before Gilbert decided to answer. Francis was calling.

"You should really change ringtone" I said and put the empty cups in the sink. I was so tired, I could sleep all day…

"Why? It fits him!" Gilbert answered me before putting the phone next to his ear. "Yes, Francis?... I'm at Antonio's right now as promised… but maybe you should come too… yeah…" Gilbert grinned at me, "Be prepared to hear a funny story!"

"Don't tell him everything!" I exclaimed and tried to catch his cell phone from his hands.

"Too late!" Gilbert shouted at me, suddenly standing up and making me stumble on his vacant chair. Gilbert started narrating his story, from the way he found me to how it was all Romano's fault. When he was over, we both waited to hear Francis laugh from the other side.

But.

It never came. Instead Francis declared he was coming over as soon as possible and hung the phone, shocking both of us greatly.

"What the hell happened?" Gilbert murmured, looking up at me. I shrugged. The answer came an hour or so after Francis' call. Francis came over and as soon as I opened the door to greet me, he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry!" Francis exclaimed and my eyes widened in surprise. I looked back at Gilbert, who was tilting his head to the side in question.

"Er…" I said, patting Francis on the back. He hugged me tighter and it was with difficulty that I closed the door behind the blond man. "It's… okay?"

"No, it's not okay!" Francis said (always the drama queen) and let me go. Gilbert and I stared as he heavily sat down on the chair Gilbert had been previously sitting. We shared a look and Francis sighed.

"I'm really sorry, Antonio dear…"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, not understanding what the logic behind that statement was.

"I'm sorry…" Francis said, with a sigh, "It's my fault that you ended in such a… compromising situation…"

"What are you talking about?" I asked again. My head hurt, I didn't understand a thing. If Romano decided to play a trick on me what Francis had to do with it? Unless he planned for it to happen, which was highly unlikely.

"Spit it out, Francis!" Gilbert suddenly exclaimed, losing his patience, "You are getting on my nerves!"

Francis sighed again and looked at Gilbert, then at me, then he stared at his shoes. Francis sighed again and then finally talked:

"I've been trying to help Antonio out with Romano for a while that's why I kept choosing places the past days so he had a chance with him of course Arthur made sure Romano came but…"

My ears perked at the sound of Arthur's name in Francis' rambling. I was so confused. Gilbert seemed to get what Francis implied immediately though:

"So you forced them to dance…" Gilbert said.

"I tried to…" Francis said, "Antonio is really good at dancing, so I thought that maybe Romano would give in if…" Francis sighed, "I didn't expect that to happen. I'm sorry, Antonio…"

"It's not your fault if Romano did that…" I tried to reason.

"No, it is!" Francis said, "If I hadn't…"

"I would still have tried to get Romano in one way or another, you don't have anything to do with it…" I said with a smile. "And that is why I'm going to talk to him tonight…"

"You aren't serious…" Francis started. Not him too!

"He is!" Gilbert exclaimed, "Francis! Try to reason with him please, because I can't!"

"There are so many people out there that would love to spend the night with you…" Francis said then after sharing a look with Gilbert, "If you didn't manage with Romano, you should start looking for someone else…"

I was starting to get annoyed. Okay, Francis tried to help me and it got me sleeping the most uncomfortable way ever, I understood his point of view, their point of view, but I didn't care. I wanted to talk to Romano.

"I still want to talk to him."

"Are you really that thick, Antonio?" Gilbert suddenly wondered and massaged his temples. "Next time he could hurt you bad…"

"Romano wouldn't hurt me…" I said, matter of fact.

"How do you know?" Francis suddenly said, "Did you expect him to trick you in this?", I shook my head, "So? How are you so sure? He hasn't even told you his last name!"

"And neither had he told me his name…", I recalled, "But I figured it out, right?", I smiled.

"Antonio…", Gilbert sighed.

"He's not even cute!", Francis suddenly exclaimed, "Feliciano is way cuter than he is! Why don't you pursue him instead?"

This was getting annoying and I was sure neither of them was going to stop pestering me until I admitted they were right. I sighed and tried to control my nerves. This was no time to fight with my friends over something so stupid.

"I'm not listening to you…" I declared and made my way to my bedroom. I needed some sleep. "I'm going to speak to him tonight and that's final…"

"You are so stubborn!" Gilbert suddenly exclaimed, "And that's not awesome at all!"

"You are the one to talk..." Francis muttered, rolling his eyes.

"You are not helping!" Gilbert muttered back. I didn't know whether to laugh or kick them out of my house. I did neither.

"I'm going to get some real sleep now…" I said, my hand on the doorknob, "Francis, the car keys are in my jacket's pocket. Close the door on your way out!" and before either of them could speak, I closed the door behind me.

I didn't bother to make sure they left the house or not. I just fell on my bed and slept.

That evening I ignored all of Gilbert's and Francis' calls, showered, prepared myself, took my car and drove to the Nightwave. I decided not to think about what was going to happen or what Romano may tell me, because if I did, I would surely turn around and return home, and that meant admitting that Gilbert and Francis were right, which they were not. I tried so hard (okay, maybe not that hard) to speak with Romano, start a conversation with him, and, yeah, I got only insults but that must mean something, right? Right? If he just ignored me, that would be another story entirely, but at least he was insulting me. Okay, that sounded so wrong…

Nevertheless, he must be interested in me. Somehow. If he makes a fool of me every fucking time, it must mean he cares, no? Oh, man, who am I kidding..

I entered the nightclub with uncertain steps. In that moment I was ready to turn back and forget about Romano once and for all. I stared at the dancing throb, knowing that Romano was somewhere on the other side. Maybe I should really go...

I turned around, ready to forget everything and start looking for someone else to bright my days, when, suddenly, I felt a hand on my arm. I wasn't in the mood to flirt back with a stranger and I looked back, ready to tell whoever was grabbing my arm so. I was surprised to see Arthur Kirkland staring at me.

We stared at each other for a long time, until, all of a sudden, Arthur started to laugh, so loudly some of the people dancing near us, turned to look. I stared at Arthur, not getting the joke at all and when his laughter slowly subsided, I decided to ask him about it.

"What's so funny?"

Arthur bit his lip, trying to refrain himself from laughing again and looked at me again, his thick eyebrows quirking in amusement.

"Slept well last night?" he just asked and then put a hand over his mouth, as if he had asked something really inappropriate.

"What…", I blinked at Arthur, he just snickered.

"Oh, come on, Antonio…" Arthur exclaimed, "Did you really fell for _that_?"

Okay. I think I got it and that wasn't a good sign. No, really.

"You know", I stated.

"Of course I know!" he exclaimed, "Everyone in here knows…" he continued. "It's funny because I would have never expected you to have the guts and return here…"

"I…" well, I didn't know what to say, really. "I just need to talk to Romano…"

That seemed to take Arthur aback but the surprise in his eyes soon reverted to amusement.

"Really…" he said, in that annoying British accent of him and tugged my arm. "Let's go, then. I really ought to see this…"

I sighed as we avoided together the dancing throb. We found the bar stroll too quickly for my tastes and when we were there, Arthur exclaimed:

"Alfred! Alfred, you git, come here!"

As soon as Arthur called, Alfred was there in an instant, cleaning a glass like a classic bartender. Feliks too, who was standing some feet away from Alfred, raised his head to look. Their eyes were immediately on me and a moment later started laughing in the same fashion Arthur had. I sighed, preparing myself for another round of teasing.

"Antonio!" Alfred grinned, "I never thought I would see you here ever again!"

"And yet…" I whispered and looked around in search of Romano. He shouldn't be far, I supposed.

"I didn't want to tell you I told you so! But, man, I really did tell you so!" Alfred continued. I sighed, thinking once again that maybe Francis was right and I shouldn't have come. Not that I felt embarrassed. It takes me a lot more to feel embarrassed about, but I did felt kind of annoyed.

"That was like, totally hilarious!" suddenly Feliks jumped in, "I wish I had, like a camera or something to tape the whole thing! If I was you, I would like, totally take the next plane to Antarctica!"

"That's right, buddy!" Alfred exclaimed and slammed his hand on my shoulder. "You are the laughing stock of the club!"

"Really smooth, Alfred…" I heard Arthur say. The three of them looked at each other and suddenly they burst out in laughter again.

And then, as if on cue, Romano came into the picture. My heart started pounding really fast and when he finally noticed me, I wanted… I don't know what I wanted. I didn't have the time to say anything as Romano turned to look at me and scowled.

"Best of British to you!" I heard Arthur exclaim and then I was face to face with Romano.

"You never learn, do you Spanish bastard?" Romano exclaimed. I was really at loss with words. I didn't know what to say but Romano filled the silence for me. "You should have stayed home and never come back, but I guess you are too much of a damned idiot to realize that, aren't you? Didn't I make clear that you shouldn't fucking bother me ever again?"

"I don't want to bother you, I'm just interested in you…" I said.

Romano laughed: "You are not interested in _me_! Let's face it, you don't care who I really am! You just want to fucking play around and you will just keep bothering me over and over again, until I give in because you are such a spoiled fucking brat who can't take no for an answer. All your thoughts come from down there…" and pointed at somewhere under my belt, "All you do is because of that little thing between your legs and not because you really want to know me or anyone else for that matter, so do the world a favor and go bug someone who is interested in _tiny little_ things!"

Arthur, Alfred and Feliks started to laugh again and Romano looked smugly at me, as if daring me to say something. I sighed. I knew a losing battle when I saw one and stood up. I smiled at Romano:

"Fine, I'll go…" I said, "But I just want to tell you that I _really_ am interested in you. Now more than before, because I've got a glimpse of who you really are and not the man you pretend to be. You act so mighty but last night I saw the guilt in your eyes a moment before you tied me up. You seem surprised.. didn't you think I would notice? You were feeling guilty for me and that means that you just pretend not to care but there is something more than meets the eye. I want to know what, I want to know the real you, what you think about, what you really feel… and it's not because my little thing, as you call it, and you know it's not true, you were there after all, is commanding me to but it's because I really think you are a great person underneath it all. What are you afraid of? Why you keep hiding? Are you afraid the others won't accept you if they knew who you really are? I guess I'll never know, so… it's been fun…" and with that I nodded at them all and turned to go.

A moment later I was out and I sighed. I kindly accepted the cold night breeze on my face and remained still for a moment before taking my car's keys out.

"Bastard!"

I suddenly turned around and was shocked to see Romano exiting the Nightwave. I wanted to smile but remained serious as he slowly approached me. He looked at me straight in the eyes then he suddenly blushed and muttered something under his breath.

"What?" I asked and at that Romano blushed even harder.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" he said, a little louder this time and the fact made me smile. He didn't look at me, then took my hand and put something in my palm. I looked down and stared at the money Romano gave me. It was the money he stole.

"You could have kept it…" I said.

"W-what are you talking about, bastard!" Romano exclaimed, "If you don't want it, give it back!" but he didn't try to grab the money from my open palm. I smiled at him, he just pouted and looked away from me. "My name is Romano Vargas…" he suddenly said.

I blinked at him, then my smile turned into a full grin.

"Antonio Fernandez Carriedo…" I said.

"Typical Spanish name…" he said and grimaced. I laughed as he abruptly turned around and made his way back into the club.


	11. Chapter 9

The sky was grey and the air smelled too much of rain. I hate days like this, when the sun doesn't shine and it's so dark and gloomy. It puts me in an awful mood and I feel like something is afflicting me. I know I will never live in a country where it rains all the time.

That was why that day I wanted to go home as soon as possible. Moreover I had forgotten my umbrella home and I didn't want to get caught in the rain anytime soon. I couldn't do anything about it, though; I couldn't leave the children for another hour or so.

"Mr. Antonio! Mr. Antonio!"

I turned around as one of my children ran to me and almost tripped on his untied shoelaces. I smiled at him. Kids are so cute! Their cheeks are so round and most of them look like little dolls! When they call you mister is adorable and when they act as adults are even more lovable!

"What is it, Mark?"

The little boy approached me and pointed at one of his friends on the other side of the room. Since it was kind of chilly outside, we decided to let the children play inside today. Of course, in that way, there was less space for them to play and the children felt a little limited. Days like this are the worst because is more probable they start to fight over a toy or another, while outside they have more things to do.

Mark had come to me exactly for that reason: they were fighting over who was going to play with the T-Rex toy.

I shot a look at Lilly, who was watching over some girls painting over-sized flowers on a little piece of paper. My co-worker looked up at me and waved. I smiled at her and decided to go help Mark out.

I don't know if you got it… but I simply adore my job! It's tiring but I feel like I did something essential when the end of the day comes and that my energies weren't wasted. I like to think that I do my job well, that I do help these kids grow into perfect adults. Gilbert says that I kind of go too far with that sentence, that these kids are too small, that one day they will even forget about me and what I taught them, that are going to happen a lot of other things in their lives that will decide if they are going to be good adults or not…

I know he is right, in a way, but I really hope I give them the right basis for them to make the right decisions. That is what I want to achieve.

In the end Mark and his friend decided to share the toy and proceeded to play together. I looked out of the window again, at the black clouds up in the sky and frowned. It was going to rain, I knew it…

"If you want to go home…" I suddenly heard Lilly say behind me, "I'll gladly take things from here…"

I turned around to her. She has short blond hair and always had since I first met her. She told me that she didn't want long hair, not anymore, since like that she looked like her brother more. Lilly looks so young compared to other girls her age and many times I too forget how old she really is. Of course, whenever I tell her that, she laughs and thanks me, because, she says, for a woman that's a real compliment.

"No, I can't leave you do all the work, Lilly!" I said. She shook her head and smiled at me. I never saw her brother smile (and I'm sure I never will) but I always supposed that he would look like that too.

"It's nothing!" she said, "Today the children are quite calm, it will be fine and, moreover, the administrator won't even notice your absence!"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course!" Lilly said. "See you tomorrow!"

I smiled at her and took her hand in mine. I mouthed a thank you and turned to wave goodbye to the children. I left the room with a chorus of: "See you tomorrow, Mr. Antonio!" and I felt warm inside.

Before I returned home, I needed to go to the supermarket first, since Francis and Gilbert had decided the other day to eat everything they found inside the fridge.

I misjudged the time and when I was finished with my shopping, it was raining buckets. It was raining so much I couldn't see where I was going and I wondered how I was going to find my way to the bus station. Not that it was far from the supermarket but I really couldn't see the right way to go.

In the end I decided to follow my instincts… and collided with a man.

Yes, I'm just that lucky.

Anyway, I managed not to fall and had a tight grip on my shopping bag but the other man didn't seem as fortunate. He cursed and I tried to help him up, muttering a 'sorry', when…

"Bastard! Are you stalking me?"

I recognized the voice (how couldn't I?) and almost immediately I let go of the bag and took both of Romano's hands, pulling him up, into my arms, in a matter of seconds.

"I'm sorry!" I exclaimed again, "I couldn't see!"

"What are you doing here, Antonio bastard?" Romano shouted almost in my face. Now I could see how soaked he was and I felt bad for colliding with him. He scowled at me and I just smiled.

"Well, I finished work and I…"

"I didn't ask you to tell me how your day went, dammit!" Romano shouted again, slapped my hands away from his shoulders, collected the umbrella from the street and opened it once again, this time over the two of us. Romano frowned again at me: "Are you stalking me?"

"The kindergarten I work for is two districts down from here…" I explained.

"You work _there_?" Romano was surprised, "I used to go there when I was kid…" he muttered, more to himself than to me. I smiled. Wow! I worked where Romano used to play once… that is so cute! Romano probably noticed my glee at the news and turned his back abruptly, leaving me in the rain again.

"Wait! Romano~" I whined, picking up my bag and following him. He turned to look and pouted.

"What do you want, bastard?"

"Do you live far?" I asked.

"Why should you care?" Romano shouted and then looked at me. I really couldn't understand what was going on in his head and suddenly he started to walk away from me again. I sighed and surrendered to the idea that I wasn't going to find the way to the bus station any time soon when suddenly Romano shouted:

"Well? Are you coming or not, dammit?"

I grinned, ran to him and he kicked me away when I tried to get under the umbrella with him.

Romano's apartment was not far. He continued cursing his luck and continued shooting me murderous the way to his home.

He opened the front door to the building and when we arrived before his door, my heart was beating madly against my chest. It was like Christmas for me! A huge step forwards! I was going to know where Romano lived, slept, ate, showered...!

"Don't sit on my couch! I don't want it to fucking get drenched!" Romano shouted at me when he closed the door behind us, he then disappeared into what I supposed was his room. I nodded because I couldn't care less about the couch when I finally was alone with Romano and left the bag near the front door before taking a look around me. I already loved the living room! There were two little couches, a television set and really beautiful paintings on the walls. I made my way to his book-case and looked at the multitude of photos framed inside silver outlines. I didn't dare to touch them and just recognized Romano (pouting) and Feliciano (smiling) from afar. In some of the frames a large man smiled with Feliciano, his hands around both of the younger men, and noticed the similarity he had with Romano. If only Romano would smile like that too...

Suddenly something hit me from behind and I turned to look at the towel that was thrown at me. Romano scowled from the doorway, already dressed into dry clothes and disappeared again into another room.

I smiled and started to dry myself. It was then I noticed a guitar lying on the floor, almost hid behind the couch. It had been years since I last touched a guitar and imagine my joy when the possibility of playing one again was just an inch away from my grip. I couldn't resist and took it in my hands. I sat down on the cold marble floor and touched one of the strings. I used to play a lot in High School, that was how I got the girls, and I had missed so much playing that when I started playing one of Paco de Lucia's songs I almost forgot where I was. I stopped after a few notes and concentrated hard to remember some songs I knew.

My fingers started to play on their own Alucinado, by Tiziano Ferro, and after a moment I started to sing softly with the music:

_"Perdona si te amo y si nos encontramos  
hace un mes o poco más.  
Perdona si no te hablo bajo, si no lo grito, muero.  
__Te he dicho ya que te -!"_

"That's an Italian song, you know…"

Romano's voice woke me up and I suddenly stopped, looking up at him quite startled. He was leaning against the doorframe and had a strange look upon his face. I smiled at him:

"Yes, I know..." I looked back at the guitar and started playing Paco de Lucia again, then I said: "Do you play often?" I smiled to him, he just scoffed.

"That's my idiotic father's..." he said, "I don't know how to play that damned thing..."

"I can teach you if you want!"

"Like hell!" Romano shouted and disappeared inside again in what I later discovered was the kitchen. "Like hell I let a bastard like you teach me to fucking play!" he continued. I laughed a little and decided to replace the guitar where I first found it. I rubbed my hair with the towel again and looked over the window to see if it was still raining. It didn't seem it was going to end soon... and I was so hungry!

"So? Are you fucking coming or not?" Romano shouted from the kitchen.

"Where?" I asked, confused. Where are we going?

"In the kitchen, idiot!" Romano's head suddenly appeared from behind the doorframe. "Don't you want to eat?"

"You prepared for me too?"

"O-of... of c-course not!" Romano shouted, blushing, "It's a pain in the ass but I can't... well, dammit! Starve for all I care!"

"Thank you, Romano!" I smiled and stood up. He watched every movement of mine, I supposed because he didn't want to see his couches get drenched by accident, and made my way to the kitchen. He crossed his arms over his chest and I was surprised to see he really had prepared the table for two: there was a plate of pasta with tomatoes waiting for me and the thought was so sweet that if I didn't know any better I would have hugged Romano close. Of course I was hungry and the thought of waiting the bus in the rain wasn't so enjoyable, so I didn't say anything. We started to eat. The food was delicious and when I told Romano so, he just cursed at me. He is a strange guy, Romano, but every time he insults me and blush...

...I feel really warm inside...

I shouldn't feel this way, should I?

_Merry Christmas to all of you! :) Here is my Christmas present to all of you! Thank you so much for all the support! :D _


	12. Chapter 10

The thing with dates is that, if you really want to impress the other, you wear your most fancy clothes, try to be handsome and charming, and wander before the mirror at least a dozen of times before you actually decide that you are still not good enough. You surely will find something that is not right and so you change again, and again, and again, until your time is up and you have to leave before it's too late.

To see Francis do that has became some kind of routine for us and it has stopped being funny when we were, like, seventeen or something. But to tell the absolute truth, Francis doesn't wander before the mirror because he is unsure of how he looks, but because he loves too much what he is seeing. But that's not the point…

The point of all of this is that we are used to see Francis act this way.

Not Gilbert.

Confused? We were too.

That day Gilbert had checked himself out all afternoon. He strode from his bedroom to where we were sitting, in the kitchen, then back again in his bedroom, checking himself from time to time in the big mirror in the hall. He had grinned at himself quite a lot, inspecting his teeth, and had given us a fashion show at least fifteen times, much to Ludwig's annoyance, who worked alone downstairs in the bookstore.

At first it was all really amusing and Francis and I thought that Gilbert was having one of his, what we like to call, 'look-how-amazing-I-look' crisis. Then, when we realized that Gilbert wasn't bragging, but that he was, instead, _really_ insecure and anxious about how he looked, things started to get really worrying until they reached the point of being absolutely disturbing.

The reason for all of this? It starts with the letter M. It took (at least to me) a while to realize the point of it all.

"Oh, enough!" Francis finally snapped when Gilbert combed his hair for the… oh, man, I really stopped counting. To see Francis snap at a 'fashion show' means he really couldn't take it anymore and that it's terrifying in itself. "You are amazing and handsome! You are so awesome that I would XXX you right in this moment in front of Antonio. Now… can you please stop?"

"Doing what?" Gilbert suddenly said, finally looking at us and not the mirror. Francis and I shared a look. "I'm not doing anything!"

"You are… er…" I decided to say, "Hmm… Francis?" I looked back at Francis, who sighed.

"Gilbert, it's just a second date…" our blond friend said and Gilbert scowled.

"It's not a date!" then he laughed, "That's ridiculous!" and he glanced at himself in the mirror. Again.

"So… what is it?" I asked then and I clearly saw Gilbert tense at my words. He didn't even turn to look at me.

"He just… called me…" Gilbert said then, "It's nothing special. Why you guys immediately think this is a date?" and laughed again.

Probably because it was but neither of us said it aloud. Nevertheless, the fact that he seemed to act like his annoying self again, actually relieved us immensely.

"You are funny!" Gilbert continued and laughed at us again. He suddenly stopped and checked the clock hanging on one of the walls. "Okay, I'm going!" he grinned at us, "Do I look okay?" he laughed, "Yes, of course… well, bye guys!" and he was out the door in an instant. I listened to Ludwig calling Gilbert's name and yelling at him, before I decided it was my turn to go.

Before I continue I would like to say that Gilbert's behavior was one of the many signs that told us how much our lives where going to change, or, better, how much our lives had already changed. Of course I totally ignored the signs, didn't notice them even, and that, maybe, is one of the worst things I could have done.

We really thought that we could never change.

Anyway, as I was saying, after Gilbert ran away to meet Mr. M., I decided it was my turn to go. I stood up and put on my jacket. I was going to Romano.

Obviously.

"You are going to the Nightwave?" Francis suddenly said. I looked up at him and smiled:

"Do you want to come?" I asked. Francis nodded at me and put on his own jacket: another sign that I ignored.

Since the "little talk" with Romano, Alfred decided that I was free to come and go to the Nightwave whenever I pleased. The bodyguards would let me in (and my friends, if I had company) totally for free. I couldn't understand Alfred's generosity but, as long as I could see Romano, I was fine with it. Nevertheless I always hoped for a moment alone with Romano, like that day in the rain. I really cherished a moment without nosy people around: Alfred would always be in the front line, watching us with that knowing look in his face and it was starting to get on my nerves. God knows how many times I wondered the streets near my kindergarten, dreaming about bumping into Romano by chance (and wishing to go to his cute apartment again). I'm not going to analyze all the times and the different scenarios I thought in my head about how I was going to meet Romano and what I was going to say to him. I'm not going to describe the disappointment when my wishes didn't come true and I must say that, for a period of time, I really thought that Romano had changed address just to spite me. At the time I really couldn't put it past him, really, but of course, when I started to know him better, I realized that all my fears were unfounded: Romano was too lazy to do something as difficult as moving out.

An hour later, Francis and I reached the club and, as soon as we were in, we parted ways: I went to find Romano while Francis disappeared into his favorite spot in the crowd.

I found Romano immediately: he was sitting down, texting away with his cell phone, gulping down orange juice in the same fashion he had done when he first met. I smiled at the sight and sat down nonchalantly beside him. He didn't seem to notice me (I'm such a hopeless romantic, the truth is he downright ignored me) and so I exclaimed:

"Hello!" and caressed that strange curl, that the Vargas brothers seemed to have in common, to get his attention.

"Chigiii!" he suddenly exclaimed, spitting half his orange juice on the floor. "What the hell, bastard? Don't do that EVER again! Did you understand, Spanish idiot! The nerve with…" he continued swearing half in Italian, half in English, and I immediately raised my hands in surrender, exclaiming:

"I'm sorry!" over and over again. With Romano's behavior my curiosity on that curl seemed to increase, though, and I wondered what exactly I have done. Judging by how red he was and how angry he was looking at me, I supposed it wasn't something pleasurable. I decided that I should try again, maybe some other time and preferably in a place where there weren't blunt objects around.

A moment later he seemed to calm down and put his phone abruptly away. Was it the right time for me to speak? You never know when dealing with Romano, but I love taking risks so I said:

"How was your day?"

"Good until you came…" Romano spat and threatened Alfred to bring him another glass of juice or else…

Alfred shouted a really loud "Okay!" and waved enthusiastically at me before Romano returned his lack of attention to me.

"So…" I started again.

"You have a lot of free time, don't you?", Romano scowled at me.

"Not really…." I said smiling at him.

"Then why are you _every evening_ here?" Romano said and grabbed the drink from Alfred's hands.

"Hi, mate!" Alfred shouted grinned at me, "Do you want something to drink too?"

"Yes, please!" I smiled at Alfred, who gave me the thumbs up, and I watched him go before I answered Romano's question: "I always have time for you!"

"Oh, joy!" Romano said and rolled his eyes.

"I really enjoy staying with you…" I continued and smiled at him again. Do you know how difficult is for me not to stand up and hug Romano to death when he looked so cute, pouting like that? Do you understand how incapacitated I've been feeling?

"I could puke right now…" Romano said and started drinking his juice again. I thanked Alfred who handed me my drink before bent over to hear what the client next to me wanted. I stared at the glass in my hands. Judging by the smell it was some kind of cocktail with tomato juice. Who told Alfred I love that?

"Don't you have anyone else to fucking bother? Some kid?" Romano suddenly said and I stared at him.

"What kid?" I asked. "Why should I bother kids?"

"God, you are so damn stupid…" Romano rolled his eyes again at me, "Isn't that your job?" he asked then grimaced: "Why would you choose a job like that? No, I'm sorry, I should ask why would someone hire _you_?"

"Because I'm good in what I do." I answered simply, "I love what I do. It always had been my dream being surrounded by children…" I took a sip of my drink, it was delicious. "Say, Romano! What was your dream?" I smiled.

Romano stared at me with wide eyes, taken aback at what I said.

"My d-dream?" he stuttered. "Why should you care, damned bastard?"

"Well… have you always wanted to be a barman?" I asked casually.

"No one wants to be a fucking barman!" Romano exclaimed, "Unless you are Alfred and I'm sure he too is still dreaming of becoming the President of the fucking United States… I, on the other… I… I…", he stopped and started blushing furiously.

"What did you want to be?" I tried to help him. Romano seemed so embarrassed about it and the fact made me really curious. Romano gaped and blushed and the sight was so cute and…

"I… I… damn you, Antonio!" Romano exclaimed again, "I don't want to talk about my fucking life with you!"

"Okay…" I sighed and looked at him: "Do you want me to talk about my life so we are even?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Of course not! Well, I was born in…"

"Oh, fuck, he is serious!" Romano panicked. I laughed.

"I'm kidding!" I said, "Did you know that I wore my hair into a low ponytail in High School?"

"I bet you looked like an ass…" Romano said and I was happy to see he had stopped shaking in panic.

"I thought it was cool…" I said, "Now your turn…"

"Bastard…" Romano grimaced again. "I so hate you!", he blushed again, "Well, I always wanted to run a restaurant, happy now?" he exclaimed and crossed his arms before his chest.

"A restaurant?"

"I know, it's stupid, okay!" he shouted at me and scowled even more.

"No, it's not. Your food is really delicious. Why haven't you…" but before I could finish my sentence he spat:

"Because it's stupid, bastard! I don't have that much money and as, my father implies, I'm not good enough to do anything on my own. That's why! So I'm stuck here, listening to horny bastards like you all night and taking orders from an idiot with a hero-complex and a big ego. I- I…" he stopped, "I don't deserve anything better, anyway…" he suddenly became sad.

I was surprised by his words but before I could say anything, he continued:

"But I still hope, you know… that one day… maybe…" and his lips quirked up a little. It lasted a moment but the sight of Romano smiling (even for a little) at his own thoughts was all I could think about. He was… he was so beautiful when his face was so relaxed and… and…

"You should smile more often" I suddenly said and he stared at me, scowling again.

"What?" he exclaimed.

"You are so beautiful when you smile…" I continued and Romano opened his mouth in surprise at me, then shut it again and looked away from me. It was then that we noticed Feliks sitting in the seat next to Romano, staring at us with an amused look on his face.

"Feliks!" I exclaimed, "Since when…"

"Since Romano asked you why they hired you in the kindergarten!" Feliks grinned, "That was like, totally the cutest scene I have ever seen!"

"You need glasses!" Romano suddenly exclaimed and stood up. "Let's go!"

Feliks stood up, smiled knowingly at me and waved me goodbye. They disappeared a moment later.


	13. Gilbert 2

My damn friends take things too seriously. This time (or any other time he called me) doesn't mean anything and they should trust me not to forget the deal so easily! Like hell this is a fucking date, they should know, do they think I'm that easy? Really, they piss me really off sometimes!

Unless they are jealous I'm hanging out with somebody else that it's not THEM. That must be it. They are super-jealous of the poor boy seeing my awesome face all day long. Ach, I don't understand them, why they don't just admit they want me all for themselves and admire me! The idiots.

Probably Antonio doesn't even get how jealous he is. All he thinks about is that Romano, who isn't cute at all, while his brother is way cuter and cuddle-able. Damn Ludwig, you got him before me, you sly bastard.

I'm rambling again and as much as the things I'm thinking about are really interesting, I'm sure you want me to get on with the story, which is my absolutely-not-a-date with Matthew.

There is nothing to say about it. As I previously said, we just hung out and that lead to a succeeding turn of events that eventually led to my tragedy. He called me to meet me somewhere in the centre, where the best cafeterias are. I made my presence known, as always. That's all. What? You want more?

You are just like Francis and Antonio!

The appointment was at exactly twelve o'clock. I arrived fashionably late (and that's thanks to my nosy friends) and searched for the cafeteria Matthew talked about. Seriously, the places he chooses sometimes are as invisible as he sometimes is. What I want to say is, I couldn't find it anywhere.

I walked up and down the road at least a dozen of times before I finally recognized blond hairs standing in line in one of the smallest coffee-shops that ever had the pleasure to have me as a client. I felt a little guilty, I probably had been so late that he became bored and went to order without me. Anyway, I decided to approach him.

And I finally realized how strange the scene before me was.

Matthew was standing by the counter, waiting to take his order, but the clerk just kept talking with other clients, totally ignoring Matthew.

"E-excuse me!" I heard Matthew say. I raised an eyebrow. His voice was nothing but a whisper that I practically couldn't hear myself, if it wasn't for the fact I was standing just behind him. Matthew coughed once, then tried again: "E-e-excuse me!"

I decided to interfere.

"Matthew?" I said. He turned to look at me, quite startled, because he had been too concentrated trying to get the clerk's attention. He smiled sheepishly at me.

"Hi!" he said, "I was trying to order some coffees for both of us, seeing how late you were…"

"Sorry about that." I said then I tilted my head, "It was a great idea but… what are you doing?"

Matthew seemed taken aback and raised a blond eyebrow at me.

"Ordering?" he said. "Actually, I've been trying to get his attention…" he pointed at the clerk, "…for half an hour now, but he is so busy…"

"Bullshit." I stated, "He is just ignoring you..."

"People tend to do that a lot…" he said, looking down and looking really disappointed at the world. I grinned and slapped him on the back.

"Don't worry about that!" I said, "If someone is ignoring you, you should keep bother them until you get their attention! Slap them if it that what it takes!"

"But that's impolite!" Matthew exclaimed.

"You have to shout, raise that voice!" I continued, "If you keep letting them walk all over you, you'll never have the strength to stand up for yourself! Now!" I exclaimed, "Look at the master in action!"

"Gilbert, maybe…" Matthew said and he put a hand on my shoulder, trying to stop me. I just thumbed up at him and then I punched the counter really hard. Matthew was startled by the gesture, as probably most of the shop was.

"Excuse me!" I shouted and the clerk turned abruptly to me. "This guy is trying to order but you keep looking away! Where's your boss?"

The clerk widened his eyes, then looked at Matthew behind me, who was red for embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, sir, I just couldn't hear you!" the clerk said. "What can I do for you?"

I looked at Matthew: "See? It's easy!" I said, "Now, let's just go…"

"Go where?" Matthew said and I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the coffee shop. I looked back and laughed at the mess I left behind. All my shouting had got the boss of the coffee-shop to get out of the kitchen to see what all the fuss was about and I presumed he was shouting at the clerk for losing two clients. Poor guy.

That was fun.

"Okay, Matthew…" I said, "Now it's your turn!"

"My what?" he shouted, his eyes wide as saucers.

"What are you scared of?" I said, "Do you like that restaurant?", I pointed at a place just down the road with a big "Bon appétit" sign over it.

"Yes, it's nice…" he said, "But what…"

I pulled him and the sudden movement made him almost fall. Maybe I was too hard on the guy, but it wasn't the first time I saw him in such a tight situation, and I wanted to help him get over it. A moment later we stood before the restaurant and Matthew stared at me.

"Okay, I'll stand near the door…" I explained, "You go get a table for both of us!"

"Eh?" he said, "And what are you going to do?"

"I'll wait for you to find a table and then I'll come. Go!" and I pushed him inside. Matthew started weirdly at me then sighed as I moved to stand in a corner.

"I'll get back for this!" he whispered.

"I'll be waiting…" I grinned. He sighed and walked near one of the waiters, who promptly ignored Matthew's presence. Matthew looked at me then at the waiter and said:

"I'm sorry, sir…

And what do you think the waiter did? Nothing! Matthew was just too silent. Matthew looked at me again, I just stared at the painting on the wall.

"I'm sorry!" he said a little louder. The waiter still kept setting one of the tables. Matthew became slightly red, then sighed, and suddenly exclaimed: "Excuse me!"

The waiter turned to look at Matthew and smiled.

"Good day, sir…" he said, "What may I do for you?"

"A table for two, please!" Matthew said and I could see him smiling widely.

"Of course!" the waiter said, "Just follow me..."

I took my clue and stood beside Matthew, who seemed still too shocked someone had heard him. He looked at me, grinning like a madman. He was too cute for his own good, I smiled back at me and said:

"It's on me!"

He immediately tried to retort. I just put an arm around him and went to sit on the table the waiter had prepared for us.

Matthew has such a nice voice but he is afraid of using it. I know that many are not as lucky as me and don't have that something I have, but I keep telling him that he should speak, even when his voice is trembling, if there is something he doesn't like, he should just say so. Matthew says that he tries that with me too, but that I'm still too stubborn to listen to him. That is not true. I do listen, but its really fun teasing him. I sometimes think he knows.

Anyway, that was the first one of many absolutely-not-a-date with him. We ate, had a great time together, and he really knows the best jokes on earth. Only he is embarrassed to tell them, which is stupid. Then I accompanied home, a really tiny apartment not far from where we had lunch.

There isn't much to say. There are no words to describe how great it felt to stand near him. He searched his home's keys in his pocket, smiled at me, and I told him that I couldn't wait to go out again. He just smiled and told me that he should probably stop spending time with such corrupting company.

I failed shock.

"I paid the bill!"

"It was the last thing you could have done!" he said, "That coffee place was my favorite and now I can't go there without feeling embarrassed anymore!"

"Admit you never did drink a coffee from there!" I said. He laughed.

"I never managed to go further than 'excuse me'…"

I smiled.

"You see with me you'll finally manage to make a whole speech publicly!"

"I would like to see that…" Matthew said.

"I will be in the first line…" I said, "I'll be the one with the big flag with your name on it!"

"I count on it!" he said and kissed me on the cheek. Then he bided me goodnight and disappeared inside.

I just stared at the door.


	14. Francis 2

I couldn't stop staring at them.

They were so cute, what with Antonio trying with all his might to start a conversation and Romano stuttering, blushing, swearing and all that jazz.

Because of the loud music in the Nightwave, I really couldn't hear a word they were saying and I was so put off by this that I couldn't even enjoy my drink. I stopped dancing hours before and my pockets were filled with telephone numbers written on little piece of papers but I didn't want to go home just yet.

Well, I wanted to but I couldn't. Antonio driving being one of the reasons.

I was sitting some barstools away from Antonio and Romano but they were so caught up in their conversation that they didn't notice me and neither did they notice Feliks, if the amused smile on the blonde's face was of any indication.

You may think I was stalking them but I'm not. I just like watching.

"Stop staring at them…"

I sighed in frustration and turned to look at Arthur, who was playing with his empty glass of whisky. He looked around, presumably searching for someone to fill his drink, then he looked at me, his mocking face getting to my nerves.

"You have been staring at them for an hour now…" he said, his voice slightly slurring, "Are you jealous?" he asked then, his big eyebrows up in the air.

"Of course not…" I said, "I'm just happy for Antonio…" then I smirked, "See? Your little advice with the ropes didn't work out in the end! I told you Antonio would get him…"

"Romano doesn't even care about him…" Arthur scoffed, "Antonio is just too dense…"

"Where did you get the ropes anyway?" I asked, suddenly curious. Arthur snorted and stared right at me but didn't answer. "You always act the gentleman but I always knew you were perverted, _Rosbif_…" I said then, smirking down at Arthur. "I wonder who you used them with before giving them to naïve Romano…"

"Your mind is so dirty…" Arthur said instead, "What do you have in there? Porno books?" he snorted. "Besides, the real perverted one is you. What with your staring at your friend flirting…"

"Are you jealous?" I said in the same tone he used on me before. Arthur frowned at me.

"I will never be jealous of an ugly beast like you!" he said, "I'm just concerned about Antonio because, knowing you, you may be planning stealing his Romano or something!"

"I would never do that!" I exclaimed. Arthur raised his eyebrows at me:

"You did it with me!"

"That was an accident!" I said and suddenly I remembered Victoria, the sweet girl from Seychelles that Arthur used to date for a period in High School. "She kissed me first!"

"Of course…" he mocked, "And then she just tripped into your bed!"

"I thought we were over it…" I said, "I was drunk! You know how I am when drunk!" I then continued: "But to tell you the absolute truth it was she who came to me, complaining about how lousy you were in bed!"

"Oh, yeah?" Arthur said, "And what about my brother? Was he too complaining about how lousy I was in bed?"

"That…" I pointed at him, "That…" I stopped. "When did that happened?"

Arthur stared at me, opened mouthed.

"You can't be serious!" he exclaimed, "How much of a bastard can you be? You just wanted to hurt me?"

I started remembering. Oh, yeah. Date: Last day of High School. Cause: the Bad Touch Trio decided to party hard and somehow Arthur's older brother decided to come with us… how that happened? Oh, yeah, now I remember. We were so drunk that we decided to visit Arthur and play a trick on him. His older brother opened the door, though, and not letting the chance of a drink go, he joined us.

And then… oh, yeah.

"William was drunk…" I said.

"William is always drunk." he just stated.

"So why you keep blaming me?" I exclaimed. Arthur frowned again at me and suddenly he looked really disappointed. I looked down at my half finished drink and sighed:

"I'm sorry about that…" I said. Arthur just shrugged and suddenly I felt really guilty, not that I will ever admit it out loud. Arthur just stared down and run a finger around the mouth of his glass.

"Why since we were kids we end up fighting?" I sighed. I thought I had whispered it but Arthur suddenly said:

"I shouldn't have brought it up…"

"They were just accidents…" I said then. I meant it but Arthur just waved his hand and said:

"Alright, alright!" clearly not believing a word I said. I groaned. Arthur is so difficult to bear and I really thought he would have at least, matured, since we parted ways but no! He never forgets! Stupid elephant memory of his. I can't stand him.

"Why don't you remember anything happy?" I decided to say then. Arthur looked up at me.

"My memories are never happy if you are the central character!" he said.

"You think my memories of you are any better?" I spat back, suddenly annoyed by his ways. "Remember that day when you almost burned my hair in Chemistry class?"

Arthur tried to remain stern but his lips quivered up just a little.

"Remember that Indian girl?"

Arthur was smiling openly now.

"And that project we had to do together?"

"How could I forget…" Arthur said and suddenly giggled. "I still have that bloody scar on my elbow..."

I suddenly started to laugh quietly myself. It always went like that, since we were little kids when we were still neighbors. Oh, were they fun times. I suddenly felt like home, like I never did for the past couple of years.

"Can we move on now?" Arthur suddenly asked, "I got the point."

"Yes, of course…" I said, gulped down the rest of my drink then took the little pieces of papers from out my pockets. Arthur stared at me.

"What are those?"

"These are telephone numbers!" I explained, grinning, "Everybody wants me! It's a feeling you'll never understand! Now…" I took one between my fingers, "…who should I call?"

"Can't you do that at home?" Arthur suddenly groaned. "It gets on my nerves!"

"It's not my fault you are so repressed and besides…" I said, "…I can't leave until he's leaving…" and I pointed with my thumb at Antonio, still talking with Romano. Arthur groaned again.

"Why you keep torturing me…" he murmured and then he said louder: "Where's Alfred when you want him? My glass is still empty!"

I didn't listen to him. Should I call that brunet guy? He was okay and seemed he needed a good lay. Or that blonde woman? She seemed experienced. That other's girl's number, I'll just throw it away. They could put me in jail if I even tried… And this number? Who's Darla?

"Hey, guys!" suddenly Alfred exclaimed, "Sorry for the delay! The club is really busy tonight!"

I looked up at the grinning man and then I looked beside me, where Arthur was sitting. He started biting his lips and looked really uncomfortable. I forgot about all the persons I wanted to call because _that_ was a scene I never saw before.

"Like hell you are busy!" Arthur suddenly exclaimed, "J-just fill this, git!"

I stared as Alfred started to laugh and nod his head off and Arthur blushing and swearing at Alfred at the same time.

I suddenly felt strange.

Because I knew that look. Oh, I saw that look on Arthur's face many times.

And the fact was really making me uncomfortable, as if someone had punched me in the guts. I looked at Alfred who filled Arthur's drink and then at Arthur then back at Alfred.

I'm not as dense as Antonio is. I know myself very much and I recognize that feeling very well.

Too well.

…

Oh, shit.


	15. Chapter 11

You probably thought, from the way I talk about it, that my job is all sunshine and roses. Don't get me wrong, _it is_ but there are some things that make me rethink my choices in life. Probably I'm being melodramatic and I must admit that these feelings don't last long. As soon as a kid smiles to me, I feel happy again.

But it's true. Working with kids sometimes is really painful. It becomes impossible when that kid is sick.

Yes, you heard right.

Sick. I don't understand how some mothers keep taking their kids to school when they feel so ill they can't even stand. The problem is that I have to take care of them and neglect others who may need me and in all this neglecting and taking care, in the end I'm the next one to…

_ACHOO!_

Sorry about that. You got the point right?

That is why I had been staying in bed for a week. I hate being ill because: 1) I can do anything else but stare at the white ceiling above me, 2) I feel guilty because I left Lilly all alone, 3) I can't have fun and my friends keep bothering me, and most importantly, 4) I can't see Romano! Number 4 is the most important.

_ACHOO!_

Sorry again. That had been going on for a week. My head was killing me, my stomach too, my nose was runny, I had a fever, I was cold and then I was hot, all in all a real mess. And to make matters worse my friends kept visiting me.

You probably think I should feel glad about it. Yeah, I was… the first few times. Then it started getting on my nerves. First of all, Gilbert tried to help me once and in the end I had to leave the comforts of my bed to go help him put out the fire in the kitchen. Francis, on the other, kept talking about some problem of his I couldn't really focus on because I was too lost in my own world to care. That and he always made me jump because his hands were too cold when he slid them into my pajamas.

So, my heart skipped a beat when I heard the doorbell ring that morning. I groaned and with a lot of courage I managed to stand up, put a blanket over my shoulders and started walking towards the door. Whoever was on the other side was edgy, though, and started knocking impatiently on the door.

"I'm coming!" I managed to say between coughs and then I opened the door, ready to politely tell the other to just fuck off. Imagine how wide my eyes went when I saw Romano (ROMANITO~) standing on the other side, pout on place, arms crossed over his chest, staring at me like I was some kind of alien. I stared at him for a while, truly believing he was a hallucination provoked by the fever.

I probably died. I thought. I probably died and went to heaven.

But my angel didn't think so too:

"Oh, so you are alive…" he said looking disappointed.

"Romano!" I greeted.

"Don't look so happy…" he said, "I just came here to make sure you were dead. You're not so… goodbye!" and he abruptly turned around to leave. I grabbed his shoulder before he could make another step away from me.

"I didn't expect to see you here!" I said, covering my mouth with the blanket, because it would be awful if Romano got sick too. "I'm quite ill and that's why I didn't come to the Nightwave these days…"

"I told you that's _not_ the reason I came here!" Romano exclaimed, turning to look at me again. He scannered me with his eyes, from head to toe, then he raised his eyebrows at me at the sight of my feet. "You are sick and you go around barefoot?" he suddenly shouted, angry. I laughed, guilty.

"I didn't have the time…" I tried to explain and suddenly I felt Romano pushing me roughly back into the apartment. The sudden movement made me go into a coughing fit and I looked away from Romano. I knew he was staring at me and probably was happy to see me so vulnerable. I didn't care, really, and as soon as I stopped coughing, I smiled at him.

"Sorry, Romano…" I said, "I would like to offer you something but I can't even stand…" and, slowly, I moved back into my room. Romano followed me, I could feel his eyes piercing my skull as I returned into my warm bed, the blanket still on my shoulders.

"I can take care of myself, bastard…" he whispered and I wanted to laugh. Romano left my room and started wandering in my apartment. "Your apartment is really ugly! I knew you were a pig but to actually live as one…" I heard him say. I decided to explain Gilbert's cleaning techniques to him another time…

I just nuzzled further into my sheets and closed my eyes. Romano's footsteps in the other rooms soothed me and I didn't worry about him stealing something or messing the apartment up. Feeling real peaceful for once I fell asleep.

I woke up to singing softly in Italian. I recognized the language immediately and I blinked away sleep, staring at the open door of my room. It took me a while to remember that Romano had come to visit me and another amount of time to realize that I felt slightly better than before.

I checked out my fever (didn't have one) and slowly I decided to stand up, wondering how much I had slept and why Romano was still with me. I made the slightest noise I could and walked to where I heard the voice coming from. Romano was in the kitchen, stirring something in a pot, softly singing to himself.

Romano singed beautifully and I stared at him for a while, listening to him, when suddenly Romano noticed my presence, turned abruptly around and almost dropped everything, startled. Romano started blushing and coughing in embarrassment.

"You are finally up, _bastard_!" he shouted, looking away, hiding his face from me. "I rummaged around all this damned place for something eatable and I had to go to the fucking supermarket to… to…" he stuttered when he looked back at me, "Stop staring at me, dammit! It makes me sick!"

"You have a beautiful voice…" I said instead. He closed his mouth shut, his eyes went wide as saucers and then started blushing. Romano tried to cover his face, turned around and turned off the heat from under the pot. "You cooked for me?" I asked then, suddenly feeling very warm inside.

"No, idiot!" he shouted and then: "I told you I was fucking hungry! And my house is so fucking…!"

I stopped listening to him and concentrated on the fuming pot.

It was then that I realized that I was feeling hungry too. I still had a runny nose but I definitely felt a lot better. Was it thanks to Romano presence?

"Before you ask, it's tomato soup…" Romano said. I looked at him and he started blushing again. It was so cute and it made me smile wide. I approached him and he made a step back.

"Thank you…" I said then, really grateful. Romano's mouth opened a little, then he furrowed his eyebrows and _hmph_-ed at me.

"I didn't do it for you, damnit!" he exclaimed, "In fact, you should have understood already how much I hate you! I don't want to get fucking shit so… I'm leaving!", he shouted and grabbed his coat that he had put on one of the kitchen's chairs and pushed me away to get to the door. He still was too slow and I managed to grab his arm before he could flee and said, confused:

"Weren't you hungry?"

He slapped my hand away then he stared at me. He seemed in deep thought for a moment, probably thinking if he should stay or not when suddenly he made up his mind:

"I hoped to eat when you were still sleeping!" he exclaimed but then he moved back into the kitchen, dropped the coat back on the chair and started rummaging around the cupboards for some plates. I chuckled to myself and for the second time since we met, we had lunch together.

We ate in silence for some moments. I ate more than two bowls of soup and I was surprised to see how hungry I actually was.

"You really should become a cook…" I complimented him sometime to break the silence. He just _huff_-ed at me but I could see he was proud of himself.

"This kind of words will not get me in bed with you!" Romano exclaimed then, I laughed a little to myself.

"That's not what I meant…" I said but Romano didn't seem to believe me. I stood up and started washing the dishes. The blanket I had on my shoulders fell down and I heard Romano bend to pick it up and put it on one of the chairs.

"I don't trust you…" Romano just said behind me. "For all I know you could be a sex maniac…"

"That's not me…" I chuckled to myself, "What if we go out all together to prove you I'm perfectly normal?" I asked. Then I remembered Romano singing and grinned: "When I feel better we should go karaoke-ing together!" I said enthusiastically.

That made him choke on his own spit and he started coughing. I turned around to him, worried, but Romano immediately regained composure and stared at me, disbelieving:

"I won't go anywhere with you!" he shouted, "Especially karoke—" he groaned and run a hand through his hair. "Is that your idea for a d-date?" he stuttered.

"I never said it would be a date!" I reasoned. That made him blush even more and swore at me.

"You are fucking mad!" he exclaimed, "_Mad_!"

I just laughed.

Mad about you, something inside me completed, but I immediately pushed the dangerous thought away.


	16. Chapter 12

Mine was a simple question:

"I'm thinking of taking Romano to the Karaoke Bar… Want to come?"

This is what Francis answered me:

"Oh, what a splendid idea! We've had to go there since…"

This is what Gilbert answered me:

"Awesome! I remember the last time we went like yesterday…"

This is what in the end they both told me:

"…but I already have plans!"

They said it in unison, both glancing at each other with the corner of their eyes, and for a moment I wondered if they had something in mind, before ignoring my first suspicions (which were ridiculous) and smiled at them.

"It's okay", I said. They grinned at me. I smiled back. There was nothing strange with them having plans. Probably Francis had found someone to spend the night with, while Gilbert probably would go on another date with… what was his name again?

"Matthew! Christ, Antonio, why don't you ever remember?... And we are _not_ dating!"

It didn't matter. My problem wasn't whether my friends wanted to come or not. It really wasn't going to be the end of the world if he weren't together for once. The real problem was something much more complicated.

How I'll manage to convince Romano to even come with me?

"The easiest solution would be kidnapping him!" Gilbert said then and started to laugh at his own joke. I raised an eyebrow:

"Isn't that illegal?" I asked. Gilbert stared at me for a long moment before he burst out laughing again. Francis tsk-ed at him but I could see he was trying hard not to laugh too, which meant there was a joke going on I didn't comprehend.

I ignored it.

"So? Aren't you going to help me out with this?" I asked, feeling a little neglected as Gilbert's phone started ringing. I watched Gilbert stand up and make his way to the kitchen to answer his cell phone before I looked back at Francis again.

"So?" I asked again. He smiled at me.

"Oh, Antonio dear. You probably already know the answer…"

I sighed. Francis likes to use this kind of answers, the kind where you are more confused than enlightened. I'm sure he likes the face of utter confusion on the other's face when he says things like that.

Sadist.

"Are you still in contact with Feliciano?" he asked with a sigh, unexpectedly. I blinked a little, then, suddenly, I felt the light bulb in my head switch on.

"Of course!" I exclaimed and hugged Francis before taking my phone out my pocket to call Romano's brother.

So things went something like this: I called Feliciano, we chit-chatted for a whole hour, before I remembered my plan and explained it to him. He agreed and told me he was going to take care of it.

So he told Romano, who complained about it, and Feliciano called reinforcements (Feliks) to help him out.

The final result was that, when I waited for the Vargas brothers before the karaoke-bar, thinking that we were going to be just the three of us, I saw five people approaching me.

Feliciano was the first to wave animatedly at me. He grinned and I smiled back, spreading my arms wide for the hug he surely was going to give me (if it wasn't for Romano, who kicked his brother before we came too near to me).

"Romano! That isn't nice!" I pouted but inside I was happy to see he had come.

"And since when you are allowed to say whether something I do is nice or not!" Romano shouted at me, crossing his arms. Feliciano laughed a little and put a hand on his brother's shoulder:

"Don't mind him…" Feliciano said, "He's just shy!"

"Shy?" Romano exclaimed, outraged. "SHY?"

"And I guess you know Ludwig!" Feliciano giggled, cutting his brother's soon-to-come rant in the middle. I looked up from the two and finally noticed Gilbert's brother, standing behind Feliciano with a look of someone who really didn't want to be there.

"Ludwig!" I greeted and smiled at him. "I didn't expect to see you here! How nice!"

I really was glad that Ludwig had come. If Romano even tried to kill me, Ludwig will surely have the power to pull him away from my throat before it was too late. It was all a matter of self-preservation.

"Hello, Antonio…" he greeted, then: "Feliciano is…" Ludwig searched for the right word, "…really persuasive…" and then shared a look with the younger Italian, who giggled.

"And Feliks!" I turned to the other couple talking animatedly behind Ludwig. "How are you?"

Feliks turned to look at me and smiled before grabbing his partner's shoulder and almost threw him into my arms.

"Hello to you, Antonio!" he said, "This is Toris!" and I looked at the boy with the chestnut hair, throwing murderous looks in Feliks' direction. The blonde promptly ignored them, though and shook his hands nonchalantly.

"Hi, I'm Antonio…" I said, taking matters into my hands. Toris finally looked away from Feliks and turned to me, smiling shyly.

"Hello, I'm…" Toris started to say.

"He's like, my _maid_!" Feliks exclaimed, ignoring the way Toris yelled the blonde's name at the statement. "He does everything for me! Cook, clean, iron… it's really cool! And he's, like, totally cheap so if you ever…"

"Feliks stop lying!" Toris shouted again, turning red. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment, I couldn't understand. Feliks just laughed into Toris face and they started bickering, if I could call _that_ bickering…

And this is how I met Feliks' boyfriend.

Toris Lorinaitis is the average man: chestnut hair, chestnut eyes, average height and average job. Nevertheless, I want to consider him as kind of a hero. After all he is Feliks' boyfriend, a fact I'll never comprehend.

Feliks always teases him and always ignores Toris' protests. I once asked him how he manages:

"You just need a lot of patience…" he said.

He has a lot, which is a point in his favor.

The problem is he worries quite a lot and pretty much about everything. With a guy like Feliks around, I don't think it will help him a lot with his sanity. But till now, Toris is doing just fine.

I really wonder how he does that.

The truth is that, when Feliks described me his boyfriend the first time, I imagined someone who could put the bubbly blonde in his place at all times. I imagined someone with a lot of muscles and a serious face, something like Ludwig, for example, so I was kind of shocked to see this man with the shy smile, who just let all the means things Feliks said go.

The one wearing the pants in the relationship (at least at first sight) is Feliks, which is kind of ironic actually. Feliks has Toris wrapped around his finger.

It took me a while to realize that it was the other way around.

Nevertheless, I liked Toris immediately.

My attention that night, though, was only for Romano. It was for him I wanted to go to the Karaoke Bar and so I left the two couples in their own world and turned to look at Romano, totally ignoring the scowl he was giving me (and everybody else).

"Should we go?" Feliciano said grabbing my arm with one hand and Romano's arm with the other. I heard Feliks' voice in the background saying something to me but I couldn't stop gazing at Romano. He seemed to realize I was staring though and soon enough he turned away from me, muttering something obscene.

We made our way inside and they accompanied us to a little room just for us. We ordered something to drink and eat. Feliciano let go of my arm to go to Ludwig instead, holding a leaflet with songs they could sing that night. I stared at Romano.

Romano stared at me.

Really, that night I could do nothing but stare. Not good.

"What are you looking at, dumbass?" he said. I smiled and then took another leaflet and took my opportunity to talk:

"We should sing something together!" I exclaimed and grinned.

"I am _not_ singing!" Romano shouted.

"Why did you come here for, then?" Feliks suddenly asked and Romano shot a murderous look at him. Feliks smirked and Romano blushed.

"_You_ dare ask?" Romano spat and suddenly pointed at Ludwig, "It's his entire fault!"

"What did I do now?" Ludwig sighed, looking up from Feliciano, who was still talking about songs.

"You are dating my brother and I have to keep an eye on you!" Romano said, "I don't…."

"You are dating Feliciano?" I suddenly asked, cutting Romano in the middle. I could feel him fuming beside me. "When? How…"

Ludwig suddenly became red and looked away from us. I was astounded to hear the news and my eyes went from Feliciano to Ludwig then back to Feliciano in surprise. Gilbert had never told me… did that meant Gilbert didn't know?

Oh.

Gilbert was going to be really… entertained, to say the least. He isn't going to stop teasing Ludwig about it, if he knew. Ok. I'm not going to tell him… yet.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door: our drinks and food had arrived, and Ludwig let out a sigh of relieve. You know what they say: saved by the bell. In a moment I forgot about Ludwig's love life.

"Ok! Toris we should, like, get this party started!" Feliks shouted and suddenly took Toris' hand and dragged him were the television set was.

"I don't know about this…" Toris started, trying to pull away from Feliks.

"Oh, don't be a spoilsport!" Feliks whined and took the microphone in his hand. Toris stared at his own for a while, then he sighed and gave up.

"What should we sing then?" Toris asked and Feliks beamed.

And so our crazy party started.

It was a fantastic night, though. Feliks was a little out of tune while we couldn't hear Toris' voice at all, but it was fun anyway. Feliciano then started singing with Feliks and after some beers he managed to convince Ludwig to stand up and sing with them. When I told Gilbert this, he was so disappointed he hadn't come with us and swore he was going to bring his camera next time.

I don't think I'll ever be that lucky again, though.

Anyway, Feliciano is really a persuasive guy, as Ludwig had said, and managed to make Romano sing with him. They sang an Italian song without music and I remained fascinated by them. I loved the way they sang. I love Romano's voice especially.

But I still wasn't happy.

I wanted Romano to sing with me too.

"Come on, Romano~" I said, "We are here to have fun! Stop brooding and sing with me!"

"I'm not going to do _anything_ with _you_!" he exclaimed and crossed his arms against his chest. I took his hand and, together with Feliciano, we started pulling.

"You should totally sing "Heartbeat" by Enrique Iglesias!" Feliks suddenly shouted from where he was sitting with Toris and Feliciano nodded. I smiled at Romano. I didn't care about the song as long as I discovered how our voices were like when we sing in unison.

You know what they say… hopeless dreams. I am full with them.

"Come on, you have a very beautiful voice!" I tried again.

He stared at me, stuttered something and started blushing.

"Bullshit!" he screamed. "Let me go, bastard! I'm not…!"

"Just once?" I asked with a smile, "Please?"

"No, dammit!"

"Pretty please?" I tried again.

"Oh, come on Romano, the man is begging for it!" Feliks giggled. Romano blushed even harder and suddenly he stood up. I stopped pulling, hoping he was finally going to sing something with me.

"I'm going home!" he shouted instead and I sighed in defeat.

"Here's the microphone!" Feliciano suddenly said and pushed Romano into my arms. I smiled down at him and, not letting the opportunity go, pulled him near the television set. The music started playing and as soon as I recognized the song, I started singing. I kept looking at him straight in the eyes, to make him understand there was nothing to be afraid of.

Everyone fell suddenly silent. Everyone (even Ludwig) was staring at us, in expectation. I didn't care about the looks they were giving but I could see Romano didn't really feel at ease.

"I don't want to be the woman…" suddenly Romano said, looking down at the microphone in his hands. I laughed and nodded. I started singing Nicole's lines too but even that way Romano just stared at his microphone.

"I know you can do it!" I whispered in his ears.

Romano suddenly looked up at me as if I had gone crazy. I smiled encouragingly. He sighed and opened his mouth…

Just a sound and one of my dreams was going to become true!

"Go Romano!" Feliciano suddenly exclaimed. Then I did something completely stupid: I grabbed Romano by the waist and pulled him closer to me. The sudden movement shook him out from his thoughts and he tried to preach himself free from me, away from the spotlight.

"No, I can't do it!" he said, "Feliciano, take my place!" he ordered and gave the microphone to his brother. I pouted in disappointment and I tried to pull him back to me.

Romano slapped my hand away, turned abruptly, tripped over a wire and… fell face down on the floor.

"Romano!" I shouted and let go of the mike to his aid. Romano started cursing and immediately stood up, before I could touch him. He made a step but almost kneeled down in pain. "Are you okay?" I asked, putting my hands on his shoulders.

"Let go of me, bastard!" he shook me away and tried to walk to the couch. "It's nothing!"

He plopped down and stared at us. "Go on! Have fun!" he almost ordered. I felt really guilty.

"Are you sure, Romano?" Feliciano asked. Romano waved his hand and that was our clue to stop asking. He seemed happier to just sit there, anyway. I wanted to sit next to him but Feliciano took my hand and pulled me back to our little stage.

I continued singing with Feliciano "Heartbeat", we drank and laughed and the party continued as if nothing had happened.

The accident came back to us when it was our time to go.

Romano was limping.

I stared at him as he winced every time he made a step forwards and suddenly I felt guilty again. It was kind of my fault he tripped, wasn't it? I shouldn't have acted so stupidly. I wanted to ask him if he was okay, tell him I was sorry, but it was Feliciano who first broke the silence:

"Romano? Is everything okay?"

Romano stared at him, hard, then he spat:

"I'm perfectly fine, you idiot! Stop worrying…"

"Can you walk home?" Ludwig suddenly piped in, a apprehensive frown on his face.

"Yeah, you don't look, like, _capable_ of walking right now!" Feliks said.

"Maybe we should accompany you to the hospital…" Toris said then, his anxious-levels back on high. Feliks glanced at his boyfriend and opened his mouth to say something back Romano turned suddenly around and shouted:

"I'm fine!", blushing hard from all the attention. "I can take the fucking bus and walk home as every fucking normal people does! And yeah! I'm sure, Feliciano!" he shouted at his brother, who had opened his mouth to speak.

"I can take the bus with him and accompany him home…" I suddenly said, gaining all the attention. Romano was the first (and only) one to stare at me like I was from another planet. I was used to that look from him anyway, so I continued with a smile: "I'll take care of him!"

"Like hell…!" Romano immediately reacted.

"Maybe I could give you a ride…" Ludwig suddenly said, obviously trying to delay my murder.

"Never!" Romano spat, at which I and Ludwig sighed. "Not in a hundred of years should I…!"

"It's alright, I'll accompany him…" I cut him off. Romano gawked at me and shook his head.

"No!" he whined.

"Call us when you get home!" Toris suddenly said, with a smile. Feliks nodded.

"Thank you, Antonio…" Feliciano said and ignored Romano's sulk at him. I smiled at them all.

"See you then. I had a great time!" I waved at them goodbye. Romano stared at me, trying to cut my head with just the power of the psyche

I ignored him and asked which bus he was taking. After one of Romano's rants, I accompanied him to the bus stop, took the bus with him and got off with him, all the while ignoring his bitching about it. He humph-ed and cursed and insulted me, but I was more worried about his ankle than his tantrums.

The distance from the bus stop to his apartment wasn't much, but it seemed kilometers away because of Romano's limping. When he winced in pain for the millionth time, I couldn't take it anymore and abruptly stopped.

"Just let me give you a piggy ride!" I suddenly said, turning to look at him. He stopped too, stared at me taken aback then angry.

"No!" he furrowed his brows and made a step back. I rolled my eyes. Okay, I had to do it the other way…

So, I moved quickly and taking him by surprise, I lifted him up on my shoulders with a swift move. He yelped in surprise and threw his arms around my shoulders as not to fall. Perfect.

"There you go!" I smiled, victorious. As soon as he realized the position he was in, he immediately tried to get off. I immediately started walking.

"Let me down, dammit!"

"You can't walk, Romano…" I reasoned, ignoring the way he squirmed against my back, trying to get off me. I kept walking ignoring the curses he was throwing at me.

"I order you to let me down, dammit!" he shouted straight in my ears, "I don't need your fucking help, bastard! I can walk perfectly on my own, THANK YOU!"

"Okay…" I sighed and abruptly stopped. I could feel him smirking and suddenly I looked down the road. I remembered we had passed this way the last time (and only time) I've been to Romano's house and… "Dog!"

"What do you mean 'dog'?" Romano said. He was already touching the asphalt with his toes but his hands were still on my shoulders. I didn't look at him, just stared at the not-so-cute stray dog blocking our way, staring at us with his big black eyes.

"Err… I don't think it likes us…" I said as the dog started barking and growling angrily at us. Suddenly it made some offensive steps towards at us, "I _think_ it has rabies…" I said then.

"Let me up! Let me up!" Romano suddenly shouted, trying to get on my back again. I didn't had the time to even comment on what he said and pulled him back on my shoulders, before starting to run really quickly away from the dog.

Note to every one of you: running from an angry dog is _not_ a very good idea. The dog will probably like it and start hunting you. But at the moment, running seemed the perfect solution.

We were lucky though, that dog was the kind of dog that barks but doesn't bite. So, I arrived (panting from exhaustion but I arrived) before Romano's building safe and without a dog behind us.

Romano's arms were still squeezing the life out of me, his legs around my waist and his eyes tightly closed.

"Are we still alive?" he asked and I nodded, still panting.

"Yeah…" I tried to regain my breath. "You can let go of me now…"

"Oh!" he exclaimed, blushed madly and abruptly got off of me. I stretched, sighed and then I looked back at Romano. We stared at each other for a while before we suddenly burst out laughing together. Romano slapped his mouth shut with a hand and I grinned at him, amused at his antics.

"Here's your building…" I said then and he looked to his right, his eyes wide with surprise.

"How did you…" he asked, his voice muffled behind his hand. I laughed a little and gently I moved his mouth away from his face.

"Well, I have a great sense of direction…" I said. He didn't pull his hand away from mine and I savored the way it felt warm against my skin. I wondered how it would feel like to hold that hand every day…

"You were just one lucky bastard…" he said. I shrugged and smiled sheepishly at him. Romano stared at me, straight into my eyes. I studied his features under the street-lamp's light. I smiled at him. I made a step forwards. Romano just studied every movement of mine with those beautiful hazel eyes of his and he didn't move, even when I was so close I could feel his breath against my skin. I wanted to lean down, he was that close, but, suddenly, he softly pulled his hand away from mine and looked away.

"Do you…" his voice cracked and then suddenly he became angry again, "Good night, bastard!" and searched his keys in his pockets. I blinked the surprise away from my eyes and then I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Take good care of your ankle…"

"It has already healed, Spanish idiot!" Romano exclaimed, shrugging my hand away.

"I'm sure…" I smiled.

He opened his door, halted again and dared to look at me one last time.

"Good night…" I said then and nodded at him, before starting to walk away.

Some minutes later I heard the door click shut but I felt like I was finally in.


	17. Chapter 13

**A.N. In this chapter Spain meets Papa Rome! XD I just wanted to tell everybody that, since we don't have a human name, I kept the name Rome. I wanted to call him Cesare or something but I wasn't sure and let go of my idea. Anyway, if you want me to change the name "Rome" and you have another interesting name for this very interesting character please tell me! I'll choose the name that I liked best. On the other, if the majority likes the name "Rome", I'll keep it as it is. Confused yet? I hope not! Please, show forgiveness for my bad grammar! And... enjoy this chapter of Singles! :3**

**[EDIT]: SO, many told me that Julius would be good name for him, while others said that his canon name is Romulus. I've had a hard time deciding but in the end went for the non-canon name. I think it fits better XD**

That week had really been demanding. It's strange just how one day you have nothing better to do and the next you can't even find the time to breath. That week, for example, I had to stay in the Kindergarten more than usual and, moreover, there had been some meetings our boss wanted me and Lilly to take part in. When in the evenings I got finally home, I wasn't in the mood to go out and have fun, which meant I didn't get to see Romano.

For a whole week. It was frustrating.

Furthermore, I kept worrying about his ankle and so, since I didn't have Romano's number, I called once or twice Feliciano to know how he was doing. The news were good, fortunately.

"He is okay…" Feliciano had told me, "The day after, we took him to the hospital for good measure but the doctors said it was nothing serious. They told him not to walk long distances for a day or two and that he will be perfectly fine soon enough." Feliciano made a pause and giggled: "Of course, he still keeps complaining about it even when he is not hurting…"

"That means he is good, right?" I said and he laughed.

After that call, I stopped tormenting myself with Romano's ankle but the guy was constantly on my mind, like some obsession of sorts. I really couldn't stop thinking about him but I knew I was too busy to consider the idea of a night out and so I surrendered to the idea that I wasn't going to see him any time soon.

Fate had another plan in mind, though, and maybe not one I would particularly like.

It was Saturday morning when they knocked on my door. I had just woken up and my senses were still sleeping peacefully. It took me a while to understand what was going on and another while to think about my revenge if on the other side stood either Gilbert or Francis, who knew that Saturday mornings are my "me-time". I dressed slowly and went to open the door, curse ready on my lips.

It was a period of my life that I was always surprised about who stood on the other side of my door, because there was he, a bulky brown-haired guy grinning down at me, two strange curls sticking out on either side of his head. I stared at him, quite a loss with words, and he stared back, scrutinizing me from the inside out, as if he was trying to see what was wrong with me.

And no, that didn't make me feel at ease.

"Err… who are you?" I finally asked, trying to politely smile again. If possible, he grinned even more, but before he could utter a word, two voices shouted in unison:

"_DAD_!"

The guy before me raised and eyebrow and we both looked behind him only to see Feliciano and Romano panting for breath. They had obviously run up the stairs and I wondered why they didn't use the elevator. The answer came soon enough…

"Why did you take the elevator just for yourself, ve~" Feliciano suddenly whined. "Antonio should have…"

"Oh, yeah!" the guy exclaimed, ignoring Feliciano and turning back to me, "Your name is Antonio! I totally forgot!", he grabbed my hand, "Pleased to meet you! I'm Julius Vargas! These two's father!" he grinned again.

I stared at him, open-mouthed, as my hand was squished in his tight grasp and then I looked at Romano, who, to say the least, looked extremely pissed off. More than usual, that is.

"Good!" Romano suddenly exclaimed, still trying to regain his breath, "You fucking saw him! Now let's go, dammit!" and pulled his father's arm away but Julius was stronger.

"Why are you in such a rush?" Julius laughed and patted Romano on the head, pissing him off all the more, "You are _always_ talking about this guy that you made me so curious to see who he was! I can't leave if we don't have a chat with him first, now, can I?" and laughed again.

I was confused and pinched myself, making sure that this wasn't just a dream. Romano was looking at me angrily while Feliciano looked between the two of us, worried and if I didn't know better, a little amused too.

"I don't _talk _about this son of a bitch! I _complain_!" Romano shouted. "It's different!"

"With you it's exactly the same!" Julius said instead and when Romano started cursing, he continued: "So, Antonio!", he slurred my name as if I was some kind of spy and that was my name code, which wasn't but it made me feel like a criminal of sorts.

I wanted to have the upper hand again and so I said:

"Well, I didn't expect visitors so the house is a mess… and…"

Julius laughed at me and slammed his hand on my back. I almost felt my bones creak. Damn, the guy was strong.

"Oh, it's all right!" Julius said, "We can go somewhere else!"

"We…?" I whispered, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah! Me, you and my sons!" Julius laughed, pointing at each other, "Come lad, don't you worry! I'll pay for all of us!"

"Pay…?" I didn't understand what he wanted to say. Julius stared at me for a whole minute before he burst out laughing again and turned to look at his older son.

"Romano, you were right!" Julius grinned, "This guy is quite slow" he looked at me again: "I'm treating you to lunch, how about that? We should know each other better since you are pinning after my son!"

Romano squeaked and he opened his eyes really wide. Feliciano looked worriedly at me and I noticed he was lightly shaking his head no at me. It didn't take me long to get the message right.

"Oh, no, Mr. Vargas!" I laughed and patted the other on the arm. He furrowed his eyebrows at me and I immediately withdrew my hand. "We are just friends!" I said then, laughing, I hope not that nervously as I sounded. Julius's lips quivered strangely and I couldn't understand if he was amused or surprised.

"Friends my ass!" Romano suddenly shouted then and crossed his hands over his chest. I felt my heart sink a little but I realized it was probably true anyway. Unexpectedly, Julius was back to smiling at me:

"Either way…" Julius said, "It's nice to know Romano has new friends!" and beamed, "I hope you are not busy today!"

"No, no… it's all right…" I run my fingers threw my hair, hoping they weren't standing too much. "Just… let me take my things…" I said then, going back into my apartment. Julius didn't follow me and neither had Romano, but Feliciano suddenly moved and stood beside me.

"Take your time, son!" Julius exclaimed. "And, by the way, don't call me Mr. Vargas! It makes me feel so old!"

I laughed and nodded while I tried to find my things in the mess. Feliciano bend down and picked up my keys and gave them to me.

"I'm so sorry!" he whispered, "Dad came for a visit this weekend and we wanted to show him the city and I didn't know he would have wanted to come here and I know it's unexpected and…"

"It's okay…" I said, cutting his rant, "You should have called, though…" and put on my shoes.

"Yes, I know! But I didn't know!" Feliciano exclaimed, "It was so sudden! We were just passing this way when Romano suddenly pointed at this being the bastard's house –sorry about that- and suddenly dad wanted to see you and he walks faster than both of us and…!"

"Should I be worried?"

"Oh, no, Antonio!" Feliciano said, "You and Romano are just _friends_…" he trailed off, as if that would make me feel less nervous.

"It's okay, Feli!" I smiled, "It will be nice doing something different today!"

"Are you sure?" Feliciano asked. I just smiled and then:

"I'm ready, Mister Vargas! I mean… Julius…" I called then, taking my coat. He laughed and patted me on the back as I closed the door to my apartment shut. Romano was staring at me and I tried to smile at him too but he just scoffed and turned abruptly around, walking away from us. Julius put his arm around me and Feliciano, probably to make the tension feel lighter, started talking about where we should go to eat.

I had no way out. Should I text Francis to tell him that if I didn't call him in less than 24 hours he should call the police?

"I don't know any good Italian restaurants near here…" Feliciano was saying, "Many of them are not Italian at all! The pasta is awful and…"

"If that's the case…" Julius said. "Why don't we eat something in the park? It's a nice day, no?"

"But I didn't cook anything, dad!" Feliciano said, "What are we supposed to eat?"

"That's easy. We'll just buy some sandwiches and drinks!" Julius said, "It would be some kind of fun picnic! What do you think, lad?" he asked, turning his attention back to me.

"It would be a waste to spend this day inside…" I said, sincerely liking the sun above us. Julius laughed.

"Then it's settled! So, Antonio, where is the nearest park?" Julius asked. I thought for a moment and then I smiled back to him:

"Oh, that would be…" I told him the name of the park. "It's not far and it has kind of an open snack bar where we…"

"Perfect!" Julius cut me, "Lead the way!" and finally let go of me and pulled me to walk ahead of us, were Romano was standing, angry at the whole world. When I was finally walking slowly beside him, he suddenly turned to look at me and spat:

"Why do you have to fucking ruin everything?"

His eyes were thin slits and I was surprised at that look. I didn't do anything! At least this time, I was perfectly innocent and I told him so:

"What did I do now?" I whispered back. "I didn't know you would have come!"

"I am so sick of you!" Romano said, "Why did you barged into my life?"

"I…" I started but I didn't have the time to retort that I felt Julius's arm around me again. I looked behind me and saw that Julius's other arm was around Romano's own shoulder. I felt once again in a sick mouse and cat game, where Julius was the big and scary cat while I was the oblivious mouse, trying to understand what was going on.

"What is this?" Julius was really amused. "A lover's quarrel?"

"_Argh_!" Romano groaned and slapped Julius's arm away and started walking faster ahead of us. I sighed and continued walking side by side with Julius and Feliciano.

"Do they have pasta in that snack bar?" Feliciano suddenly asked, trying to change subject. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"I don't think so…" I said.

"Too bad…" Julius said. I laughed. There was nothing else I could do.

So, to cut the story short, we arrived at the park and sat on a free table at the snack bar. We ordered to drink and eat and started to chat normally. Well, to tell the truth, it was Julius asking the questions and me trying to answer them.

"So, Antonio…" Julius said, "What do you do for a living?"

Normal question. Easy answer.

"Oh, I work in a Kindergarten…" I said with a smiled.

"A Kindergarten?" Julius seemed interested, "So you tend after kids and the such?"

Romano snorted and bite into his sandwich, staring at everything that wasn't us three. Feliciano sighed beside me and continued eating while I continued talking with Julius. If what we were having could be considered talking, that's it.

"Pretty much…" I smiled. "It's a nice job and…"

"Yeah, it's nice to have kids around, isn't it?" Julius said. "And… are you paid well?"

Another easy question.

"Well…" I said, "It's good enough to…"

"Hmm…" Julius said, not letting me finish my trail of though once again, and closed his eyes, probably thinking about the next question. I sighed and wanted once again to feel less like the mouse and more like the cat, so I suddenly said:

"And you, mist—…" Julius opened an eye, "… Julius…" I corrected myself, "What do you do?"

"Oh, I'm too old to work anymore…" Julius laughed. "I have retired…"

"Really?" I was surprised, "You seem so young! In fact, if you didn't tell me, I would have said you are Romano's and Feliciano's older brother!"

Julius seemed to like that and started to laugh, putting his hand back on to my shoulder.

"Are you always this flattering?" he said and chuckled again. Romano snorted once more but he kept staring at the people passing by.

"Oh, dad, you know it's true…" Feliciano suddenly piped in. "Did you know, Antonio? That he actually pretended to be our older brother in school?" Feliciano said, "And everyone wondered how did he become Principal in such a young age?"

"Principal?" I suddenly asked, impressed. Julius nodded and beamed at me.

"Yeah, high school Principal…" he said, "It's a really fun job, sometimes…"

"I would have liked to have you for Principal in High School…" I sighed, "Ours was a pain in the ass…" I bit my lip, "Sorry…" I laughed then, a little nervously.

"And let me guess…" Julius said, "You used to prank him a lot… didn't you?" he asked, conspirator.

"Oh, yeah…" I said promptly then I widened my eyes: "Oh, no! Of course _I_ wouldn't do something like that!"

Julius started laughing and then leaned closer to me.

"Of course, I'm sure you were too busy dating, right?" he said. I looked at him suspiciously and suddenly nervous. "How many _girls_ have you dated?"

"Er…" I didn't know what was going on and I was scared to answer something wrong.

"_Boys_?"

"Er…" I didn't know what to say. Julius's grin became wide.

"Too many to count?" he said then, "Are you _serious_ with your lovers then?" his voice suddenly became dark.

"L- lovers?" I stuttered and that made Julius smirk victoriously. I could see Romano and Feliciano getting interested in how the conversation was going too.

I gulped.

"Of course…" I said, but my hesitation must have triggered something in Julius's head. He suddenly became serious and his smile disappeared into a thin line. "But my serious relationships were quite few…" I said quickly then, hating the tension between us.

Beep.

Wrong answer.

Game over.

"Lad…." Julius suddenly wanted to ask something else but Feliciano suddenly stood up and laughed pointed at the park around u.

"Dad! Why don't we go for a walk! I'm sick of sitting, ve~" he exclaimed. Julius blinked for a moment and looked at his younger son in question. Romano was having an identical look as his father and looked at his brother, annoyed at the turn of events. I couldn't be happier.

"Yeah, me too!" I said immediately and stood up. "This park is lovely! Let's go, Feli~"

"Look at those flowers!" Feliciano said and took me by the arm, making me walk faster away from the other two. We started walking ahead and after a few seconds I heard Romano and his father stand up too to follow us. I shot a grateful look at Feliciano but he had already left my side and was busy chatting with a random girl with a little dog.

I wondered if Feliciano had really done it on purpose or it had been only a coincidence. Either way I was glad to be out of that conversation. Unfortunately, I had to stop and wait for the other two, who were walking silently behind me. I was afraid that Julius was going to continue from where he had left but soon enough he forgot what had happened and was running after the same girl Feliciano had been talking just a few seconds before.

I stared as Julius made the girl giggle and blush and I was surprised when suddenly the girl slapped him across his face and walked away, her dog in tow. I wanted to laugh but I refrained from doing so. Julius looked unfazed by it and turned back to me with a disappointed Feliciano behind.

Soon we were talking about Feliciano studies and how difficult it was to find a decent job these days. Romano walked silently behind us, not uttering a single word.

But that was going to change soon as Julius suddenly said:

"At least, lad, you've got a stable job… not like Romano…"

"You want to fucking talk about _that _again?" Romano suddenly spat, speaking for the first time. We stopped and stared at each other. Julius was smiling.

"Well, Romano dear, how many times I have to tell you your job as a bartender is very precarious… why didn't you find something more serious?"

There was tension back in the air and I could feel that it wasn't the first time they had talked about Romano's job. Feliciano and I shared a look but Romano suddenly said:

"Something serious?" he exclaimed, "I got something serious in my head but you bastard…!"

"Oh, Romano…" Julius said, disappointed, "We talked about that. Take things seriously for once… you never finish what you start. How am I …"

"I'm being fucking serious here!" Romano cut.

"Romano… opening a restaurant it's a…" Julius stopped, "Look at Feliciano… at least he is sure of what he wants to do and has the means to…"

"DON'T!" Romano suddenly shouted, pointing a finger at him, "Why you keep confronting me with _Feliciano_?" Romano was red with anger, "Feliciano is always better at me! He can do everything!" he mimicked, "Enough!" Romano shouted. "I can't take it anymore! I know you love him more than me but you don't have to rub it in my face every fucking time!"

"Romano…" Julius said, "That's not…"

"It's exactly what you are saying!" Romano spat again, "You always praise him whilst with me you are ALWAYS disappointed! Why don't you do the world a favor then and get rid of me!" and suddenly he started to walk away from us.

"Romano! Come here!" Julius suddenly ordered but to no avail.

"Romano!" I run after Romano and put a hand on his shoulder. He suddenly turned to look at me, his eyes big and wet.

"Don't interfere, bastard!" Romano shouted at me, "You don't have anything to do with this family and with ME! Got it?" and slammed my hand away. Feliciano run beside me just when Romano started to run away.

"I'll talk to him…" Feliciano said and run after him. I remained silent and sighed, walking back to where Julius was standing. The older man sighed and without a word sat on the nearest bench. I didn't know if I should sit near him or not but a moment later made up my mind and sat down.

Julius looked at me and smiled: "Well, sorry about that…"

"It's not your fault if you are concerned about him…" I said. "It's normal for a father to be concerned…"

"Did they teach you to say that to parents?" Julius laughed.

"No, it's just common knowledge…" I said. Julius shook his head at me and then looked up at the sky above us.

"You know Antonio…" Julius said. "Romano and I never agree on anything. I… no, we… we don't understand each other at all. He took a lot after me but still…he is so…" Julius tried to find the right words and sighed again. "He doesn't believe in himself, he thinks he is not worth anything and hates every one that can do something better than he can…"

"I know…" I said then and I saw with the corner of my eyes that Julius was staring at me. "Well, it's not difficult to notice…"

"Romano is lazy, just likes to bark orders and never does what he dreams of doing…" Julius continued, "He always talks but never acts. Nothing ever is worth enough to do it. A day he wants to study this, the next is something completely different. How can I take him seriously on this one?"

Julius sighed and felt silent again. I looked at him then at where Romano had been standing just a few minutes ago.

"Romano is serious about this…" I said, "He told me he wanted to open a restaurant and I saw the light in his eyes when he talked about becoming a cook. He wants this, he really does, but he is probably afraid of losing…" I continued, "He doesn't act because no one believes in him. He needs someone to push him. Someone that says that he shouldn't worry, it's okay, next time you'll beat him…"

"But I…"

"He needs your attention…" I said, "He wants someone to tell him he is good at something and not that he is good in just dreaming…"

Julius was silent.

"He hates his job, you know? I can see it." I said, "He probably took it to show you he can work… I don't know what I'm saying…" I laughed a little, "I don't know him that well… probably because it's what you expected of him… I don't know… but if Romano ever decides, I'll do everything that I can to help him out…"

Julius was staring at me, deep in thought. I stopped talking and suddenly there was silence again.

"Antonio, I underestimated you…" Julius suddenly whispered. "You are a good guy after all… a little dumb and always laughing, but… you are a good guy…"

I didn't know what to say about this and I felt my heart skip a beat at his words. Julius smiled at the sky above us and then continued:

"I know you'll make my son happy…" he whispered, "Maybe… maybe you'll manage to make him like himself more…"

I stared at him and I wanted to say something but suddenly Julius looked at me, serious:

"Of course, if you ever make him cry, I'll _make sure_ you'll never have an orgasm again. Trust me on this."

I gulped. He stared at me for some minutes and then he suddenly laughed:

"Oh, don't look so serious, lad! Don't take what an old man says so heartily!"

I tried to smile but then Julius got serious again:

"But really if you ever hurt him… I'll castrate you…" and then he burst out laughing again: "You believed me again!" and slammed his hand on my shoulder.

I gulped and looked away. Julius continued laughing his heart out. Suddenly I saw Feliciano, holding Romano's hand, approaching us. Julius suddenly became silent again and stared at the two walking slowly. When Feliciano pushed Romano to stand before their father, Julius suddenly stood up.

"Romano…" Julius said but Romano looked away, his eyes red from the crying.

"Make sure I'll be your first customer…" Julius suddenly said and with a swift move hugged Romano tightly. Romano's eyes widened and he turned to look at me, like I was the cause of everything. I smiled and he suddenly shivered, almost ready to cry again. He didn't, just scrubbed his eyes violently and shouted:

"Idiot!", he tried to free himself but Julius didn't want to let go anytime soon.

"I love you, Romano!" Julius suddenly exclaimed, "Stop believing the contrary, okay?"

"Let me go, bastard! People are watching! Argh!"

Feliciano stared at Romano and then he looked at me, in question.

I just shrugged.


	18. Chapter 14

_"And then?"_

"And then… _nothing_. He told me I should visit him sometime and parted ways…"

Gilbert chuckled, seeming quite amused at this and put his hands in his front pockets. I kept walking beside him, wondering once again where we were heading to.

"So you got into papa's heart, huh?" he said before I could ask and grinned: "One step closer to the goal!"

I tilted my head and thought about what he said.

"Far from it…" I decided in the end, thinking about Romano's father and what he had told me. He chuckled, shook his head amused at me and then he fell silent. I took my chance.

"So, now that I told you where I disappeared to the other day, will you tell me where are we going now?".

I was curious: Gilbert had come to pick me up from work and, without any explanation whatsoever, asked me if I could accompany him somewhere. I never had a chance to ask about where exactly that 'somewhere' was, though, and every time I tried to, he just shrugged.

"Oh, nothing important…" he said, the same answer to all my questions about it, "I just wanted to spend some time with you!" and then he smiled at me.

"_Really_, Gilbert…"

He shot me a look. I sighed.

"I'm going to return home if you don't tell me…" I said, suddenly stopping in the middle of the road. He turned up his nose at me, waited for me to start walking again and groaned:

"Oh, fine, bastard! We are going to spy on Matthew, happy now?" then lowered his voice, conspirator: "You must know, Antonio, that you are the only one that can understand the awesome me!"

"Huh?"

"Come on, Antonio! Think about it!" Gilbert suddenly exclaimed, "Say that Romano finally –is highly impossible but let's just assume- looks at you and shows any kind of interest…" I nodded, "What would you do if he suddenly seemed lost in his own world and answered vaguely to all your questions?"

I wasn't in the mood to think about what Gilbert wanted to tell me and so I sighed: "Gilbert, could you just…", he shot me a look, I sighed again: "Well, I would wonder why he stopped being interested in me and if I did something wrong…"

"Precisely! Except for the second part, because… when did I ever do something wrong, anyway?"

"Should I answer to that?" I asked.

"My _point_ is!" he ignored me, "That you would start spying on him to see what's wrong!"

"Why don't you ask him directly?" I asked then, not getting his point of view. He shot me a disbelieving look. I sighed once again.

"You think he lost interest?" I asked instead, changing topic. Gilbert stared at me for a while, lost in thought, then he run a hand through his hair, frustrated.

"I don't think so…" Gilbert said, "I mean, he…"

"You told us it wasn't anything serious…" I said then, trying to lighten the mood, "If he really did lost interest, then you'll just have to search for another one!"

"No, it's not serious…" Gilbert admitted after a moment of silence and looked away, "But… I need to know what happened, anyway…"

"Okay, then…" I said, surrendering to the idea I wasn't going to return home anytime soon, and looked at Gilbert, who was once again lost in thought. "So, where are we going?"

"Behind those bushes. Near that coffee shop."

"Huh?"

"Duck!"

He suddenly grabbed my shirt and pulled me down with him behind said bushes. I tried to say something but he _ssh_-ed at me and pointed at one of the tables. Then I saw him: what's-his-name talking animatedly with a busty girl with light brown hair. As much as I could hear, they seemed to have quite the connection, laughing at each other jokes and finishing each other phrases. Gilbert scowled at the scene and moved closer to hear better. I sighed and reverted my eyes on the couple ahead. I heard something move (probably Gilbert) and suddenly I felt him breathing down my neck.

"Stop breathing down on me, Gilbert…" I whispered, "It's creepy."

"I'm not Francis, Antonio! And now shut up or I can't— ARGH!"

"Argh?" I mimicked, raising one eyebrow, "What are you…!" and looked on my left, where I thought Gilbert was standing, but, instead of meeting Gilbert's red orbs, I saw two big blue eyes staring down at me. I suddenly felt cold.

"This is really a fun game, da?" the guy crouching down between us said, his smile growing at each word. He was blonde and really big and that grin of his made me feel really uncomfortable. I tried to look at Gilbert to see if he was reacting the same way but I couldn't see him as he was hid by the other's figure.

"You…!" I just heard Gilbert exclaim, "What—"

"You know him?" I asked, surprised, and suddenly I saw Gilbert stand up and make a step backwards, away from the big creepy guy between us.

"Is the game over?" the guy asked, looked up at Gilbert and slowly stood up, straightening his back as he did so. And damn. He was tall. "Good! I was getting tired…"

"Antonio… start running…" Gilbert suddenly whispered to me. I raised my brow once again and almost yelped when the guy suddenly grabbed me from the collar of my shirt and pulled me up. His eyes reverted back to Gilbert immediately and he smiled even wider.

"I remember you…" the guy said, "So you like stalking other's sisters, da? And you brought a friend this time?" he looked at me, inspecting me as if I was some kind of new food. That didn't make me feel better. Not at all.

"Let me tell you once more!" Gilbert suddenly shouted, gaining the attention once again, "_She _wanted to come home with me!"

"I know my sister and I don't believe you…" the guy said, "You didn't have a chance with her and now you are trying to get to the other one…"

"I don't even know what you are talking about!" Gilbert shouted back, "Now, let my friend down!"

I didn't let my eyes away from the guy (I didn't dare to, actually) but I was sure everyone was looking at us. It was impossible not to notice us, anyway, but the guy didn't seem to care being the center of everyone's attention. Suddenly I heard someone shout:

"Ivan!"

"Gilbert!"

Both Gilbert and I turned to the owners of the voices. Matthew and his girlfriend were staring at us, mouth agape and eyes wide open.

"Ivan! Let that poor boy down!" the girl ordered and started running towards us. Suddenly Ivan dropped me and I fell down on the floor. It hurt but I was glad to feel the earth again.

"They were stalking you…" Ivan said matter-of-factly. Gilbert shot him a look then he looked back at Matthew, who was staring at Gilbert like he came from another planet.

"Stalking me?" the girl said, reverting her eyes to us, "I don't know them…"

"I do…" Matthew said then, all eyes reverted on him, "Gilbert what are you doing here, eh?"

Gilbert was suddenly at loss with words and he started to laugh, nervously.

"It's a funny story…!" he started to say.

"So you weren't stalking _the girl_, pervert?" Ivan suddenly grinned, cutting Gilbert's story short. To say Gilbert was angry was an understatement, but before he could say anything the girl cut in:

"Why are you here, Ivan?"

"Who is stalking now, huh!" Gilbert shouted and laughed. Ivan's smile didn't falter but the girl was slowly becoming worried.

"I'm not stalking, pervert…" Ivan said, perfectly calm and almost joyfully, "Natalia called…" he said then to his sister. The girl raised her eyebrow, nodded to herself then turned and smiled at Matthew.

"I'm sorry about everything, Matthew!" she said, then she turned to us. "Sorry about that!"

"No big deal…" I said, my throat still hurting from the sudden pull. She smiled and then looked at Matthew:

"I have to go, Matthew. You understand…"

"Yeah…" he said and smiled at her, "No problem. See you another time!"

"I'll call you!" she said and took Ivan's arm, but before she turned away, she exclaimed: "And think about what I told you!"

"Sure!" Matthew said and waved her goodbye. She then started to walk away really quickly. Ivan waved at us, smiled and followed her.

"Well?"

It was Matthew who talked. I looked at Gilbert, who looked at me. We both looked at Matthew.

"Well, what?" Gilbert said.

"What were you two doing behind those bushes?" Matthew asked, patient. I looked around us, suddenly curious about the street before us.

"As I told you, it's a really funny story…" Gilbert said and grinned, "Antonio here…"

"Romano!" I suddenly shouted. Gilbert narrowed his eyes at me:

"Oh, that's great. He is going to believe that…!"

"No!" I said, "I mean! Yes! He is _here_…!" and pointed at someone walking a distance away from us. I suddenly felt the urge to go and greet him but it disappeared as soon as I saw with whom Romano was walking side by side with.

Romano was really there, laughing and smiling so openly at two girls walking side by side with him. The sight shocked me and I dropped my hand down, staring at them. He was so beautiful like that, not scowling or cursing for once, as he talked animatedly, making the girls giggle.

I didn't know this side of Romano and I felt my stomach churn at the realization that maybe I never will.

"That's Romano, yes…" I heard Matthew said, suddenly relieved.

"He's… _smiling_…" Gilbert said out loud. I nodded, still in shock.

"He's like that with all the girls, actually…" Matthew said then and I abruptly turned to look at him. Matthew suddenly felt my attention and coughed a little embarrassed. "To tell the truth I never actually saw him with a boy… I mean…"

I had no chance. That was what he meant and I knew it. I looked back at Romano, still deep in the conversation. One of the girls put her arms around Romano's one and he smiled at her.

He let her touch him.

If that was me, he would have kicked me in the face.

And he was smiling at them while it took me months to see what his face was like without a scowl!

"Won't you go and greet him, Antonio?" Gilbert suddenly asked, looking at me confused.

"Oh… err…" I stuttered. I suddenly felt weird, disappointed and angry at the same time, but I tried to hide it as best as I could. "No…" I said finally, "He has company… and I don't want to bother him…"

Gilbert's eyebrows furrowed and then he looked at Matthew, who was looking between me and Romano, deep in thought.

"And anyway… I have… work to do…" I said, "See you both!" I smiled then, turned around and walked away, leaving them alone.

Maybe it wasn't his company that bothered me. It was the realization that, maybe, everything that I have done, until then, had been futile. If Romano could be so open, after all I done, after all we've been through, he would have been the same with me, he would have showed me at least a little of the same kindness, but he hadn't.

Clearly, he wasn't interested in boys.

He wasn't interested in me.

It took me that much to get it.

I had to move on and stop pursuing Romano.

Clearly, it wasn't going to get me anywhere.


	19. Francis 3

I couldn't get the scene I witnessed out of my head.

I tried to tell Antonio once, but he was so sick he couldn't hear me and I didn't even dared to tell Gilbert, because I knew, sick or not, he wouldn't listen to me anyway. In the end, I stopped trying to analyze what happened (and my feeling of it) and went on my own to the 'Nightwave' to get some answers to my questions.

But when I came face to face with Alfred, who smiled at me and asked me what I wanted to drink, the question: "Hey, are you and Arthur in a secret relationship?" seemed really stupid and, at any rate, I didn't want to know the answer to that, anymore.

I ordered a drink and then, uncomfortable with Alfred's naïve smile, I tried to start a conversation with him, just to fill the silence.

"So, _cher_… strange name you gave the place…", I started. He poured me my drink and grinned:

"It was Arthur who came up with it, isn't it cool?"

I nodded. I didn't care about the name. I stood up without another word and made my way to the middle of the dance floor, trying to clear my head.

The realization had been _killing_ me.

It was easy to ignore the first few days. I told myself that it wasn't going to last forever, that it's a phase, because, why else would I feel so jealous of him, of all people?

I know everything about love. How is it to fall for someone, the difference between love, crush and lust and how to flirt correctly. Nevertheless, to use all of the above with _him _felt out of place, ridiculous even, but, as much I tried to deny it, the feeling remained:

I was jealous and, for once in my life, I felt completely lost when it came to love.

There was only one person I could speak to about it and, maybe, get some answers. She is good in what she does, after all, and I trust her completely.

"Mum, it's me…".

My mother is a psychologist.

My father… my father was a journalist. They met one day in Paris and married. Just like that. I can't say if they loved each other or not. The truth is, I never saw them show any kind of affection for each other, or for me, for that matter.

I knew they loved me but I always felt it on the surface only, never deep inside, never enough for me to say: "yes, I'm happy". I was quite jealous of the other kids, who were praised constantly and received smiles so wide from the parents whenever they were around.

We lived together in a house outside the city and I still remember the way I looked out the window, to where the house in front of us was. There lived a big family with five children and always wondered what it would be like to have all those people around.

I imagined them eating together around a table, all chatting and laughing, serving each other the main dish and helping all together to clean the kitchen. Of course I was far off the reality but I didn't know back then and only had that image of them in my mind.

That was what made me, one day, get out of my house, while my parents coldly bickered about the bills, cross the street and walk over the youngest of the brothers, who was playing alone with his rabbit and was feeding him a carrot. He didn't even notice me at first, so intent in what he was doing, but suddenly he turned around and gaped at me, clearly surprised. The sudden move, though, made the rabbit stop chewing on his carrot and run away from us. The boy turned his attention back to his pet and started running after him, before it hopped in front of a passing car.

Rabbit safe in his arms, he shot me a murderous look and scowled.

"He almost got killed because of you!" he shouted at me.

I stared at him. Studied his too big eyebrows over his eyes and his dirty blond hair, that seemed to never have met a brush before, and scowled too.

"It's not my fault you are so ugly that the rabbit waited for the right opportunity to break free!"

"Look who's talking, you frog!" he said, "You are the boy living across the street, aren't you? You are French…"

"And with that, you scone eater?"

"My name's Arthur, if you want to know!"

"And mine Francis! Goodbye!"

I don't remember the pet name, what day it was, or if we were eight, nine or ten, but this is the first memory I have of Arthur and I much cherish it.

It wasn't the best of first impressions. Or second or third or fourth… but I kept going back to him eventually, sometimes accompanied by Gilbert and Antonio, just to tease him and he would come to mine house too, just to disturb me.

Probably, sane persons that didn't like each other stayed out of each other's way, but we did not. We made everything possible to see each other at least once a day, just to spite the other, and the fact that we were neighbors helped a lot.

Or maybe, now that I think about it, we were just lonely and needed someone that didn't ignore us.

Arthur has three older brothers and one younger one. I don't remember his parents ever being home before ten in the evening. The five of them managed on their own and each of them lived separately in that big house. The image I had of them was completely wrong.

Arthur, in his own sick way, tried everything he could to hold his family close, and maybe he did it wrong, or maybe it wasn't just meant to be, but he just resulted being ridiculed of. His brothers scorned him, beat him and teased him. The only one who seemed to think highly of Arthur was his younger brother, Peter, who wanted to follow his steps and become like him. But, unfortunately, Peter was born too late and, by the time, Arthur was so sick and tired of everything that he gave up trying and in the end ignored the only one who wanted to stay near him.

I believe Peter saved himself in a way. I heard that he went to live with a gay couple living some houses away from where the Kirklands lived and he is happy like that.

A really dysfunctional family. Not that mine was any better.

I think that is what drew us close.

"And eventually became friends…"

"Friends, mum? Be serious…"

We started middle school together and stayed together until the end of our school years. We saw each other grow up, we know each other weaknesses, and, hell, he owns me a lot for bearing with him. I still remember his 'punk phase'. How awful!

Oh, the tortures of being with him! I tried to teach him to cook once. It was a lost case. I tried to cut his hair. It was the same mess. He taught me to sew and was angry when I did a better job than him. I choose his clothes when he had to go somewhere important.

But I must admit, he had been there when I most needed. And I, on my part, had tried to help him when he needed out of his family.

I remember when my parents divorced. I was devastated by the sudden change, all my suspicions suddenly real. He was the first one I called, because he was the only one who could understand, and, despite our past, our present and our future, he came.

He came to mock me, but he came.

"What are you doing there in bed?" he shouted, "Stand up and celebrate! The hell is finally over! You stupid frog. Such a drama queen…"

We ended up lying side by side in my bed hours on end: talking and bickering and laughing and then bickering again.

"And doesn't this prove you, at least, like him?"

Like him… _maybe_.

But love him? No. It never ever crossed my mind.

It was easier to fall in love with Antonio. It had been much less sudden. Antonio is my best friend since forever, I know him since we were babies, and I always liked his passion, the way he does everything, giving all his heart in what he believes in, forgetting risks, seizing the day because tomorrow… who knows?

I liked that. I still like that.

Antonio's handsome. Arthur not so much.

Antonio smile can light a room. Arthur just sulks.

It felt only natural to love Antonio and it made me feel so horrible that I could never have him. He loved someone else and besides, he was my best friend. That's all. There was going to be nothing else.

It was easy to agree to that pact with that thought alone.

Arthur, on the other, couldn't even _understand_ how I could love someone like Antonio. They weren't on good terms with each other, that was a well known fact, but, still, I couldn't understand why he despised the idea that much.

Probably he was scared we were going to make out in his garden, before his eyes. That would be something I would do to make him pissed off but I bet he would be turned on by it. Come on, it's me and Antonio we are talking about!

No, jokes aside.

That stupid pact. That reckless pact… how it ruined my life!

"So… Gilbert, Antonio and I made a pact…"

"Oh, really?"

Fake interest. He kept doing what he was doing. His house was empty. The kitchen was really dirty. I don't know why I remember stuff like that…

"To never fall in love. Never again."

A cup crashed on the floor.

"Are you serious?"

Suddenly he was staring at me and I told him everything.

"It's not going to last, you know… you three will fall in love eventually and when that happens I'll be there laughing at your sorry faces…"

"I don't think it's going to be like the promise Gilbert made me do about not telling about his… _wet _accident a couple of years ago…"

"That had been fun…"

Silence. He tried to pick up the pieces of the broken cup. Without thinking, I crouched down and helped him.

"Arthur, this time is a real."

He didn't look at me when he said:

"Are you sure you are not going to fall in love after this?"

"Arthur… there is going to be no one else after Antonio…"

"That shit again…" he said, gritting his teeth, "At least did you tell him it's _his_ fault you agreed?"

A moment of silence.

"Well?"

"I told them it was because of you…"

"_WHAT?_"

"Arthur, I couldn't think of anything else! I told them I loved _you _and you rejected me. It's easy to believe! We are together most of the time!"

"You don't seriously love me, right? Right?"

"Be serious, _rosbif_. How can I love you?"

"Right, how can you…".

I don't know what happened then. We finished High School and then, one day, Arthur and I never spoke again.

To not speak to each other was a common thing, but it never lasted long. We fought many times and made up just as many. Only once it lasted so much it made us both go crazy. We didn't talk for three months straight after The Accident but after that we were back to our own selves again and who does remember now why we reacted _that_ badly to something as _stupid _as The Accident in the first place…

"The Accident, mum? Did I never talk about it?"

We were twelve… thirteen… I don't remember exactly. All I remember is that it was the first time, after years, that the school organized a five-day-school trip to a place I don't even remember the name of anymore. It was near the coast, that much I'm sure. We, as The Bad Touch Trio, were having the time of our life. The professors decided to let us have fun alone, at least for a little while, near the beach.

We were practically partying: we had the night all to ourselves. Everyone was happy, except one: Arthur and someone else had a really big fight. He stormed off and sat down on the beach alone, very far away from all of us. Suddenly a girl said that someone should call him back, and Gilbert exclaimed I would do it. I didn't want to leave the party but they persuaded me to go and fetch him and, in the end, I made my way to him halfheartedly.

"Arthur!" I shouted. He abruptly stood up and watched me as I difficultly made my way to him. I opened my mouth to add something, didn't look where I was going and tripped over something.

Everything happened quickly: Arthur jumped forward to catch me, I grabbed his shirt and we both fell down on the ground. We both tried to stand up, I slipped again, he moved his head and ended up… kissing. Actually, it was more a touch of lips than a kiss, but it was enough to make us both stop moving in shock.

Arthur shoved me off him immediately, slapped me and stood up to look at the sea again. I sighed, put a hand over the red mark on my cheek and moved in a sitting position, staring at his back for a moment before I said:

"That was completely uncalled for…"

"Shut up, wanker!" Arthur shouted and threw some sand at me. He missed me and Arthur glared at me before he sat down on the sand again. "Why did you come here, anyway?" he asked then, still angry.

"They told me to call you back…" I answered, "What are you doing here all alone?"

"Just thinking…" he looked behind him to the sea and then added: "The waves in the night are quite scary…"

I raised an eyebrow at him and then, seeing he wasn't going to add anything else, I sighed:

"Then come with us… it' more fun…" I said, standing up again. I helped him up too and he followed me back to the party.

"So you understand?"

"You always took Arthur for granted, that's what I understand. You were sure he was going to follow you back to the party that day, or else you would have told someone else to do it. You were always sure that, after a period of silence, he would talk to you again, sooner or later. It's only natural you felt devastated when he disappeared after High School…

"And now, you were always sure Arthur wasn't going to be with anyone else that wasn't you and that's why, when you finally met after all this years, you resent Alfred for taking him away…"

"That's not true, mum. He had his lovers in school, I didn't resent them!"

"You slept with Victoria, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but…"

"…that was an accident… and that boy you were both infatuated with… yes… oh, and his brother too… I remember when he came down your room that morning. Oh, my, he almost gave me a heart attack!"

"What does his brother have to do with anything? And, moreover, that was an accident too…"

"Of course. Because, if he hadn't opened the door, you would have tried to take _Arthur_ to bed…."

"I'm glad to have such an open minded mum like you, but, this time, you are getting quite ridiculous…"

"You called me…", she chuckled.

"I don't want him to be mine, mum…"

"And then why, pray tell, are you jealous of the bartender?"

"I…I…"

My mother went silent on the other line. I didn't know what to say and, probably, my mother felt my discomfiture and changed topic.

"Oh, darling, why don't you tell me the name of the club, again? I may pass by to see how cute that bartender is! Arthur always had good taste in partners after all…"

"The Nightwave mom…" I said, relieved about the innocent question.

"Waves in the night?"

"Something like that. Nightwa—"

I shut my mouth.

"_The waves in the night are quite scary…" _

"_It was Arthur who came up with it, isn't it cool?"_

"What happened, darling? You became suddenly silent…"

"He remembers?" is what I could only say.

"You do too. Why _wouldn't_ he?"

"And why _would_ he?"

"Probably because it's important to him…"

"Why…? Nothing significant happened…"

Unless.

Unless…

"Sorry, mom. I have to go…"

"Call me Saturday, darling. Miss Smith wants to come home one of these days and wants to see you. She is going to bring her daughter…"

"Ok, I will. Bye, mum…"

And we hung up.


	20. Chapter 15

**A.N. I was quite surprised, to say the least, about all the positive responses on the last chapter. I must tell the truth, I was kind of waiting another USUK vs. FrUk review battle, with lots of "I hate FrUk", "Bastard, USUK is better" or things like that stuffing my mailbox. I was happy that it didn't go as I expected to, or, at least, comments on my decision weren't quite as spiteful as I had feared they would be. Of course, there had been a review that struck my eye and I'm really sorry that said reviewer felt that upset. I understand their point of view, but to me FrUk doesn't make less sense than any other pair in Hetalia (call it GerIta, PruCan, or whatever you want). This reviewer told me (and I know it's partly true) that French and English don't like each other all that much (let's not go into history facts). I understand the point and I can understand their feelings too because I thought the same things regarding Greece/Turkey stories (I'm Greek). All in all, though, this is _fandom_ and everyone can do and write whatever they please. If they think it's possible and they like it, then it's okay with me and in the end, I had to admit, that there are some cute fanfics regarding Turkey and Greece, regardless if I like it or not. I am being too general now, and I'm not in the mood for fandom-battles, so let's just talk more specifically about the story "Singles". There are many reasons (aside the poll I made months ago) why I decided to take this turn of events with Francis, but I must remind whoever felt upset that they didn't start reading this story because of FrUk, or USUK, or PruCan… they clicked on it because it wrote "Spamano". _This _is the main pairing, and everything else is just garnish and are not important to my main Spamano plot. If you don't like FrUk, or PruCan or anything, that is fine, I am not going to be upset or angry, and if it bothers you that much, you can skip every "Francis" chapter from here on. It won't make any difference and you will still understand the main things going on. If sometimes FrUk or any other pairing you don't like it's hinted, you can just ignore it. What _is_ going to upset me is if you are going to hate this story and stop reading just because there is going to be FrUk. It would be really unfair. Thank you very much and, now, on with the story. As always, sorry for any grammatical or lexical mistake. **

**: : : : :  
**

I couldn't get the scene I witnessed out of my head.

Maybe I'm overreacting and, yeah, Romano can do whatever he pleases with whoever he wants. It's not like I own him or something, but… but… why couldn't he be just as _cute_ with me too? At first I thought he was like that, easy to anger and pouting, I mean, with just about everyone and that I hadn't any other choice but to be called a bastard at any time of a day. Take Ludwig, for example, Romano hates his guts, for a reason or another, and he isn't nice to Feliks too, so the fact that he wasn't kind with me too didn't make that much of a difference, did it? But now... if he _can _be gentle and polite to someone _else _means he _could_ be gentle and polite with me _too_ and the fact he is not, that he doesn't want to, makes now a really big difference.

"Am I making any sense?" I asked and looked up at Gilbert and Francis, who were staring back at me, trying to comprehend my rant.

"In a way…" Gilbert suddenly dared to answer. "Does that mean you are going to give up?" he asked then. I looked at him but the hesitancy in my eyes must have triggered something because then Francis exclaimed:

"Oh, no, you are not, Antonio dear!"

"I saw him too, Francis… he was… ridiculously _happy_…" Gilbert said, slurring the last word as if he was saying that sharks can be cuddly too. I deleted the mental picture and returned to the on-going conversation.

"Guys…" I tried. They ignored me.

"So?" Francis said, "Antonio should give up when he has no other choice. If humans gave up so easily, we would be lost gone…"

"What a hypocrite…" Gilbert suddenly whispered, his lips turning into a disgusted smirk.

"Are you insinuating something?"

"Guys…" I tried again, a little louder.

"Oh, you bet I am…!"

"If you want to know my opinion…!"

"Guys, shut the fuck up!" I suddenly shouted and I, finally, managed to make them stop before things got nasty. They glanced at each other for a moment before they reverted their attention back to me. I sighed: "I didn't say I was going to give up…"

"But you heard what Matthew said…" Gilbert immediately declared, "Besides, a one-night stand isn't worth all this trouble!"

"You are right on this one…" I said, thinking his words through.

"But you were _this_ close, Antonio…" Francis said. I looked at him, grimaced a little. I didn't believe him and Francis knew.

"Didn't you once say that Antonio should give up and stay away from that guy?" Gilbert suddenly piped in.

"I changed my opinion…" Francis said.

"And what made you change your opinion oh-so suddenly?" Gilbert suddenly said, curious. Francis stared at our albino friend, humph-ed and looked away.

"Does it matter?" Francis spat, "I think Antonio shouldn't give up _now_…"

"I just need time to think…" I said, cutting the quarrel that would soon start. "Nothing else." I added then.

"You should take your mind off Romano, for a while…" Gilbert said. "Let's go out, have some fun, just like old times!" he smirked. I tried to smile at him but it came out fake. They didn't notice, though, because suddenly Francis exclaimed:

"Great. Let's go to the Nightwave then …" and grabbed his coat, under our bewildered eyes. "What?" he exclaimed then, puzzled.

"And that will help him stop thinking about Romano in what way?" Gilbert suddenly inquired.

"This is not about him stop thinking about Romano. It's all about deciding." Francis said, giving emphasis on the last word, "If he sees him and talks to him, Antonio will make the right questions to understand if he has no other choice or not. Romano doesn't know Antonio caught him with those two girls. It would be a good opportunity to clarify things once and for all…"

Gilbert stared at him. Silence and then a light nod.

"Fine. If is what it takes…" Gilbert agreed and grabbed his things too.

"Guys…" I tried. But once again I was ignored.

I didn't think it was a good idea. I liked Gilbert's first suggestion as I wasn't really in the mood to see Romano for a while. It was strange to say, I know, but in that moment all I could see was a happy Romano, hand in hand with someone else, make it a pretty lady or another man, and the image quite hurt. I tried to tell them, but they overlooked my objections and almost dragged me away without giving me another glance.

They did everything they could as to make sure I wasn't going to flee. I took my car, Francis came with me, while Gilbert followed us with Francis' coupé. We parked, made our way to the club and Francis even accompanied me to the usual barstool with his hand tightly around my arm.

A moment later, they disappeared into the dancing crowd and I was left alone, planning my escape. I took out my cell-phone, wondered if they were spying on me and sighed. Slowly, I made to stand up and decided that I will send a message to Francis in an hour or so, telling him I had found company and went to some hotel…

"What's up, Antonio!"

I looked up and saw Feliks smiling haughtily at me, as always. I sighed, because for the moment I couldn't do as I wanted, and smiled at him.

"Hey, Feliks!" I said. "Long time, no see, huh? How's Toris?"

"Oh, he's is totally fine.." he said, taking an empty glass and put it in front of my face, "Job sucks, he says. His boss, is, like, totally crazy…" he laughed, "But, I suppose…" he continued, smirking at me, his green eyes twinkling, "…you are not here for, like, hear my news, right?" and abruptly turned around and waved at someone hiding in the darkness. I didn't even have the time to say: "no, that's not necessary" that suddenly I saw Romano making his way to where we were. He opened his mouth to say something but then his lips quivered into a scowl when he spotted me.

Scowl. Like always.

"Have fun, you two!" Feliks laughed and slapped Romano on the back, who grimaced at him before staring down at me. I thought about what Francis had told us and I started thinking about all the possible "right questions" I could ask Romano but nothing came to mind. I just stared at Romano, who narrowed his eyes at me.

_"Are you listening to me?" _

"What?" I asked, taken aback. I was so deep in thought I didn't hear a word he had said. Romano seemed quite shocked too at this but he soon regained composure and said again, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance:

"Listen, Spanish idiot. I don't have time for bastards like you. If you are going to space out on me, fine! But at least have the decency not to waste my time, idiot, because I have work to do and you are not the only fucking customer here and…!"

"Oh, yes…" I said, cutting his rant with a vague gesture of my hand, "I'm sorry. Please, keep doing your job…"

Romano blinked at me. Even I blinked at my own words, but now the damage was done and Romano stared at me, hard, stabbing me repeatedly with just one look, before he abruptly turned around, fuming and walked away, blabbering about how much of a bastard I was.

I've done it, this time.

I sighed again. In that moment, I felt like I made one step forward and twenty backwards. If I hadn't any intention of backing away before, in that moment it just felt like the wisest thing to do.

I should go, I told myself. I should go and stop thinking about Romano.

I looked down at my mobile phone again and I was ready to stand up again when someone, sitting two seats away from me, caught my eye.

It weren't his looks that struck me in the first place. In fact he was perfectly normal looking: chestnut hair and tanned skin, just a little darker than I was. What made me stop and stare at him was the fact he seemed like he was _sleeping_, comfortably leaning on the barstool, regardless of the loud disco music, Alfred's annoying laughter and all that people dancing around.

My first logical thought was that, maybe, the guy was drunk and had passed out like that. I didn't know what got me then, but I just knew I just couldn't leave him like that and had to help him. So, I made my way to him and poked him, just to make sure he was fine.

"Hey… are you okay?" I asked, getting quite worried when he didn't immediately respond. He slowly opened his eyes, though, and blinked his olive eyes at me, still sleepy. It took him a while to answer me but finally he said (no, slurred):

"Yes, of course. Why?"

Well. I was astounded. The guy didn't seem drunk at all and he really was sleeping in the middle of the nightclub, surrounded by dancing people and the music so loud you couldn't hear yourself think. He sat straighter, reminding me of a cat, and finally looked at me once more.

"You look… confused…" he said, hitting the mark.

"Yeah, well…" I said, suddenly embarrassed, "You were sleeping." I stated.

"Yes, in a nightclub…" he said, totally unfazed. "Drinking does that kind of effect on me…" he continued. I raised my eyebrow and sat heavily down, next to him. They guy had all my attention.

"Drinking makes me… quite…" I started. He looked at me. "… well, quite angry… not that I remember anything afterwards…"

"So, are you angry now?" he said. "You don't seem like it…"

"Today I wasn't not in the mood to drink…" I said with a laugh, and he leaned on his hand, interested. "No… I'm not really the drinking-type of guy…"

"Then, why did you come here?"

I was surprised by the straightforwardness but I wasn't bothered by it. On the contrary, I glanced with the corner of my eye over where Romano was taking someone's order and looked back at the guy in front of me.

"My friends dragged me here" I said, honestly. The guy nodded. "But I just want to go home…" I added.

"I don't want to go home…" he said instead. He took a glass filled with something that looked like water and gulped it down.

"Why?"

"Relationship problems…" he said, voice low but clear. "I think you understand", he added then.

"Yes and no…" I said, "I'm not and never was in a stable relationship, so…"

"Oh…" he said, "Really? I supposed you were…"

"No, I'm not" I said, "My relationships, till now, were only based on…" I suddenly stopped, amazed at myself for telling these things to a complete stranger. The guy, though, seemed not to care and continued in my place:

"Sex"

"You must be disgusted…" I said then, getting over my shock. If I tried to have the same conversation with another human being, he or she would have probably walked away from me by then, but this guy just stood there, watching me, no emotion on his tanned face.

"I am interested…" he said and I widened my eyes at the insinuation. "Sex is natural and there is nothing to be ashamed of…"

I stared at him and suddenly I felt like smiling. I wondered if this guy was like Francis and if they met, what would happen. I couldn't say in that moment if I liked him or not, but he made me feel at ease and that counted in making me forget about the incident with Romano for a little while.

"I heard something like that before…" I said, chuckling and the corners of his lips twitched up too.

"I suppose your friends dragged you here to find someone to spend the night with…" he said then.

"More or less…" I nodded, "And I supposed you are here because your other half made you sad or angry in some way…"

"More or less…" he mimicked. "We are totally opposites and sometimes I wonder…"

"…if you should move on…?" I asked. He stared at me and I looked down. "Sorry"

"No, don't apologize…" he said, calmly, "That is what I wanted to say… so… you lived this feeling too?"

I'm living it now, I wanted to say, but I didn't answer his question. He gazed at me, long, and I felt like he was trying to read my thoughts, when suddenly he said:

"Why don't we go dance and make this night meaningful for both of us?"

It was my time to stare at him and my heart suddenly started to race. I felt like I was going to do something I shouldn't and I felt really guilty, but before I could understand what kind of battle was going on inside of me, my mouth spoke for me:

"Yes… let's go…" and stood up.

He stood also up and, slowly, we made our way to the middle of the floor. My only thought in that moment was: what the hell, it's months since I last done this and I need this to keep me sane. The guy seemed normal and healthy and I decided to give it a shot. We slowly started to dance together, grinding into each other as if we had already met ages before. His skin felt hot against mine and he moved slow, as if examining with his own body every inch of my own.

I wasn't bothered by it, in fact it made me interested, exited even. I looked at him, straight into his eyes and whispered:

"I never asked for your name…"

"Herakles…" he said, promptly.

"Antonio…" I said and he repeated my name, unintentionally making me shiver. There was something in him that reminded me of Romano, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. I stopped thinking and put my arms around him: I didn't care about anything, anymore.

"Should we take this somewhere else?" I suddenly asked after three songs. We stopped moving and when he nodded, I reached for my pocket to get my cell-phone, before I remembered I left it back on the barstool.

"Wait for me outside…" I said then. "I need to take my cell-phone…"

He nodded once again and I moved away from him, slowly making my way out the throng, back to where we had been sitting before. I searched for my phone, then, but I couldn't find it anywhere and I wondered if I had been stolen that someone grabbed my hand and put something roughly in my palm. It was my phone and I looked up to see who had been so kind to give it back to me and froze.

Hazel eyes stared at me, damp, angry, disgusted, disappointed… hurt.

"Are you searching for your phone, bastard?" he smirked down at me, "You should be _thankful _that no one stole it, damn it!" Romano shouted at me, "I wanted to break the fucking thing but you seemed so _desperate_ and…!" suddenly he looked at something behind my back and gritted his teeth: "But _I'm sure _you don't fucking care about what I'm saying now, do you, damn it?"

I was at loss with words. Suddenly, all my resolutions vanished into thin air and I wanted to say something, anything, but no words came out.

"The guy is waiting, bastard. Go have sex, damn it! AND don't think I FUCKING care!" and walked away. I remained there, not understanding what had just happened, for a little while, before I made up my mind, put away my phone in the back pocket and walked out the nightclub.

I felt like shit.

As soon as I got out, I searched for Herakles in the darkness. I found him leaning against a motorbike, smoking a cigarette and looking up at the moon. I made my way to him and he looked down at me. There was silence for a few moments, then Herakles slowly took a drag and, with his relaxed voice, said:

"That bartender seemed really pissed off…" and then stomped on his half-finished cigarette. I watched the little orange light disappear and said:

"He is always like that…", I tried to smile, he seemed to notice.

"You said you didn't have a relationship…"

"No, I don't…" I said. Herakles stared at me for a long moment and I waited for his response.

"You must have realized…" he said, "…that this is not a good idea…"

I smiled at him widely.

"Sorry that I dragged you out!"

"No, if you hadn't, I would have never returned home… you helped me make up my mind…" Herakles said and mounted on the bike he had previously been leaning on. "Do you need a ride?" he asked then, suddenly concerned.

"I have my car parked somewhere nearby…" I reassured him. He nodded, smiled a little at me and started the engine.

"You are a good guy, Antonio…" he said, putting on his helmet, "I hope to see you around…"

"I hope too…" I said and he drove away. That night I was sure I wasn't going to hear from this strange guy again but I did met Herakles many times after that. He is one of my really good friends now, he is the one that can calm me down when no one else can. We understand each other a lot, but the thought of becoming something more never crossed our minds.

He has his almond eyes to look after and I have my own hazel eyes to kiss.

That night I didn't sleep well. Unpleasant dreams hunted me all night and a strange feeling in my heart didn't want to leave me alone. The morning I tried to make up my mind. I had a cup of coffee, I tried to eat something and prepared myself to go to work.

When I opened my door to go out, I suddenly decided. _I was going to give up._

I took my phone and clicked on the name's list to get Francis' number...

My mind went blank.

Because there was something really strange going on. The first name on the list, actually. A name that, I was sure, wasn't there the day before.

_AAARomano_

Romano had given ME his number and had put three "A" before his name to make sure he was the first on the list.

In that moment, my heart stopped beating.

I didn't know what to do.


	21. Chapter 16

**A.N. I want to say a big, flashing THANK YOU to every one of you for all the kind words, the reviews and ALL the love you are giving this story! So, in this chapter, I tried to give some of that love back. And these words of gratitude are too weak to express the real feeling. You rock! XD **

**To Elle: I must have been misunderstood. I wasn't trying to put words in your mouth. I do respect your opinion and I'll keep in mind what you said. Probably I should rephrase what I wanted to say: your review genuinely surprised me, but it didn't upset me. Other, more serious things, do. I wasn't saying that you will stop reading this story (after all, you would have said it if that was the case, no?) but I was talking in general, trying to explain what things _really do _upset me. I know there are some people that do stop reading as soon a pairing they don't like shows up. It would upset me if that happened to this fic too, but in no way I was talking about you in particular. I said that just in case there _was _someone out there considering the idea. On the other hand, I hope you'll keep enjoying this story and, remember, there is no problem whatsoever if you skip every "Francis" chapter from here on. **

**: : : : : **

"You are awfully quiet today…"

"Huh?" I looked up at Lilly and I raised an eyebrow at her, confused by the light tinge of pink on her cheeks, as if she had said something inappropriate. I reassured her with a smile but, before I could explain myself, she continued:

"And I know it's not because of the rain…" she glanced out the window, at the little drops of water falling against the glass. It could be hardly called rain but, nevertheless, we took all the kids inside to play just in case. The weather was starting to get on my nerves. Since the day started, the sky didn't seem to make up its mind. A moment it was sunny, the next there was that light rain that incessantly tapped against the window and then, suddenly the sun was up in the sky again.

Terrible weather. I felt mocked because I, myself, couldn't make up my mind either.

Lilly was still looking at me, expecting an answer, I supposed, but I didn't know what to tell her. The problem was: there was nothing to explain.

"Oh, don't worry… it's nothing…" I told her in the end and she twisted her mouth slightly, clearly not buying it. One of the kids called her and I sighed in relief, because, for the time being I was safe.

And then, I was in my own world again.

Romano gave me his number and I couldn't stop wondering if it was just a joke. If it was, then that meant everything was over, right? But I was quite afraid to find out. If I called and it wasn't Romano's number, would that mean it was the ultimate sign of his lack of care? But if I called and it _was _Romano, would that mean that he was giving me a chance, now that I was so close to let everything go? Or he gave me his number for another reason entirely?

Doubts. Doubts. Doubts.

But it couldn't be a joke, because he really had been upset the other day. Those eyes… how can I forget those eyes? I hurt him, that much I was sure. But in _what way_ did I do that? What did I do wrong? The incident with Herakles shouldn't have had that much of an effect if he wasn't… he wasn't what? I didn't know that either.

Herakles didn't know Romano and so I could erase the eventuality that they were… ex-es or something too. My stomach started to hurt and I left that train of thought.

In any case, Romano had hurt me too.

Unintentionally, of course, and he doesn't know. But with his attitude I understood he doesn't care for me.

But why, then, did he give me his number? What was that supposed to mean? That after all he wants to stay in touch? If he wants me gone, why does he want me near?

Doubts. Doubts. Doubts. My head was hurting.

And here comes another problem. If I _did_ have a chance, did I ruin it with that incident with Herakles?

"Is it about a girl?" Lilly's voice shook me out of my thoughts once again. The girl she had been tending too was back to her toys again and Lilly had all her attention for me now. Damn it. She was blushing madly now, afraid she made a step too much, but I could see she was too curious to let it go. I'm never that silent, I could understand she was worried, but…

"A girl…?" I asked, repeating her question in my mind. Lilly seemed suddenly really uncomfortable and started stuttering:

"W-well… I supposed… I'm sorry if I was rude…" and looked down at her hands. I smiled softly at her and sighed. I could understand why Vash is so overprotective of her, she has that look of absolute innocence and she is too kind for her own good. Creatures like her need protection.

"I'm sorry…" I apologized instead, "I didn't mean to make you worry. It's just that I have a lot on my mind…"

"What is it?" she asked then, sitting down beside me, suddenly worried. I looked at the kids laughing and playing around us and for a moment I wished I was a kid myself, uncaring about this kind of things adults like so much to complicate their lives with.

"Someone gave me their number…" I started. "…and I don't know if to take it seriously or not…"

She oh-ed in understanding and nodded.

Until now I wouldn't have had that doubt. I don't know why, but with Romano, everything seemed different. If someone else had given me his or her number, I would have risked it. I would have called because there was fifty percent probability that the other wants me to.

With Romano everything is different. The whole world doesn't know what he wants and that puts things into another perspective. Moreover, I was quite afraid to know what Romano wanted from me.

"If it's a girl…" she started and I chuckled.

"No, it's not about a girl…" I admitted, before she could answer to my previous question. I smiled guiltily at her and she looked at me, startled for a moment, but then, suddenly, her face softened and I knew she had known all along.

"What do you want from him then?" she asked, surprising me. I blinked at her, because I never thought about it. At first I just wanted to take him to bed but even that seemed unimportant now.

"I don't know", I admitted. "I seriously don't know…"

"Then call him and find out", she said and smiled at me.

In that moment a lot of things happened: the bell rang, the kids started to pack their things and the rain stopped. I still wasn't sure what to do, but, all in all, Lilly was right and I had nothing to lose, not even my dignity. So, when we parted ways and made my way to the nearest bus stop, I took my phone out and stared at the screen for a long moment.

"What the hell…" I said. "Risk it", I clicked on the name's list. "If it's just a joke…", my finger lingered on the call button. I sighed. I looked away, up at the sky, then down at the screen again. "…if it's just a joke…", I whispered again. An old lady stared at me funny, a bus passed by, a couple laughed…

And then my thumb touched something and it started to ring.

Once.

Twice.

_"Yes?" _

My heart stopped. It was Romano's voice: low, annoyed, beautiful. I seriously considered hanging up and my voice was barely a whisper when I said:

"Romano…"

Now it was his turn to stop breathing. I heard him gasp and then silence for a long moment in which I thought he was going to shut the phone in my face.

And then everything would be over and I would call myself an idiot for even trying.

"So, did you call to brag about your night with that _man_?" he suddenly said, angry at me, slurring the last word as if it was poison. I could picture him gritting his teeth and holding the phone near his ear so tightly it could break at any time. "Was he fucking _good_? Did you have lots of _fun_?"

"Nothing happened yesterday…" I said and I was so surprised at how calm and relieved I felt in that moment. "He is just a friend of mine…" I lied. Romano didn't seem to believe me and tsk-ed at me from the other end. When he talked again, though, he seemed calmer and much less angry than before.

"I fucking don't believe you…" he said.

"Okay, maybe I didn't know him before yesterday…" I said, chuckling. "But, really, nothing happened."

With the second confession, Romano sighed and then said:

"Are you annoyed that it didn't?"

"No" and I meant it.

A moment of silence and then:

"_Why _did you call?"

I felt like smiling and I was taken aback when I felt my cheeks hurt from the grinning. I was happy: Romano still wasn't hanging up.

"I just finished work…" I said. "And I'm not far from your house… do you want to hang out or something?"

There. I said it and I waited for his response with my chest hurting from how fast my heart was going. Romano's answer was quick and I knew he was angry and blushing madly at the phone.

"W-what? No way, bastard! I'm not going on a fucking d-date with you, dammit!"

"I never said it was going to be a date!" I said then and I smiled when Romano shut up immediately. "Just walk a little around with me…" I continued.

"Walk around?" he exclaimed, "You are crazy!" he stopped and then a groan, "Listen, I— where are you now anyway?"

I told him. He groaned again.

"It's NOT a date, got it?" he shouted then. I nodded even if I knew he couldn't see.

"Of course it's not…" I said, serious.

"Keep that in mind, son of a bitch!" he shouted again and hung up. I looked up at the sun shining and smiled.

Romano came fifteen minutes later, blushing and stuttering and complaining about the dreadful way I dressed. I ignored his antics and asked him where we should head too.

"Why should _I_ care, bastard?" he exclaimed, "Go wherever you want… I'm staying right here!"

And so, I started to walk and he followed me. We started to aimlessly wonder around the city. I couldn't stop watching him as he walked side by side with me, not caring where we were going to as long as (he said) I didn't take him somewhere weird and tried anything funny.

"Or I'll kick your damned ass!" he yelled at me. Passersby stared at me when I started to laugh and agree my head off. Romano seemed happy about it and I noticed he was smiling smugly at me.

I told him about my day at work, just to start a conversation, he said my work sucked.

"I have a lot of younger cousins…" I said, "And I liked babysitting them when my uncles and aunts couldn't take care of them. I always thought that it would be nice to do that for a living…"

"I don't have cousins…" Romano said, "But Feliciano taught me how much a pain in the ass is having a little brother. So, no, your job isn't a nice way to make a living…"

"Oh, come on!" I grinned at him, "Feliciano surely isn't _that _bad!"

"Maybe when he is not fucking crying and stays the hell away from me!" Romano exclaimed, accompanying his words with his hands, "But he cried and still cries for the minimal, idiotic thing! It was annoying at hell! And then, not only I had to take care of that crybaby, but I had to put up with that annoying of my father too!"

My mind went back to that encounter with Julius Vargas. I shuddered and wondered what life was like with a dad like him.

"It's hell, I tell you!" Romano scowled, "At High School, for example, Feliciano started to learn German and he was fucking good at it. My father was so proud, the bastard! He dared to ask me to start learning another language too and to do something useful for once. He kept bothering me until I couldn't take it anymore…!"

"And you learnt Spanish…" I said then, with a smile, remembering our first encounter at the 'Nightwave'. Romano suddenly stopped and started at me hard. I laughed and I noticed his lips quirked up too, even if it was for just a little.

"Seriously, does that trick even work?" he mocked. I shrugged.

"Most of the time…" and laughed again. He snorted and whispered a "pathetic" under his breath. I kept smiling and Romano frowned at me.

"Anyway, yeah…" he continued then, "I started taking Spanish classes, because it's like Italian and I believed it was going to be easy for me…"

"If that's so, I want to learn Italian!" I said but Romano seemed to not take me seriously for he laughed.

"You'll never make it…" he teased me. "Italian is on a whole other level than Spanish!"

"Want to try me?" I asked then, grinning at him. He stared at me, his brows furrowing and I laughed at his expression. Romano scowled at me, crossed his arms over his chest and looked away. I wondered what he was thinking about, so deep in thought as he was, but I didn't dare to anger him. We kept walking side by side, in silence this time, and, suddenly, light rain started again and we ran to stand under a tree. We watched the cars pass by and I started talking about cars and he joined in the conversation.

And then we talked about colors. About how terrible the weather was and was it going to stop raining anytime soon? About each other countries. About nothing. About everything. And the conversation went on and on and we stood under that tree even after the rain had stopped and I felt so light, so free and so happy when he looked up at me and nodded with something I said.

It was like we had known each other forever but the truth was I didn't know anything about Romano.

Suddenly I realized: I wanted to.

I wanted to know him. I wanted one day to say that I knew Romano's favorite song, his favorite sleeping position or to recognize him just from the sound of his steps.

I suddenly became quiet and he looked up at me, suddenly confused and alarmed. His face was adorable, his lips opened slightly as if he wanted to say something but he couldn't find the words, and his hazel eyes stared at me, hard and scrutinizing. Romano is a mist of contradictions. I wanted to discover them all.

"What are you staring at, bastard?" he shouted, making a step back, unconsciously.

I looked at the way his cheeks turned red and pouted. It was in that moment that I realized how empty the street was and I looked up at the sky slowly turning red. The day was almost coming to an end but I didn't want it to be over yet. I looked down at Romano, who remained silent by my side, deep in though, looking at me but not really seeing me and he was so beautiful as the rays shed light on his cheeks, his lips rosy and soft.

My mouth spoke before I could think about what I was going to say.

"Would it be alright if I kissed you now?"

My words were answered with dumbfound silence. Romano's eyes widened comically and if it was possible he became even redder.

"W-w-what?" he exclaimed. "Don't say things like that, dammit!"

I suddenly panicked. Had I managed to ruin it all? But then… Romano still hadn't hit me. He was just staring at me, his eyes slowly damping, his lips were trembling and (what a surprise!) he hadn't moved away from me.

"D-don't you even dare!" he shouted again. I blinked and my eyes fell on his lips.

What I wanted to do was dangerous. Should I?

"Pervert!" Romano kept shouted and suddenly he made a step backward.

What I wanted to do was alluring. May I?

Romano stared at me, suddenly angry and he opened his mouth to say something insulting again.

Doubts, please, go to hell.

I leaned down.

I kissed him and whatever he had wanted to say died in his throat. I waited for the punch that never came and I grinned when I felt his hand clutching my shirt and pull me softly closer.

When he started kissing me back, I knew what heaven must feel like. I held him. He fit perfectly in my arms. But then, he pushed me away and slowly opened his eyes. Romano looked down and bit his lip and I wanted in that moment to just kiss him again and again and again… but he abruptly turned around, hiding his face from me.

"I need to fucking go to work!" he exclaimed and quickly walked away from me. I started at his back. I licked my lip: it was like he was still there.


	22. Gilbert 3

It was starting to piss me off.

I can have a LOT of patience but that was too much even for _me. _I mean, why? Why everybody was acting so strange and out of character? Don't they have any pity for _me_?

Antonio, for example. Why was he so damn happy all of a sudden? Okay, being happy for him is not really out of character, but, seriously, one day he was so deep in thought about what Romano had done and the next he was sparkling about, giving birth to rainbows every step he made. It was really annoying and whenever I asked for the reason why he just smiled at me and never answered.

I'm sure he doesn't have an answer for that. Probably he was into drugs or something…. He was always off to his little world and in the end I decided that he must have finally gotten laid and left it as that.

How un-awesome… not telling you got laid to your friends. Moreover, Antonio is so damn difficult! It's practically impossible to get into his head and no one can really understand what he is thinking. It makes thing worse!

And then we have Francis! He kept spacing out on _me _too but in a totally different manner than Antonio. Francis, that charming faggot, had something to hide and I knew it! Only, I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Something was eating him inside, making him completely miserable, and, you know what? I could feel his awful aura from miles away! Even when he pretended that everything was fine and smiled brightly at everyone.

I wondered what happened to him too, but the bastard didn't want to spit it out and it was getting on my nerves!

They pissed me off. Both of them. Didn't they understand that I had problems too? I didn't know where to go. I felt like I was in the middle of a battlefield, where un-awesome optimism faced un-awesome pessimism and didn't ask the awesome knight for help.

I wanted to talk to them about Matthew's strange behavior, because, yeah, he too was acting strange. Not in the same way Francis and Antonio did, something much less serious, but that troubled me nonetheless.

Matthew didn't space out on me and he didn't ignore me. (And, anyway, how can someone ignore me? It's PRACTICALLY impossible!). In fact, after that incident with his friend's brother (and, by the way, who was the stalker now, LOSER!) he acted much more normally than before. All that hesitancy in seeing me had disappeared and Matthew was suddenly happy when I called him again.

Which is strange, because that 'again' shouldn't exist. It meant that for a period of time he wasn't happy and that is not a good sign. Either way, it made me start thinking and that is not a good sign either.

The biggest question of it all was: what did I see in Matthew?

It troubled me. Matthew and I were (and are) quite different. Okay, 'quite different' is not the right phrase, we ARE completely opposites and with so few things in common that I wondered why we were still talking to each other. I don't need to list all the things that I am and he is not because they are quite a lot.

So, to answer my own question, I ask myself: what did I see in him that first time? What made me go and ask for his number? Because, maybe, going back to the beginning might help me more.

Reason number one: sex. Never underestimate it. But I still haven't made a move whatsoever and, apart from that little kiss on the cheek, nothing important had happened between us. And where is my manliness for God's sake?

Reason number two: he is good looking. He quite reminds me of Francis… wait. I don't want to think about Francis right now.

Reason number three: he was really kind.

Reason number four: well, he really seemed like the misunderstood guy… and, maybe, a little lonely as well. It's not really how it sounds. I didn't ask his number out of pity. It would be stupid and superficial. No, it's something else… I know someone who would have an answer to that… but… no. I'm not going to think about that bitch right now.

On the other, that girl… yeah… that girl he was with at that cafeteria. They seemed to have much more in common that Matthew and I did. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought they were married.

"Have you ever thought of marrying her?"

Matthew looked up with a start from the book he was reading and stared at me, confused. I waited for his answer and then he suddenly laughed:

"Why do you ask such a question?"

"Because, well, you seem like the perfect couple…" I said, straight to the point. Telling things in a roundabout way really annoys me. "She is nice, you are too. You are too good for your own damn good and, hell, she must have a patience THIS big if she can live with that idiot of her brother 24/7. If I was in HER place, I would have already killed him… twice… and… what was I saying?"

"That she is patient…" he said, calm, and put the book back into its place. He looked around the bookstore for a moment before continuing: "Strangely enough, you are right. She is."

"What do you mean STRANGELY ENOUGH?" I exclaimed. My voice made Ludwig turn to look away from one of the customers and stare at me. He shot me a murderous look; I ignored him with a gesture of my hand. Ludwig sighed loudly and continued talking to the little woman before him. Matthew laughed a little and then looked at me again.

"So, this store is yours?"

"Our parents gave it to Ludwig…" I explained, "Don't change conversation!"

He laughed again and Ludwig's attention was back to me:

"Gilbert! Stop shouting!" Ludwig exclaimed and I stuck my tongue out at him. He groaned and massaged his temples before he apologized to the little woman. "Sorry, about him…" he said, loud enough for me to hear, "I don't know why I still keep him here. He has that really bad habit of shouting in the most inappropriate times…"

"This is my voice! Deal with it!" I shouted back at him. Ludwig shot me another murderous look but this time he ignored me for good. The little woman looked at me then back at Ludwig and decided to ignore it all too.

"This store is amazing… you practically have everything!" Matthew said, gaining my attention again. He opened another book and read the first page.

"We have guidebooks, mostly…" I said. "My brother is a sucker for those… and PORN, obviously…"

"GILBERT!" Ludwig shouted. I chuckled and turned to look at Matthew again. I could picture Ludwig fuming on the other side of the bookstore but I didn't dare to turn around and see.

"You still haven't answered my question…" I continued then, serious.

"No, I never thought of marrying her", he said and then looked at me, amused. "Are you jealous?"

"Of course not!" I exclaimed. Matthew stared at me for a couple of seconds before he burst out laughing.

"You _do_ have a loud voice…" he said and put another book away. I grinned:

"Well, you talk too quietly…" I said, "Sometimes I can't even hear you!"

"Because your voice over-covers mine…" Matthew stated. I pouted.

"You are so mean!"

"Didn't you say I was nice before?"

"I take that back!" I exclaimed. Matthew laughed.

"Too late…" he looked into my eyes and I couldn't refrain from smiling.

"Gilbert! You are scaring the customers away!" Ludwig shouted again as soon as the little woman was out the door. "Do you want that new iPod or not?"

That made me shut up for good and I sighed.

"We should go upstairs…" I said then and I took Matthew by the hand. He shrugged and shot a last look at Ludwig before following me up to my room. I closed the door behind me and sighed. Damn Ludwig, for being such a blackmailer…

"I'm so jealous…" Matthew suddenly said, sitting down on my bed. "It must be so great to work here!"

"Are you kidding me?" I exclaimed and Matthew looked at me, confused. "It's a pain in the ass! It's boring. There is nothing but books here! No adventures, no gain whatsoever!" and sat down next to him.

"It's your brother's store, right?" Matthew asked then. I raised an eyebrow:

"Yeah, so?" I said, "Our parents knew that I wasn't interested in this place and gave it to Ludwig… wise decision if you ask me…"

"So, technically, you don't have any reason to work here unless you _do_ gain something from it. Something other than money…"

That took me aback and Matthew looked at me, straight in the eyes, searching for something. I couldn't stand his stare and looked away.

"Well…" I chuckled, "Do you really think that Ludwig can manage on his own?"

I could hear myself speaking and I knew I wasn't as convincing as I wanted to be.

"I don't see you killing yourself with work…" he said, "And I don't believe you are the kind of guy that doesn't want to do something useful in his life or can't do whatever he set his mind on, no matter how difficult it is…" he stopped for a moment and then smiled even wider. I gulped and I tried to laugh it away, but before I could say anything, he exclaimed:

"It's because you _care_ for your brother! You actually _love_ to work with him! Aww, isn't that cute?"

"Shut up!" I said and no! My cheeks weren't turning red. "I work here because this…" and I pointed to the room around us, "…it's where I live and it's more convenient that commuting all day long. Besides, Ludwig scares customers away with his seriousness, while my looks attract them. I help him with my awesomeness! It's a sacrifice I'm willing to ma—…"

"Oh, shut up!" Matthew said, grinning like a madman, "You are so sweet! Why don't you show this side of you more?"

I thought about all the things I could say, but his eyes were too bright and his smile so beautiful, that I couldn't bring myself to lie anymore. I sighed:

"Just don't tell him, okay?"

His face softened and I felt suddenly exposed.

"I wished I had the same relationship with your brother as you do…" he said then, "You are really lucky…"

"It's not as great as you think it is…" I said instead and he shook his head and laughed.

"Probably…" he agreed and smiled at me. Now that I think about it, he doesn't look like Francis at all. Matthew's features are too soft and his smile is much more pure. The only thing they really had in common was the way he looked at me: it made me feel really uncomfortable.

And here goes reason number five: he understands me. He knows what its like to feel alone when surrounded by people. Probably, the most important reason out of the five.

Only one person had managed to understand me so completely before Matthew and the fact made me anxious, angry even, but I managed to hide it well and ignored it for the time being. It wasn't going to be for long and the opportunity to mess everything up was going to come sooner that I imaged but, for now, I just stood up and exclaimed:

"It's time that I introduce you to my pet chick!"

Matthew stared at me, taken aback, and when my little yellow chick finally came out of his hiding place, he yelped in surprise.

"Where had it been hiding all this time, eh?" he exclaimed,

"I trained him well, didn't I?" and laughed when the little fellow flied over to my head.

Later that day, when I waved goodbye to a smiling Matthew, I decided to go and help Ludwig out in the bookstore. The bookstore was closed and Ludwig had planned to go out to dinner with his little, cute boyfriend but he was still there, working.

"Aren't you going to be late for you date?" I grinned, taking one of the books from Ludwig's hand and sticking the price on it. He glanced at me and sighed.

"It is not a date… it's just a dinner with a friend…" he said and took another book.

"Yes, of course…" I chuckled, "I forgot that this was they new way to name things…", I ignored Ludwig's look and said: "Come on, stop being such a control freak and let me handle it for once, 'kay?"

Ludwig hesitated (the idiot) but, fortunately for him, he let go of the book he was holding and put it away. He sighed and went to where the main desk was and put something in his pocket.

"Are you sure you are going to make it?" he asked then, suddenly worried. I shot him a hurt look and he sighed again.

"Why do I put up with you?" he asked then, massaging his temples. I knew he felt anxious about dating Feliciano, that the fact was scaring him shitless, and that he was procrastinating. I felt my lips turn into a smile at that and then I exclaimed:

"It's obvious! You love me!" I grinned, he snorted and looked at me once more.

"Well… I'll be home before eleven…" he said then, after much hesitation. I groaned.

"Oh, go and have fun you two! God knows how much you need to release that tension of yours!"

"Please, refrain from saying embarrassing things like that… it's just dinner…" he blushed hard, thinking my words over. I laughed and waved at him, nonchalantly.

"What-EVER you say, brother dear…" I said and kept doing my work, showing him that I really was going to do what I had to.

"Well…" he said then, still uncertain, "See you later…"

"Have fun~" I teased. "And use a condom!"

I chuckled as Ludwig started stuttering. I looked over my shoulder to see him blush and a moment later he walked out the bookstore. It's funny how much importance Ludwig gave to just a date. My silly brother was in love…

Love. What a silly thing…

It managed to turn my obsessed, control freak of a brother in a blushing man that just can't say no. It was cute, in a way.

But really dangerous.

And I wasn't far from danger, either.


	23. Francis 4

In case you were wondering, I didn't have a plan whatsoever. I really didn't know what to do, what to say and how deal with things without getting into a fight, which was highly possible, considering it's _us _we are talking about.

The only thing I knew was that I wanted answers.

I just didn't know how to get them.

For once in my life I was jealous of my friends, Antonio and Gilbert, who could go straight to the point without much of a thought. It's not very diplomatic, and I completely oppose it, but sometimes it looks like the best plan and, probably, I should try it for once and take that course of events.

It wasn't going to work, was it?

I sighed again before I rang the bell once again. I ran a hand through my hair, my stomach a mess, as I waited before Arthur's apartment's door. Suddenly, the door opened and there was Arthur, staring at me, his eyes turning into slits as soon as he realized it was me.

I smiled. What else could I do?

"What do you—" he started immediately but my smile made him stop in his tracks. He looked at me confused for a moment, then, drawing a sigh, he made a step back to let me in. I walked in as nonchalantly as I could, given the circumstances, and took off the coat while he softly closed the front door.

"There is something wrong with you…" he stated then, looking back at me, his eyebrows furrowed. I laughed it off and sat down on the only couch he had in the living room.

"Oh, no, my dear!" I said. "There's nothing wrong with me! Why don't we talk about you instead?" I exclaimed motioned him to join me on the couch. Arthur looked really annoyed by my antics and folded his arms.

"Spill it, Francis…" he said instead, "What's wrong?"

"Actually, there is something on my mind…" I said, trying to look as laid-back as possible. Arthur narrowed his eyes at me and waited for me to say something. I laughed again and decided to drop the hint, as they say: "I've been thinking about it since the last time we went to the Nightwave…" I started. Arthur looked even more confused but remained silent, "…where I noticed a couple of things…"

To say Arthur seemed pissed off would be an understatement.

"So what?" he exclaimed, suddenly on edge. "What is it?"

"So… how long have you and Alfred been dating?" I eventually asked, straight to the point, as Gilbert would have had. That seemed to do the trick and Arthur suddenly paled at my words. He coughed into his hand and looked away from me.

"What are you talking about, git?" he shouted, "Dating! You must be on drugs!" he exclaimed. His tone of voice seemed disappointed, angry even and it was my turn to narrow my eyes at him.

"So, there is _nothing_ between you two?"

Arthur abruptly turned to look at me, his cheeks still red, which I would find cute if my stomach hadn't suddenly started stirring. He still hasn't answered me and that was making me feel quite… strange, to say the least.

"That's a lot of bollocks!" he stated then, "I can't even understand where you got such a daft idea!"

"Well…" I said, "You did seem quite… interested in him…" I said. "Was I wrong?"

Arthur stared at me, his mouth opened and closed a few times, then he decided:

"There is nothing between us…" he said, "Forget you ever saw anything."

"So you do have feelings for him…" I suddenly stated, not restraining myself anymore. Arthur shot me a look and unconsciously made a step backwards. I realized that I probably sounded very hostile and I tried to calm myself.

Arthur turned around and looked away from me and that was the answer I searched for.

"You love him and he doesn't know…" I said then and I suddenly realized that I had abruptly stood up. "You actually love him!"

Arthur looked at me again, his hands into tight fists but his face so lost, that it made me want to…

"Why do you care anyway?" he suddenly exclaimed, regaining composure, "What if I did? How important is this for you?" he asked, angry.

"Oh, well a lot!" I spat back, "Since it's so obvious you love _me_ too!"

"What?" Arthur screeched. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "You are mad!"

We stared at each other for what I felt like an age. I didn't know what to feel, whether angry or hopeful. In the end I felt a little bit of both and that didn't make me feel that better, either.

"You are being ridiculous!" Arthur continued, massaging his forehead and trying not to look at me in the eyes. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Explain to me the name you gave to the nightclub, then…" I said. Arthur seemed confused for a moment.

"Why would _that_ show I love you?" he exclaimed.

"Seriously, Arthur…" I said, laughing. "I'm not as stupid as you claim I am. The Nightwave sounds ridiculously close to what you told me that day at the beach… you do remember, I suppose…"

Arthur seemed at loss with words, but, suddenly, he was angry again.

"You are such a selfish git, you know that?" he exclaimed, "Why you think everything turns around you? What if it's just a coincidence? Have you ever thought of that?"

"So you do remember that day?" I exclaimed, instead. Arthur gaped at me and he bit his lips. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

Things were getting out of hand… why do things always get out of hand when Arthur is concerned?

"Why shouldn't I remember it, wanker?" Arthur suddenly shouted, surprising me with his honesty, "It was my first kiss! Which I lost to a selfish barbarian like yourself! Happy now?" he raised his hands in the air before he crossed them over his chest once again.

"Your first kiss?" I said, quite taken aback. That was unexpected. Arthur looked away and I knew he was angry at himself for spilling it out. I quickly walked over to him and put my hands on his shoulders, making him turn his attention back to me once more.

I swear I never saw his green eyes as angry as they were in that moment.

"Why you never told me?" I asked him then. He snorted.

"And why should I tell you, arsehole?" he exclaimed, "It was a freaking accident and if I gave it more importance than that you would have made fun of me!"

"I wouldn't have done that!" I exclaimed, he smiled bitterly at me, "You should have told me you were in love with me!", at my (should I say, wrong choice of) words Arthur's mouth thinned and he slapped my hands away.

"Put it in your dim head that I _wasn't _in love with you!" he exclaimed, stepping away from me, "It was just a bloody crush and a stupid one at that! I was an idiot and…"

"Still, if I knew…" I said, cutting him off. Arthur suddenly fumed and turned back to me.

"You would have _what_?" he shouted then, "Pitied me? Gave it a chance? What?" he laughed, "Should I remind you were so head over heels with that nancy-boy of Antonio? Should I remind you what you told me that day you made that barmy pact? That you couldn't love anybody else but him! Yes, the pact! Did you think I had forgotten all about it? How can I trust someone that swore not to ever fall in love? You don't commit! Even if you give it a chance, you would soon leave me for someone else! And I'm not a toy, you got it, you… you…", he searched for the right insult, panting from all the shouting.

"Do you think I'm that kind of guy?" I exclaimed, suddenly angry. Arthur stared at me and burst out laughing.

"You ARE that kind of guy!" he exclaimed. "The only person you would have committed to was Antonio! And I am not important as he is to you, am I!"

"I'm not in love with Antonio anymore, am I?" I suddenly exclaimed. Arthur stared at me, taken aback and I stared back at him, in defiance.

There was a moment of silence, his eyes wide, then suddenly he burst out laughing.

"Oh, that's sweet!" he exclaimed, amused. "You love _me _now?"

I remained silent and turned my back to him. Arthur kept laughing.

"Let me guess…" he said, "You realized you love me, when you saw I was interested in Alfred, did you? It's always like this with you… William… Victoria… and now the things you are telling me… you do things just to spite me… and…"

"_Mon Dieu, _what the hell are you talking about! I realized it when you fucking disappeared!" I suddenly shouted back. My own words took me completely by surprise and Arthur's eyes too became wide.

Oh, God. It was true. All the problems have started then, haven't they?

"Do you know how much it hurt?" I suddenly said, spilling my heart out as I should have done long ago. "Do you know how much it hurt when I couldn't reach you and not know why? Why did you disappear like that?" I said then, my voice a little calmer but still angry.

Arthur stared at me straight in the eyes. His features were hard, his eyes were cold and I knew he was trying with all his might not to hit me. I knew because, probably, I was looking the same.

"It wasn't easier for me either…" he said, his voice shaking with emotion, "But you know, it hurt more staying by your side and listen to you talk about your love for Antonio… I'm so glad that those times are over and that now I _might _find someone that will not hurt me as much as you did. Alfred is kinder than you and…"

Alfred. Alfred. Alfred. That name was starting to make me sick. Even the fact that he knew nothing about Arthur's feelings didn't make me feel any better.

"So you think he can take my place, huh?" I said, laughing. I didn't know what I was saying anymore. Arthur gritted his teeth.

"It's not like that…"

"But he is _not _interested, is he?" I continued. Arthur folded his arms. He wanted to hurt me and I could see it. Still, I kept talking: "Does he love you back? Does he show any interest?"

"That is none of your business!" Arthur spat. "All you have to know is that he is way better than you! He isn't a bastard like you, he won't hurt me like you do, he won't let me down like you do and…"

"… and he doesn't know shit about you!" I said. "Not like I do!"

"That doesn't give you any right on me!" Arthur shouted. "Did you think that now that you confessed to me, I was going to fall in your arms? Are you that pathetic? I don't believe a shit you are saying, you know that? You just want to toy with my emotions and take away the only person that may make me happy!"

"He is not interested in you…" I said.

"Well, maybe not! But I'm used to unrequited feelings, anyway!" Arthur shouted and suddenly walked over to the front door. With a loud 'bam' he opened it and stared at me.

"Leave!" he exclaimed suddenly and motioned with his head to the door. I remained where I was. He groaned and slammed the door close once again.

"I'm serious, Arthur…" I said. Arthur looked at me, then glanced at the door.

"Either way your chance is gone…" Arthur said, "Leave", he whispered then. He put his hand on the door's handle once again, but he didn't open the door just yet.

"Why don't you trust me?" I suddenly asked. Arthur stared at me in disbelief. "Why you don't believe me and think that all of the things I'm saying are true?"

"We aren't friends." Arthur stated, "I have no reason to trust you…"

I sighed, nodded and took my coat. I walked over to him. He watched every move of mine.

"Yes, you are right. We never were _friends_…" I said when I stood in front of him. Arthur's hold on the door's handle tightened and opened the door. I walked out of Arthur's apartment and cringed as the door banged close.

With Arthur it always felt this way.

It was like we were separated by sea but we could still see each other perfectly. He would stand on the other shore, mock me, talk to me, and I would do the same, sitting comfortably in my own territory.

Both would know that if we stretched our hands, we could feel each other fingertips.

I wondered if he would have accepted my hand, if I never agreed to that pact. I wondered if I would be truly happy now if that pact had never existed.

But you know what? Some things are just not meant to be.

With that thought in mind, I walked away.


	24. Chapter 17

It wasn't just a hunch. No. I _was sure _that Romano was going to ignore what happened between us and even walk away from me whenever I turned up. Of course, I was sure that he was going to kick me to death when I kissed him too and, well, I'm still alive!

So, I could be wrong.

Either way, I didn't want to risk losing the thing (thing? Oh, well, I can't find another word for what we had that day) I managed to get after so much pursuing. It would be a shame to go back to when Romano didn't want to even see me.

I decided: I wasn't going to let him ignore me.

I would have if he hadn't kissed me back. After all, I said that I wasn't going to have any more doubts. Oh, how much I wanted to do it again. To see him blush that way again. To hear him moan against my lips. To feel his hands… no, Antonio, focus!

What was I saying? Oh, yeah. The opportunity to put my plan into action came immediately. Luck was on my side, it seemed, and I'm not someone who let opportunities go that easily.

What Luck handed to me was an announcement on a newspaper I happened to buy that afternoon, before I headed home from work. I flipped the pages absentmindedly, not really interested in any article in particular, until I stumbled upon _it_, black on white. I read it once, re-read it immediately afterwards and it took a while to understand how important of an announcement was for Romano and I. I smiled widely, memorized the address and took the phone out.

Romano answered at the first ring.

"What do you want?" he said, not really angry but quite curious. I grinned even if I knew he couldn't see me.

"Guess what!" I said. He groaned from the other side.

"I'm not in the mood for such games! If you want to apologize then—"

"They are selling an old restaurant! It's on the Main Road and we totally should go check it out!" I blurted out, not containing myself. Romano's shock was obvious by the way he suddenly shut up. I didn't even listen to what he said, I suddenly noticed.

"I'm sorry…" I said then, "Did you say something?"

"No…" he said after a moment of silence, "Err… what did _you_ say?"

"We probably found the perfect place for you, Romano!" I smiled. "A restaurant!"

"W-we?… err…a… a restaurant…?" Romano was at loss with words, "Are you on drugs?"

"Come on!" I said, "We have nothing to lose! Let's go check it out! Today! I'll come pick you up in an hour, what do you say?"

I was enthusiastic. Romano not so much.

"Do you listen to yourself speaking?" Romano was suddenly angry, "I'm not capable of running a restaurant! I'm alone, I don't have anyone and… and…" he suddenly sounded disappointed, "…what about money, bastard? What if I don't have enough?"

"You are so funny, Romano…" I laughed, "I'm here, remember?"

"W-what?" Romano exclaimed. I could picture him blush and I suddenly felt my heart beat faster. He immediately started swearing at me, stuttering his words in such a cute manner I caught myself smiling softly at the phone. I didn't register a word he said.

"You are an idiot…" was his last phrase before he fell silent.

"So? Are we going to see this place?" I asked when he calmed down.

"If you stop pestering me about it, bastard!" Romano exclaimed. "It's lost time, anyway!"

"Sweet! I'll be there in an hour with my car!" I smiled again.

"What the hell…" he sighed, "Y-yeah… fine, if you are such a motherfuc—…"

I laughed and he hung up.

An hour later he was waiting for me before his building, arms crossed, pouting and deep in thought. I stopped just before him and he narrowed his eyes at me, before hopping in the passenger's seat. I smiled at him. As always, he just scowled.

"Your idea is ridiculous…" he said. I just started the car and made my way for the Main Road. Romano stared at me, then he rolled the window down and started fiddling with the radio. "Antonio…"

"Yes, Romano?" I asked, my eyes on the road.

"Your idea of music sucks!" he said.

"I know you are nervous…" I said instead, "But I'm here. We are just going to see the place, ask a few questions, see how much it costs and go home…"

"I'm not nervous, bastard!" Romano immediately shouted. I rolled my eyes and glanced at Romano's pensive face.

"What if it fails… what if my father is right?" he whispered, more to the road outside than to me. In the meantime I had found the place and decided to park just outside it. As soon as I stopped the car, I put a hand over Romano's thigh. He shot me a look.

"Your cooking is great…" I said as he stared at me, hard, "And restaurants with great cooks never fail!" I continued. Romano wasn't convinced and it showed. I smiled at him. "Let's go!" and opened the door. He groaned and followed me outside.

The place wasn't big but it had a homey look on it I immediately liked. The main entrance was open, there were no decorations on the front wall and there was an empty space where the restaurant's previous name had been. It looked like no one was there, as there were no lights and no music. I imagined the restaurant crowed with people, laughing, as soft Italian music played in the background. My point of view was really cliché but I liked it.

I looked over at Romano, who was staring at the front door as if a monster was going to jump out of it and eat him whole. I opened my mouth to encourage him but he surprised me by walking straight inside alone. I smiled and followed him in.

Inside it was much better than the outside, it looked even more like home. There were photos lining on the walls, while the tables and the chairs were all crowed in one angle with boxes scattered all around the floor.

"It is spacious…" Romano said and I nodded. "Is anybody here?" he suddenly whispered, turning back to me.

"The door was open…" I whispered back, "Hello?" I suddenly exclaimed. There was a noise from the kitchen and suddenly a man's voice calmly said:

"I'll be there in a second…"

Romano and I shared a look and watched as a man slowly came to meet us. I widened my eyes and smiled. He seemed surprised too and he looked at us, pleased.

"Hello, Antonio…" he said, "I never expected to see you again…"

"Me neither, Herakles…" I smiled. Romano's eyes became slits and made a step closer to me. Herakles looked at Romano and greeted him with a:

"Hello, I'm Herakles…"

"Romano Vargas…" Romano said, bitter. The nervous look on his face had disappeared and was replaced by something more aggressive, something I really couldn't understand. Whatever it was Herakles didn't seem impressed much by it and just smiled at him, before shooting a glance at me.

"I suppose you are here to see the place…" he said then, his voice slowly. Romano made another step closer to me and I suddenly felt his arm brushing mine.

"Yes, I am the one interested…" Romano said, surprising me once more with his bluntness. Herakles nodded and motioned him to follow him. Romano didn't move.

"Well, this is my cousin's…" Herakles said, sighing, and looked around him. "Despite the business going well, he had to return to Greece, so he asked me to find someone to sell it…", he looked at me and caressed one of the tables before walking slowly to the kitchens. Romano and I followed him as he showed us around. "As you see, everything is equipped well…" Herakles continued. Romano shot a look at him then at me and with tentative steps made to see for himself. Herakles remained silent as Romano inspected the place.

"I would be glad to sell it to you…" Herakles said after a while, "At least I would know it's in good hands…"

"It's Romano's decision…" I said. Herakles nodded.

"As you see the place is not that big, so the selling price is not that much…" the Greek said, "Moreover the guys that used to work here are friends of mine and will be glad to work with you too…"

"Did you hear, Romano?" I exclaimed, my smile turning bigger by the second. It was really a good opportunity. Romano shouldn't let it go! Romano walked back to me and stared at Herakles straight in the eyes.

But before he could say anything, someone came in from the front door. The three of us watched as a, presumably Japanese man, entered, carrying a big plastic bag with him. He looked at us with his big, black eyes and bowed slightly.

"Oh, I'm sorry" he said, "Did I interrupt you?"

I noticed Herakles posture change subtly and I watched him walk over the smaller man, taking the plastic bag from the other's hands. The guy protested but soon enough let Herakles helped him. Herakles put the plastic bag away, on one of the tables.

"They are interested in buying the restaurant…" Herakles finally explained, putting a hand around the other's shoulders. "This is Kiku, my boyfriend…" said then. Kiku suddenly blushed and shot an unreadable look at Herakles.

"Don't say such inappropriate things…"

I glanced at Romano and saw him relax incredibly.

"And those are Antonio and Romano…" Herakles continued, pointing correspondently at us. I smiled at Kiku, he nodded.

"I hope you are satisfied with the place…" he said.

"Very…" I said and Romano kicked me. I looked at him, confused. He scowled at me.

"I still need some time to think, bastard!" he whispered at me, "Don't rush things!"

"You can take all the time you want…" Herakles said, making Romano tense. "We should exchange numbers, in case you need to…"

"Yes, of course!" I said, taking my phone out. Romano's displeasure was visible and he suddenly grabbed my arm, taking the phone from my hands.

"I believe _I _should give him _my_ number!" Romano exclaimed, "Not you!"

Herakles raised an eyebrow and looked at me. I couldn't decipher his look.

"Don't worry, I won't try to take Antonio away from you…" Herakles suddenly said, taking us all by surprise. I stared at him and so did Romano, who became redder than a mature tomato. Romano stuttered something that looked like:

"It's not like that!" and "Mind your own business!"

But before things could get nasty, Kiku butted in.

"Herakles, please. Don't talk so straightforwardly to clients…"

"I'm sorry…" Herakles said, sharing a look with Kiku, "I didn't mean to be rude…"

"Of course you didn't…" I said, smiling at them.

"Shut up, bastard!" Romano insulted me, his eyes not leaving his mobile's screen. Herakles took the hint and told him his number. As the two talked about business, Kiku sighed and proceeded to take the things he bought out of the plastic bag. I watched him as he quickly and methodically tidy his things up. I suddenly remembered Herakles' words that night at the club. They really were very different.

Completely opposites, even.

I noticed the little looks they shared and the smiles. I felt a little jealous, I must admit that I would have liked if Romano looked at me like that.

"So, call if you made up your mind…" Herakles was saying. Romano nodded and made his way to the exit. He shot me a look and said goodbye to Kiku, who was working on something I couldn't see, before he walked out.

Herakles approached me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"He is the bartender, isn't he?" he asked. I looked at him before I nodded.

"Yeah… I'm sorry if he offended you in any way…" I continued, "He's not… that open to people…"

"It's all right…" Herakles said. Kiku looked at us, I smiled at him, and he continued doing his business.

"I hope we'll see each other again…" I said, "It's Romano's dream to open a restaurant. I'm trying to help him but he is really insecure…"

"I understand…" Herakles said, "Are you two…" he suddenly asked, never finishing the question.

"I don't really know…" I smiled at him, "It's quite complicated."

"In the end, nothing is that complicated…" Herakles said and patted me on the back. "He must be waiting for you…" he continued, walking back to Kiku.

"Yes, probably…" I smiled, "See you! Nice to meet you, Kiku!" I exclaimed. I made my way to the door and noticed with the corner of my eyes Herakles lean down and kiss Kiku on the lips.

Romano was there, waiting for me. I hopped in the driver's seat.

"You sure took your sweet time…" he groaned.

"I just talked a little more with Kiku…" I lied, "He seemed a really nice man…"

Romano humph-ed and looked out the window.

"They are so different, aren't they?" he asked then, "I don't understand how such different persons can work together!" he continued, "Wouldn't this Herakles be happier with someone… someone more… laid-back like him? I could see him with you…" he said then and blushed.

"With me?" I asked, confused.

"You must have more things in common than he has with that Kiku…" Romano continued, not looking at me. "Relationship between so different persons never work, trust me…"

I looked at Romano's red face and suddenly I felt like smiling.

"We just have to wait and see, don't we?" I said. Romano looked at me, confused and slightly embarrassed.

"Maybe…" he agreed in the end and I felt like I was on cloud nine.


	25. Ten years before

_Ten years before…_

Children's laughter felt like music in my ears. The way the swings moved was hypnotizing and the little girls and boys playing made me want to leave my bicycle and go play with them. I knew I couldn't, of course. It would be awkward. I just wanted to return a kid myself again, unaware of the bad things going on in this world, not really understanding what school was exactly and only caring about winning at hide and seek.

I didn't have many memories from when I was a child. I wondered if it was normal to forget that easily and I thought it really was a shame if things were really that way. Nevertheless, as I watched the kids play, I really wondered if taking care of them would be the perfect job for me, or maybe… I could be an astronaut. No, being an astronaut was out of the question. It would turn me claustrophobic… I could work in the fields, maybe? To have a field full of tomatoes wouldn't be that bad, would it? After all, I loved staying outside. It was much better than staying all day long in an office, doing paperwork. That would suck.

Damn.

Why everybody else had so clear ideas on their future? Francis wanted to work in the fashion; Gilbert wanted to be a policeman. What did I want to do? Oh, I wanted to be a kid again, when the job of the pirate seemed actually possible. A pirate… I could become a pirate. I'll have a sword. No, better a gun. And a hat! I would look so cool. That would show Kirkland…

"Hey, pedo! Stop staring and let's go! We are late!"

I suddenly looked over my shoulder to see Gilbert riding his bicycle over to me. His face was tired, he had black bags under his eyes and he was yawing. I twisted my mouth in annoyance.

"Where have you been? I've been waiting you for ages!", I exclaimed when he stopped besides me. Red orbs shot me an irritated look and then Gilbert sighed.

"I overslept…" he said matter-of-factly, "And Ludwig couldn't wake me up…", he shrugged and started moving away from me.

"You are so lucky…" I chuckled and followed him, "…to have two mums, I mean. And he's what? Thirteen?"

"Who? Ludwig?" Gilbert grinned, shooting me a look from over his shoulder. "I swear. He is perfect for the job!"

I laughed as we rode to school. Gilbert laughed in his unique way and crossed the road even if the streetlights had just turned red. I tried to keep up with him and I sped up, almost colliding with two twins, with strange hair-curls on each side of their head, that were waiting patiently on the other side of the road. My bravado was rewarded with the drivers' and one of the two boy's heavy insults. I didn't even look at them when shouting my apology and drove faster to Gilbert, who was laughing his ass off, waiting for me.

"You should see your face!" he laughed. I showed him my middle finger and said:

"Don't do it again! It's dangerous!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!", he dried the tears from his eyes and continued riding his bike, "But, man! Wasn't it fun?"

"No…" I just said then I sighed, "Mr. Pimple is going to be so angry with us for being late…" I shot him a look, "…again. And today is the test… he'll…"

"Oh, don't worry about that ass…" Gilbert said, climbing down his bike. I looked up at the school's entrance and I noticed with discontentment that the backyard was already empty of students. We left our bicycles and run inside.

"My mother didn't let me use the computer for a whole month the last time it happened…" I said then, walking besides him, "I don't want to experience such a loss again!"

"I'll let you use mine…" Gilbert grinned but his smile disappeared in an instant when we arrived just before our class. We shared a look and knocked on the door. Mr. Pimple immediately ordered us to come in and we went in with tentative steps. The professor shot us a murderous look, his face full of pimples, making him much scarier, but he didn't say anything. Unexpectedly, he just roughly gestured us to sit down.

"As you can see the other's have already started." Mr. Pimple said, "Because of your unpunctuality I'll be much harsher with your final marks…"

We groaned and I looked around, where my classmates were already writing. Francis shot as a worried look from up his blank paper, and I gestured over to Gilbert, who had sat already down behind Elizabeta, who didn't even look up when Gilbert whispered her hello. Francis nodded in understanding at me and looked down at his paper again. Before Francis sat my nemesis, Arthur, who at first sight seemed to know the answers to the test, but when I walked near him to go to my own sit behind Francis, I noticed he was drawing something on his desk instead, rather than writing his answers down. Arthur looked up at me and his big eyebrows quirked up. I ignored him and sat down.

"Arthur! What's the answer for question 3?" Francis whispered, kicking Arthur's chair with his right leg.

"Hell if I know…" Arthur whispered back. "Do you know 4?"

"Silence!" Mr. Pimpled said, standing up and coming towards us. Arthur and Francis tensed up, but Mr. Pimple ignored them.

"You have half an hour, Mr. Carriedo…" Mr. Pimple said, handing me the test, "Don't lose precious time!" and then made his way to Gilbert.

I read the questions and sighed. I knew just a bunch of them. I looked around: everyone seemed to know much more than I did and was writing furiously down on their paper. Suddenly, I met black orbs, staring at me from the other side of the room. My heart stopped.

The girl with long black hair smiled at me. I smiled back and she giggled before returning her attention to the test.

"Twenty-five minutes!" Mr. Pimple shouted. I groaned and started writing.

And here, in this point of time, I present you P. She wants us to call her like that, because she doesn't like her real name much, and I comply. Sometimes I tell her that if I keep using her pet name I'll end up forgetting her real one. She says she doesn't mind.

She is beautiful, she is smart, and she is everything I ever wished for. I'm head over heels for her and I never want this feeling to disappear. We had been dating for eight months now, and in two months we are going to have our first anniversary. Despite going to class together I never really gave much attention to her before. We started talking thanks to a project we had to do and in the end we ended up falling in love. Isn't life beautiful?

She only dated football players before me and she always says that she is so glad to have found a guy like me. I'm always happy when she says stuff like that. She is tolerant with my friends and, unfortunately, she likes Arthur a lot. She told me I shouldn't worry, though, that she just finds him pleasant to be with. I believed her and left it as that.

At school we are popular, we are known as the Bad Touch Trio, and everybody wants to be around us. Since P. became my girl, people had started to notice her more and talk more to her at every occasion they had. She always tells me she doesn't like the attention, that she's shy. I once told her she shouldn't worry, that they will get over it eventually and they were going to leave her alone sooner that she expected. She nodded but I thought I saw a flicker of disappointment in her eyes before it disappeared completely. I believed she was disappointed that they weren't over it _just yet_ and left it as that.

"Why were you late today?" she asked me when we were finally free for the first break of the day. "I was so worried..."

Francis and Gilbert shared an annoyed look. I ignored it.

"It's Gilbert's fault…" I said and smiled at her. She giggled.

"Hey!" Gilbert shouted.

"We made it anyway, didn't we?", I continued, ignoring Gilbert's protest. I leaned down and kissed her. She smiled against my lips and when the kiss was over, she said:

"It's beautiful, isn't it?", she pulled her shirt a little down and showed me the gold necklace I given her as a gift some days before. I smiled and caressed the gift with two fingers. She was shining. Francis and Gilbert shared another look but didn't say anything.

"It is…" I just said. How many gifts had I given to her? Too many to count, but I just loved the face of pure joy she made when I did. She smiled brightly at me and kissed me again, before she said:

"I need to go now. I need to find my friend Angela before next class…"

"Yes, of course. See you later…" I said and she waved at me as she walked away from me.

"I never liked her…" Francis said, crossing his arms over his chest. I grimaced: we already went through this conversation and I didn't want to fight. Francis knew too so he didn't press the matter and changed topic, turning to look at Gilbert, with a smirk evident on his face.

"What is it?" Gilbert exclaimed, feeling suddenly on edge. Francis smirked even more.

"Who were you thinking about, last night?" Francis said, leering. Gilbert's pale face became red and I raised an eyebrow at his obviously troubled reaction.

"No one, idiot!" he said a little too quickly, "I lost time surfing the net!"

It was plausible but Francis wasn't convinced. He smirked even more lecherously and opened his mouth to say something back when suddenly I noticed Elizabeta and Arthur walking side by side towards us. Both Francis and Gilbert dropped their bickering and turned around to look at them. They were talking about something we couldn't hear and suddenly Elizabeta looked up, glanced at Gilbert for a second, before saying something to Arthur with a smile.

"Why didn't Elizabeta come this way? She usually does…" I wondered out loud. Francis too seemed surprised and only Gilbert looked like it was perfectly normal.

"Did something happen between you two?" Francis asked, turning to look at Gilbert in question. Gilbert was deep in thought and it took him a while to register what Francis had asked.

"Eh?" he said, "No, nothing…" and felt silent again. Francis turned to look at me. I knew what he was thinking: Gilbert had been acting odd lately and we needed to find out what happened.

In that moment Arthur waved goodbye at Elizabeta, turned to look at us and made a bee line to where Francis stood. I watched him walk towards us and looked at those too-revealing jeans he was wearing. I wondered for a moment how could Arthur wear grandpa's clothes one day and wear the most in fashion clothes the next, clothes that had a Francis-taste on them. Gilbert told me once that Francis chooses them for Arthur. I didn't know if it was true or he was just teasing.

A moment later Arthur was standing next to Francis, nodded at us both, his eyes lingering on me more than usual, and then said:

"I need to speak to you…"

Francis' eyebrow shot up and smirked:

"Are these jeans a sign you desperately need attention down there?"

"Seriously, git…" Arthur said annoyed, "This is not the time. I need to speak to you… alone…" he added after a moment of thought. He grabbed Francis' arm and pulled.

"Don't ruin my favorite sweater, _rosbif_!" Francis exclaimed instead. "I'm sure it's nothing important. You can tell me here…"

Arthur groaned, grabbed Francis' ear-lobe and painfully pulled him down. Arthur whispered something on Francis' ear and every protest on our friend's lips died in his throat.

"What?" he screeched. Arthur let go of his ear and grabbed his arm again. Francis and Arthur stared at each other for long, before Francis found what he was searching for and looked at me. "Oh, err…" Francis said then, "…we'll be back soon!" and followed Arthur quickly away.

Gilbert shared a look with me.

"What was that all about?" I exclaimed. Everyone was acting so weird, lately. It was starting to be annoying.

"Bites me…" Gilbert said, still watching Francis and Arthur walk away, suspicious, "This is so un-awesome…"

"Should we follow them?" I said then. Gilbert looked at me, curious for a moment, but then shook his head in disagreement.

"If it's important, Francis will tell us…" he decided in the end. I nodded because I knew it was true and without another word we walked together to the cafeteria to eat something.

Three days passed before the question about what happened finally got an answer. In this three days Francis kept looking at me strange and I could see there was a battle going inside his head. Arthur was annoying as usual, nothing strange there. Gilbert was less pompous than usual, especially if Elizabeta was around, but that had been going on for a month now and no one was paying attention to it anymore.

That day, something changed in the air. I didn't know what exactly but I knew it was serious the moment Arthur came to me, while I was sitting alone, after class had ended, waiting for Francis and Gilbert to show up. I looked at him suspiciously, he didn't seem glad to see me either.

"Come with me. We need to talk…"

"Talk?" I was surprised, "What about?"

"I don't want to talk about it _here_. Chemistry's class is empty, come with me there…" he said, annoyed at me. I stared at him and Arthur stared at me back. He understood I wasn't going to follow him anywhere, so he sighed and continued:

"It's about P." he said. That got my attention alright.

"What about her?" I was on the defensive. He smirked at me and without another word walked away. I could do nothing but follow him to Chemistry's class. He checked no one followed us and closed the door behind us. I was starting to feel on edge.

"Listen, Antonio. I don't like you and you don't like me…" he started, crossing his arms over his chest. "But Francis is too much of a coward to tell you and even if it's not any of my business, I'll drop the bomb gently. I'm just doing this for him…"

"What?" I didn't get a word he said and it was starting to get on my nerves. He continued staring at me for a moment before he made up his mind.

"P. is cheating constantly on you…" he said, his face unreadable, "In fact, she tried to hit on me the other day. And if you want to know, she tried to hit on Francis too, and, even if you don't believe me, I caught her kissing another boy…"

The world started spinning around me and I kept staring at Arthur, not believing a word he said.

"You are lying…" was the only thing I managed to blurt out. My heart started beating faster and suddenly I felt the wrath swallow my whole being. I didn't believe Arthur and I hated him for even making me doubt on P.'s loyalty. Arthur wasn't smiling thought, he wasn't even happy about telling me.

"Whatever you want to believe, bastard…" he said calmly, "Don't say I didn't warn you!" and turned around for the door. In that moment I lost control, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and slammed his against the wall. He stared at me, in defiance, and tried to push me away.

"What are you planning?" I shouted, "I don't believe she hit on you. You did something…!"

"I did nothing with that whore!" Arthur spat.

"Call your mother a whore!" I shouted. Everything happened really fast. I raised my arm to hit, the door slammed open and I felt a pair of arms dragging me away before I could do anything. I only noticed blue eyes staring at me, alarmed. Arthur was still leaning against the wall and was shouting something about making it on his own and that he didn't need help from a frog.

In that moment I realized that it was Francis who was holding me and the fact reassured me. Nevertheless, it took me a while to calm down. I still didn't believe a word I heard.

"Is it true, Francis…?" I asked, my voice nothing but a feeble whisper. Francis didn't answer and I couldn't see his face. I pushed him roughly away and walked quickly out the room. Francis didn't run after me, that's the only thing I noticed, when I made my way to the backyard, took my bike and played truant for the rest of the day. My parents weren't too happy when I returned home and found out, but I didn't care.

The next day I decided to put my heart at rest and follow P. around until I made sure nothing Arthur said was true. I knew that P. was mine only but Arthur had shaken something inside me and I didn't have the courage to go and face P. about it. What if I was wrong? I told myself. P. would surely hate me for even considering the idea and maybe, I supposed, that was Arthur's plan all along.

Following around without being noticed, had been easy, and every minute that passed I felt all the more sure nothing was going on. P. was going on her own business as always, laughing with her friends and paying attention to class. The school day was almost over and I was already ready to stop this sick game and go apologize to her, that something really unusual happened.

P. was waiting before an empty classroom's door. She didn't notice me and she seemed tense. Suddenly, a guy from the football team appeared and she smiled brightly, waving at him to come to her.

My heart stopped. I knew that smile. It was a smile that until then was only reserved for me. Under my eyes, P. kissed that guy passionately and took his hand. A moment later they were inside that door.

It took me a whole of strength to walk away from my hiding place and go over to that door. I felt like I was living a nightmare. I opened the door and was ready to face monsters coming out of it and kill me. I would have preferred them a whole more than seeing P. eating the other's face with her lips.

"P…" I said her real name, shocked. P. and the guy abruptly stopped what they were doing and turned to look at me. Her big black eyes, those eyes that I fell in love with, were wide open in fear. She pushed the guy away and the guy seemed disoriented as he stared at me.

"You said you broke up…" the guy said, pointing at my startled face.

"What?" I exclaimed and looked at P. She stared at me then at the guy, her face pale, but then, swiftly calmed down and asked the other guy to leave us alone for a moment. The guy seemed taken aback but he complied and even leaned down to kiss her once more before leaving the classroom. I let him go.

"P…" I said again. I tried to keep my anger down, but my voice was shaking and I felt my hands itch. I wanted to hit something, anything. She looked at me, still sitting on the desk, and then suddenly she looked down.

"P…" I said then after taking a deep breath, "I'm ready to drop the matter. I'll pretend I never saw anything and I'll believe anything you'll tell me. You know I love you and…"

P. suddenly started to laugh and stared at me, hard.

"You won't even fight for me?" she exclaimed.

"I believe you have a reason for this…" I said, taken a little aback.

"Yes, I do" she stated, "I don't love you. I never loved you. Do you know how much I hate guys like you?" she shouted, "I hate popular guys like you. You think you have the world at your feet! That you own everything in this damned school! You make fun of whoever doesn't think like you, who doesn't want to kiss your ass and you take all of this for granted. You and your stupid albino friend come always late but even the professors like you and don't dare to expel you! Do you think that's fair? The only thing I love is taking all these things away from you! I would do it again and again just to see you suffer like you do now! I don't love you! It's just had been fun playing with you like that!"

I felt slapped. Her eyes were angry and amused at the same time. I was at loss with words. She looked at me with distaste and I thought that that was it but she wasn't over yet.

"Do you know why _you_ out of the three?" she exclaimed, "Because you are so stupid. You trust people, you smile constantly and can't read the atmosphere. At the first sign of real friendship, you pour your heart out like a baby…" and with that she walked over to me to get to the door.

My arms moved on the own accord. I grabbed her by the hair before she could run away and she screamed, hurt. I hit her so hard she fell down on the floor. I couldn't believe what I had done and I stared at her, as she held her broken nose. She looked at me in shock and anger and shouted behind her hand.

"I'll get you EXPELLED!"

Without another word, I turned around and walked away. I didn't feel guilty, I was just shocked.

My first love.

I couldn't believe it.

Her every word had been like a stab in the heart. I felt my eyes sting but I didn't dare to cry. It was then that I noticed how late it was. Everybody had headed home and the only ones still in school were the janitor, P. and myself…

I took my bike. A lonely bike in the middle of the backyard. I didn't want to go home just yet. I climbed on my bike and without thinking of where I was going, I made my way to Gilbert's house.

His father opened to me, let me in and I climbed the stairs to Gilbert's room. I found him in front of the computer screen and when I opened the door he turned to look at me with a surprised face.

"Where have you been?" Gilbert asked, "We had been looking for you!", I didn't say anything and sat down on his bed. "Did… did something happen to you?", he asked after a moment of silence, the worry evident in his voice. I didn't want to talk just yet; P.'s words were swirling around my mind, making me dizzy.

"Call Francis, please…" I whispered, my voice breaking, and I wanted to slap myself for being so vulnerable. Gilbert's eyebrow shot up but without another word he took his mobile and dialed Francis' number. We both remained silent as time passed. Half an hour later Francis opened Gilbert's door and looked at us, worried.

"Antonio dear…" he said as soon as he saw me, "Where have you been?", he sat down besides me and put an arm around my shoulders.

"He doesn't want to talk…" Gilbert said. I sighed and hid my face in my hands. It took me a lot of courage to speak but eventually I told them all about what happened that day and stopped only when I confessed I had hit her.

"The bitch…", Francis said. "She totally deserved that…"

"I could be expelled…" I said instead. Francis patted me on the back. Gilbert stood silent on his chair, biting his lip.

"Well…" Gilbert said, laughing a little bitterly, "If this is confessions' time… I need to say something too…"

Francis and I looked up at him. Until then I hadn't notice I had started crying and I stared flabbergasted at my wet hands.

"What is it?" Francis asked softly. Gilbert looked out the window before narrating us what happened between him and Elizabeta. His voice was steady at first but then it started to break and at the end of his "confession" he was openly crying.

Neither Francis nor I dared to make fun of him. The circumstances didn't allow it, of course, but it was more because Gilbert didn't cry without a good reason. The first time we saw Gilbert cry was when Ludwig was ten. Gilbert's brother had hit his head and had gone into a coma. He survived but unfortunately lost every memory from that point backwards.

It had been hard for everyone in the family.

If Gilbert was crying this time too, it meant that, to him, what happened with Elizabeta was just as grim.

"I can't sleep at night, thinking about what I should have said…" his last words were, "It hurts too much to know that I had a chance and ruined this friendship…"

There was a long period of silence. I tried to dry my tears, Francis seemed lost in thought and Gilbert refused to look at anywhere else but the window.

Look at where love got us, I thought. Love is a bitch. We pour our heart out and end up burned.

It was then that the idea popped out in my head. It was fuzzy at first but each second it passed it became all the clearer. I was afraid to let it out in the open, though. I wondered if Francis or Gilbert would understand.

And then I decided to speak:

"Why don't we make a pact?" I asked, my voice uncertain, "Let's… let's not fall in love ever again…"

Francis and Gilbert turned to me so abruptly, that it almost made me want to disappear.

"Never again?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah…" I gulped. Now that the words were out, there was no going back. "Why should we be the ones to be hurt? If we won't love ever again, no one is going to hurt us anymore…" I suddenly felt angry again, picturing P's disgusted smile in my head. I felt Francis take my hand and looked up in question.

"Yeah…" he said with a soft smile, "Why not…"

Gilbert looked at Francis surprised. Francis was looking down, at our intertwined fingers, and even if he seemed uncertain, his voice was not. I knew Francis long enough to know that there was something else on his mind, but I just couldn't understand what. His hand was shaking in mine and I didn't have the time to ask that he continued.

"Falling is love is just the end of the fun, isn't it?" he said. "After that come the responsibilities, the fights… it's not worth it… life needs to be lived…"

"Yeah…" Gilbert said, "Maybe… maybe you both are right…"

I looked at them both, surprised.

"So…" I started. We three shared a look.

"This is a pact…" Francis said.

"We are not going to fall in love…" I continued. "Never again…"

"Until death tears us apart…" Gilbert smiled bitterly. Francis snorted.

"It's quite macabre if you put it that way…" Francis teased.

"I think its sounds awesome…" Gilbert laughed, his mood slightly better. I looked down, then looked at them. At my friends.

"Ok, then. This is it."

We looked at each other.

I don't know what happened but in the end, I didn't get expelled and it was P. who was transferred to another school. Francis told me that maybe it was because she was caught staying in school when no one should have been there. I don't know, but, that helped me clear my head a bit. Without P. around, it was easier to slowly heal my wounds. However, the pact remained constantly on my mind.

One day I knew I was going to forget her and that all the things that she did will blur into nothingness but I learned my lesson. Whatever I was going to be when I'll grow up, one thing was certain.

I wasn't going to love again. I wasn't going to be hurt again.

This is it.

: : : :

**A.N. Because I don't want to turn any nation evil, I won't say if I had a nation in my head for P.'s character. I'll let you think whatever you want. I hope you liked this chapter anyway! :) **


	26. Chapter 18

Strangely enough, the pub was Gilbert's idea. It surprised me because Gilbert liked the nightclubs, the loud music and the girls dancing about. Nevertheless, it's been a long time since we went somewhere quiet and cozy like that pub and I really liked the change of scenery. For once we didn't need to scream at the top of our lungs to be heard and this was fine by me, because I really had many things to say.

We sat around a little table, far away from the barstool, each of us holding a beer. Mine was almost full because I didn't have the time to drink, too absorbed in what I wanted to say than filling my mind with alcohol. Francis' one was half full too: he never has been a beer-drinking guy, not that he said no if someone offered it to him. Francis was nodding at every word of mine, a pleased expression on his face. Gilbert, on the other, was already gulping down his third bottle of beer.

"…so Alfred was quite surprised at first. He didn't expect Romano to leave his job at all…" I was saying, "… but now he's all hero-like and comes sometimes to help…"

"So, redecoration is going well?" Francis asked, smiling a little at me. I beamed.

"Yeah! It's coming beautifully, I tell you! We are painting the walls right now and…"

"I don't understand why you trouble yourself so much with the restaurant…" Gilbert suddenly said, talking for the first time. "It's not as if it's yours!"

"I want to help Romano out…" I just replied, "It's me who found the place, after all…"

"Yes, okay, I get _that_!" Gilbert said, "But did Romano give _something _in return?"

I blinked at him, not really understanding what he wanted to say. What was Romano supposed to give me? Money? There was time for that… In the end, it was Francis who came to my rescue.

"He means if Romano let you _do_ him…" Francis said as if he was talking about the weather, taking a gulp of his beer. I abruptly turned to look at Francis, shocked.

"No, but…"

"But wasn't that your goal?" Gilbert interrupted, "To have sex with him? Wasn't that the reason you started all this shit for?"

"Yes, but…" I was quite surprised at Gilbert's pissed face, but I didn't let it get to me. "Now it's not the time. We have the restaurant now, I can't…"

"Please, Antonio…" Gilbert said, his voice showing all his frustration. "I'm saying this for your own good. If you drag things so much, he will eventually get attached to you. Won't it be weird to him if you two have sex and you suddenly disappear?"

His words struck a chord and I looked down at where my beer had been standing a moment before. I turned my attention back to Gilbert, who was drinking what I was supposed to drink. Not that I cared, in that moment.

"Romano will…"

"Don't tell me he will understand, because he won't." Gilbert stated before I could say anything, "What if he falls in love with you? What would you do then?"

"For once Gilbert's right…" Francis said, leaning on his hand, "Romano seems really interested in you nowadays. If we think back to the way he treated you when you first met, I would say he really likes you now…"

"Maybe he doesn't hate me as much as he did. But, seriously guys, Romano's not in love with me. I would know." I stated. Francis and Gilbert raised their eyebrows.

"Did he tell you something?" Francis asked.

"Maybe he is not in love _now_. But what if he will? What will you do? We have a pact, don't we…?" Gilbert interrupted once again. He slurred his words, the alcohol he gulped down finally acting in his system. Francis and I looked at him, before Francis grabbed Gilbert's bottle away from his hands. Gilbert's cry of protest went unnoticed. Our albino friend shot a disappointed look at his bottle of beer then raised his eyes to look at me once again.

"You should just take him _now_!" he said, "Now that he won't cling to you like a stupid schoolgirl…"

"Please, don't talk about Romano like that…" I said, slightly pissed off. I really didn't understand what was going on inside Gilbert's head and more than once I wanted to believe he wasn't really talking about Romano.

"Falling in love is so overrated…" Francis said, more to himself than to me. "Antonio…" he said then, looking at me straight in the eyes. "You should think well what you want from Romano. Gilbert's right. You don't really have much time left…"

I stared at them both: at Francis' worried expression and at Gilbert's slightly pissed off one.

I didn't know what to say to them. The only thing I wanted to do was help Romano out with his dream.

Romano had finally accepted to buy the restaurant and, together, we started redecorating to give it a more Italian look. My days had become somewhat full: I worked in the kindergarten the mornings, I helped Romano in the afternoons and, when I was in the mood to, went out with my friends in the evenings.

For the time being, Romano continued working for Alfred but as soon as the restaurant opened he would definitely leave the job. It took Romano a lot of courage to go and tell Alfred he was going to quit sooner or later but when I told him I was going to do it in his place, he took it as a threat and finally did it without another protest.

On the other, when told, Feliks had been surprised at first, before he started complaining about who was going to give him a ride home now that Romano was going to leave. Toris had tried to shut him up, but to no avail, until he finally gave in and promised he was going to be Feliks' chauffer from that point on. Only then did Feliks congratulate Romano on the restaurant.

Sometimes even Herakles and Kiku came to help us out. That afternoon was one of those times.

Kiku was really a good artist. He was the one who suggested painting the walls with Italian-inspired pictures. Romano agreed but he wasn't very sure at first. Kiku though proved to be really good and, in the end, Romano liked the way the wall was turning out.

That day Kiku was already in the restaurant, doing his job. He had climbed on a ladder and was painting something that looked like a tomato. He nodded at me when I waved at him hello and immediately returned to the job at hand.

Romano was talking with Herakles in that moment, both of their clothes dirty with white paint. Romano was pointing at something, that I later understood was where the new lights should be, and Herakles was listening to him, a pensive look on his face.

I wondered how much patience did Herakles had in that moment. Romano really didn't like Herakles and he made sure to show it any occasion he had, treating him like a dog. I always wanted to apologize to Herakles on Romano's behalf. He and Kiku were helping out willingly after all and it wasn't fair on their part to be treated like that, but everytime Romano tried to have me as much as he could away from Herakles. I really couldn't understand what he was afraid of.

"Hello!" I said, getting their attention. Romano turned abruptly to me and put his hands on his hips.

"Where have you been?" he exclaimed, approaching me. "We need to move the tables today and I can't do it alone, bastard!"

"I had some problems at work…" I said, putting my coat on a chair. Romano pouted and I smiled at him. He had a stain of pain on his nose and he looked really cute. I took the paint away with my thumb and he blushed at me. "Cute~" I said out loud.

"I'm not cute!" Romano exclaimed, red, whether from embarrassment or anger, I didn't know. It's difficult to distinguish, anyway. "Help me with the tables now, idiot!" and run to where all the tables were gathered together.

"Your boyfriend really likes to order people around…" Herakles said as we watched Romano walk to the farthest end of the room. "…while he does nothing…"

"Yes, I know, and I'm…" I tried to say but then Romano shouted.

"Are you coming or not?"

I sighed and noticed that Herakles' lips had quivered upwards in a smile.

"I'm going to repair that broken water tap…" Herakles said then with a sigh and without another word disappeared into the kitchen.

"Are you sure you don't want to call a plumber?" Kiku exclaimed from his place on the ladder. I abruptly turned to look at him: I really had forgotten he was there. He was so silent…

"I can do it!" Herakles shouted from the kitchen and I decided to finally walk over to Romano, who was inspecting in the moment one of the chairs and was scowling at it.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked him, kneeling down next to him. He looked at me and said:

"We need new chairs…" he said flatly and showed me the chair's broken leg. I nodded as we both stood up. It was quite a pity because the chairs were relatively new and I didn't think we could afford new ones.

"Should we go to a carpenter or something?" I asked instead. I knew that Romano had been thinking along the same line but I was surprised when Romano suddenly sat down on a chair, as if testing its resistance, which wasn't that much…

"Chigiii!" he shouted and I jumped to grab his arm before he fell down and hurt himself. In the end we both tumbled on the floor and I found myself staring at the white ceiling for a whole minute before I burst out laughing.

"What are you laughing at, idiot!" Romano shouted in my ear from his place beside me, "I almost killed myself!"

"Come on, it was funny!" I said, still laughing and turned to the side, putting all the weight on one arm. Romano looked at me from his place on the floor and slowly mimicked my gestures. A moment later we were looking at each other straight in the eyes.

"So you think its funny when someone is hurt?" he said, scowling, and pushed me back on the floor. The push itself didn't hurt me that much but the look of pure surprise on my face must have amused Romano. "How's that?", he smirked down at me. I looked up at him and grabbed his shirt, pulling him down on me. He yelp-ed in surprise and I laughed.

"Ha, ha…" he mocked, rolling away from me as quickly as he could. I slowly sat up, still laughing, and he abruptly turned to look at me, annoyed.

"Don't you have _anything_ better to do with that mouth of yours than laughing?" Romano exclaimed then. I looked at him, my laughter quieting down.

"Now that you mention it…", I said, an idea forming in my mind.

I wanted so much to do it.

It was since that day in the park that I wanted to. Romano turned to look at me, his eyebrow raised, and he didn't expect me to reach out for him and pull him closer. It took him a second to understand what I wanted to do, but this time I didn't move to reach his lips. We stayed like that for a moment, feeling each other breath on our skin, and then suddenly I (or him, I don't really know) leaned and met halfway.

My heart started pounding and I felt like they set fire on my lips as Romano kissed me tentatively back. I let instincts take the best of me and I pushed him down on the floor, all the time not breaking the kiss. I didn't care in that moment if either Herakles or Kiku saw us, in fact, I forgot they even existed, as for me there was no other than Romano and those lips in this world. I moved down to kiss his neck and collarbone…

I felt his fingers run through my hair. He really was lost in the moment and I with him. It felt different, though, from that day in the park. It was like we both waited for this moment to come, but we never had the courage to ask for permission. Romano wasn't pushing me away. Romano wasn't scared and he wasn't going to run away.

Finally, it felt like everything had fell into place.

"Well… Romano told me you had a nice ass, but I didn't believe him until now!"

We both froze in place.

Romano's eyes widened comically and stared at a point behind me, terrified. I was still dizzy from the kiss and I really couldn't function properly but I knew something was wrong the moment Romano pushed me roughly away.

"DAD!" he shouted and kicked me once more, before he abruptly stood up. At the word, my breath hitched and looked up to see Julius Vargas laughing over us, his hands on his hips. Besides him stood Feliciano, who was giggling, and… Ludwig, who was looking at everything else that wasn't me or Romano.

"What are YOU doing here?" Romano shouted, hiding his embarrassment with anger.

"I came to check the place out!" Julius said, ignoring Romano's stutters. I slowly stood up and waved at Feliciano, who smiled right back. Kiku was looking at us, confused, paintbrush still in hand. In that moment Herakles too exited the kitchen, perplexed by all the noise. He was dripping wet and I understood that his war against the tap wasn't over yet.

"What's going on…?" he asked then looking at us. Kiku shot him a worried look, then sighed and decided to climb down the ladder. Julius, Feliciano and Ludwig turned to look at him and Herakles eyes immediately focused on Julius' persona. Julius too seemed really interested in Herakles and he blinked for a moment, puzzled, before he burst out laughing.

"Herakles? Herakles Karpouzi? Is that you?" he exclaimed, "Oh, my! How much you grew since last time! How are you?"

Everyone turned to look at Herakles, who suddenly seemed to remember.

"Oh, Mr. Vargas! I didn't recognize you…" Herakles started but before he had a chance to say anything else, Romano shot his hands in the air and groaned.

"Does that bastard know anyone in here?" Romano exclaimed, I put a hand on his shoulder to make his stop. Unexpectedly, he relaxed under my touch. The gesture didn't go unnoticed to Julius, who pouted a little but didn't comment.

"Please, Romano…" he said instead, "Herakles' mother was one of my dearest friends…" he let the matter drop and changed subject, "Who are you, dear?" Julius asked then, turning his attention to Kiku, who had moved to stand closer to Herakles.

"I'm Honda Kiku, sir. Nice to meet you…" Kiku said, blushing a little from all the attention. Herakles unconsciously made a step closer to Kiku and put a hand around the other's waist.

"Pleasure is mine!" Julius smiled, "So! Romano!" he exclaimed then, turning back to his older son, "I see you made a nice bunch of…" he shot me a look, "…friends!"

"Friends my…" Romano started. My hold on his shoulder tightened and he shut up. Julius looked around and made a sound of appreciation.

"The restaurant it's really beautiful! When it's going to open? I can't wait!"

Romano shot him a look.

"As soon as renovation is over…" Romano said, "And it can't be if you keep delaying us!" he exclaimed then, slapping my hand away and walking back to the chairs.

"Oh, I see!" Julius said, "Then I ought to help you!"

"Yes! Me too!" Feliciano said cheerfully, talking for the first time. He then glanced at the half-painted walls and wow-ed. "Kiku! That's your name, right?" he said then turning to the Japanese boy, who was looking apprehensively at Herakles. "You did this?"

"Err…" Kiku said, feeling quite uneasy, "I try my best…"

"They are so cool!" Feliciano exclaimed, "You are really good! Please! Let me help you out with this!" then he shot a look at Romano, "Can I? Can I?"

"Whatever…", Romano didn't even turn around to look at him.

"Great!" Feliciano took Kiku's hand. I smiled at the scene: Feliciano was so different from Romano. Ludwig turned to look at Feliciano who was already talking animatedly with Kiku and sighed.

"I guess I could help too…" Ludwig said then, surrendering to facts. Romano's eyes twinkled.

"Yes, of course!" Romano said, too sweetly to be natural, "The place needs cleaning… take a rug and start scrubbing the dirty floor…" he smirked. I could see his face, he seemed so pleased with himself, like he never thought the opportunity to humiliate Ludwig would ever come. Ludwig, on the other, seemed unfazed by it all and walked over to Herakles. The two started talking but I didn't hear a word they said.

My eyes were on Julius.

He was staring at me, hard, as if he was trying with all his might to read my mind.

I stared back at him and I knew in that moment that he did saw that kiss.

And he wasn't exactly pleased by it.

The fact I could still taste Romano on my lips, didn't make me feel any better.

"Tell me boys…" Julius said then, breaking the silence, "What were _you_ two doing before we came?"

He was smiling and he walked slowly over to us. Romano tensed at his father's words and he opened and closed his mouth for a whole minute, not really knowing what he should say. I decided to be the one to talk.

"Oh, we were seeing the chairs… most of them are broken and…" I said, trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

"If that's so!" Julius exclaimed and crouched down to study the broken chair better. Romano didn't dare to meet his father's eyes and was looking down at the floor.

"You are lucky I came!" Julius said then with a smile after a moment of awkward silence.

"Huh?" I said. Romano's enquired his eyebrow and finally looked at his father in question.

"I worked for a carpenter once…" Julius explained, "And I know how to repair these! You don't need to spend precious money on new ones! Your daddy will take care of it!"

Romano and I shared a look as Julius became absorbed with the task at hand.

"Where do you keep the tools?" he suddenly said, making me look away from Romano.

"Err…" I searched around and then remembered that Herakles had them to repair the broken tap. I grabbed Romano's hand when Julius was too occupied with the chairs to see and exclaimed: "We'll go get them!"

"We…?" Julius said, while checking one of a table's legs. "Can't you find them on your own?"

But before he could look up and pierced us with his eyes, I was already out the restaurant with Romano on tow. As soon as we were out in the street, Romano looked back at the restaurant, confused, and looked at me.

"Herakles has them and he is in the kitchen…" Romano said, "Why you dragged us out?"

"I wanted to stay a little longer alone with you…" I answered, truthfully. Romano's cheeks tinted red and he looked down at our intertwined hands, suddenly realizing he was still holding my hand.

"It's such a shame your father interrupted us…" I just said then, letting my thoughts in the open. Romano eyes shot up to me, his mouth slightly open and so inviting.

"W-what…? No! I'm glad, instead! I… I…" his face was adorable and I felt like smiling. "Come on, idiot…" he pulled my hand, "Let's go back inside. If that bastard of my father comes, you…"

I wanted to shout 'who cares'. I wanted to go back inside to Julius and tell him to mind his own business. I wanted to drag Romano away and take him home. I wanted to go to my friends and tell them…

Tell them…

"Come on, Antonio!" Romano exclaimed, angry and frustrated, "Stop spacing out on me!"

"Let him come!" I suddenly exclaimed then and stared in Romano's eyes. My heart started beating faster and without thinking I pulled him closer until our chests touched. Romano tried to push me away but when I leaned down and kissed him again, he stopped struggling and moved his arms around my neck.

Yes. I thought.

Yes.


	27. Gilbert 4

When my phone rang it was exactly 17:54 p.m.

In less than six minutes, Ludwig would wave goodbye to our last customers and put that annoying "Sorry, we are closed" placard on the front door, signaling we were both free to do whatever we wanted from then on.

I really didn't know why I was thinking those things when I should have answered my phone instead. I didn't need to see the caller's ID. I knew_ perfectly _who it was and maybe that is why my heart started beating frantically when the first notes of _his _favorite song started to play.

For the first time in my whole life I wanted to keep working. I wanted to tell Ludwig not to put that stupid placard on the front door so I could have an excuse to stay where I was.

Of course, if I told him _that_, Ludwig would start checking my temperature to see if I was alright. Because, seriously, I must be really sick.

I could already imagine him fuss over me like a mother hen, asking so many questions that would soon make me feel even worse…

"Won't you answer?" Ludwig asked me, his perfectly blond eyebrow shooting in the air in question. I shot him a look before turning my attention to the phone, which was still ringing, still waiting. "What are you waiting for?", Ludwig asked then. I groaned.

"Hallo?", I finally asked, picking it up.

"It's me, Gilbert…" his voice was as quiet as ever and I could hear music playing in the background. He must be in a café, I thought. He didn't ask me why it took me so long to answer and I was disappointed that he didn't. I could have used it to my advantage: the perfect pretext for a fight.

"Hi, Matthew!" I said instead, trying to sound cheerful, "What's up?"

"Err…" Matthew's voice suddenly didn't feel as sure as before, "…fine… listen… I…", he almost chewed on his words.

"_I_ feel awesome, as always!" I cut him before he had a chance to say anything else, "We were sooo BUSY today! Lot's of customers!" I shot a murderous look at Ludwig, whose eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, "And some of them are really tiring, you know? Always changing ideas and…"

"Yeah, okay, cool…" Matthew interrupted, taking me aback, "You must be really tired but… I really need to talk to you…" he stated. There was a moment of silence and then: "It's really important."

His tone of voice didn't justify any form of excuses. He wanted to talk to me and if I didn't go to him, he would surely come to me. I immediately realized there was no way out of this one.

This was it, wasn't it?

"Can you meet me at _that _café?" Matthew asked then, "It won't take long. Just… come…", if I didn't knew any better, it felt like he was begging me to. I felt out of breath, as if I had been running for miles and miles. I was tempted to say no and forget that this even happened.

"Okay. In an hour?" I said, drawing a sigh.

"In an hour…" Matthew agreed and hung up with a whispered 'see you'. I stared at the phone for a long moment, confused and worried. Ludwig must have noticed that something wasn't really right and asked:

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course!" I immediately grinned at him, hiding my phone in my front pocket. I laughed and kept lying: "Everything is awesome as always, dear brother. I just have to go now. You know how some people just _can't _live without me!" I stood up and made to take my things, "I'll make it quick, though, so I'll be home soon…"

Ludwig twisted his mouth the way he always did when he didn't believe a word I said. I pouted at him. Why does he never believe me? I'm trustworthy, aren't I?

Ludwig glanced out in the street before turning his attention back to me, watching every move of mine as I put my coat on and took some cash from the cash-register.

"Try not to drink much…" Ludwig said, crossing his arms over his chest, "And no fights!" he added after a moment of thought. I waved nonchalantly and tsk-ed at him.

"You are so uptight, Ludwig…" I said, "Everything is going to be just fine! I'll be back soon…" I repeated then and opened the door. Ludwig watched me go and I closed the door behind me with a sigh. My heart started quickening at the thought of what was going to happen now and I really couldn't concentrate on anything else as I walked to the place Matthew was waiting for me.

It was the café Matthew had told me to meet him that day so long ago. I wanted to smile at the memory of him, standing in line, patiently waiting to give his order, and bearing the fact the clerk wasn't paying any attention to him.

It was the day when I told him to let out his real thoughts and to stand up for himself.

It was the day he kissed me.

I felt like someone was squeezing my heart and my stomach churned as I made my way there, immediately recognizing Matthew sitting on one of the tables, coffee in hand. He made it. He managed to be noticed and order without a problem.

I wanted to be proud.

I _was_ proud.

But…

The bell chimed as I opened the door and walked inside. I didn't even glance at the smiling clerk and made a bee line to Matthew, who looked up at me and made a half smile. I tried to smile back and sat down before him.

"It must be really important if you look so nervous!" I stated, ignoring the fact I felt nervous too. Matthew smiled a little and adverted his eyes away from mine.

"It is…" Matthew said, "Don't you…" he glanced down at his cup of coffee and then looked at me, "Do you want something to drink?"

He was trying to take time, I knew, but I just wanted to get over it.

"I'm fine…" I told him and made a rough gesture at the waiter who had been making his way to me. The waiter looked at me shocked at first and just a little bit angry but then he turned his back to me and walk away to take another customer's order.

"How are you?" I decided to ask then, just to break the silence, and hoping Matthew would stop looking so serious. He stared at me, his eyes looking straight into mine. I felt so many things in that moment.

Anger. Embarrassment. Desire. It's hard to describe really.

"I'm…" Matthew smiled bitterly at himself, looking like he had recognized my emotions too and sighed, "Remember that period of time I tried to ignore you? Well, I wanted to explain myself…" he said then, straight to the point. My heart stopped and I seriously believed I was going to die just then. I leaned closer to him, as to hear better what he was going to say, as if that simple gesture would tell me just how much Matthew had managed to read my heart.

"Come on…" I tried to make the atmosphere lighter, "You didn't ignore me! You were just… busy…"

"I did." Matthew disagreed immediately, "I did and I know I hurt you. I know that was why you…" he chuckled, "…followed me to that cafeteria. I know you want answers and I know how much this is scaring you."

I stared at him, my hands slowly turning into fists. Matthew suddenly turned to look at me.

"Do you still want to know?"

My answer was immediate:

"Yes…"

He seemed lost in thought for a minute and probably he pondered the best way to tell what he needed to say to me. I already felt anxious but I tried my best to look relaxed. Finally, he started to talk:

"In the first place, I never understood why someone like you would approach someone like _me_…"

"You don't give yourself enough credit!" I immediately retorted, suddenly upset at his words, "You are really an interesting guy and…"

"You say these things now, when you passed enough time with me to actually know me…" Matthew said, cutting me. "Either way, you have always been the center of attention, so you don't understand how it's to be ignored all the time…" his voice was slightly angry, but his eyes were as calm as ever. "You must understand it came as a surprise when _you_ started noticing me… and even asked for my number…"

I tsk-ed, annoyed, and looked away.

"Why you don't believe in yourself?"

"Actually…" Matthew said, "…I don't believe in you…"

His words felt like a stab through the chest.

"I'm having doubts, Gilbert. That period of time…" Matthew continued, "… that period of time… I really wanted to stay away from you. I was having doubts. I couldn't understand what you wanted from _me_. I was scared but you tried to get in touch with me over and over and… well… I took it as a sign you really were interested in me…"

I am. I wanted to tell him. God, you don't know how much I am.

Matthew looked up from his cup of finished coffee and I stared into his eyes, waiting. There was a moment of silence, where I probably should had felt angry about the things Matthew was telling me. But I didn't.

I wasn't angry with _him._

"Gilbert…" Matthew suddenly said, so unsure and terrified. My heart started beating rapidly in my chest. "Gilbert, I… I fell in love with you…"

I sighed. I looked down and closed my eyes. I expected this and my heart started beating even faster. I didn't know what to do. It happened what I always fear that would happen. I felt trapped.

"I know you are hiding something too…" Matthew said then, making me look up. He was blushing and his knuckles were white against the cup's red china. "You don't have to tell me what it is. I'll understand… as soon as you tell me what you _really _feel for me…"

In that moment, I suddenly remembered Elizabeta looking at me, the exact same way Matthew was doing right then, searching and waiting for an answer I couldn't give.

My body wanted to stay there, sat on that chair, and reach for that hand that was clutching that coffee cup, ready to break it and shaking with anger, I supposed. My fingers twitched and I hid them under the table, afraid of what I could do. I wanted to laugh it all off. I wanted to get away.

I wanted to lean over the table and kiss him.

In that moment I was really afraid of myself.

_Never fall in love, remember Gilbert? Never. Remember how much it hurts. _

I couldn't take it anymore.

I smiled.

"I'm sorry…" I said then and I listened to my voice as if it wasn't really mine. "We… we should be just friends…" and stood abruptly up. Matthew didn't say anything. He just looked away, out from the window. His silence hurt more than a thousand curses.

I ignore that tear streaming down.

I walked away.

I really didn't care where I went, as long as I was far away from Matthew. I wanted to go home. I wanted to return to Germany. I wanted to return back to the café, fall on my knees and ask for forgiveness.

But that wasn't going to happen. I didn't love Matthew.

With that thought in mind, I kept walking and crossed the road. As always, I didn't respect the red lights and didn't see the car almost hitting me. I just heard the brakes loud and clear in my ears. I absentmindedly looked up to see the car abruptly coming to a stop and finally found the perfect opportunity to let the anger all out. I stared at the car and shouted:

"Watch where you are going, MOTHERFUCKER!" and kicked the car's fenders with all the strength I had. I smirked at the damage I made before I kept shouting: "You could have KILLED ME!"

The shouting made me forget about the pain and Matthew's face was shoved somewhere in the back of my mind. I just stared as the driver's door suddenly opened and waited for the incoming fight.

"The lights were RED, bloody git!" the driver shouted right then, shutting the door with all his might, "FOR YOU!"

Angry green orbs stared at me and my next words died in my throat. The driver stared back at me, his mouth shaping in a perfect 'o'.

"Kirkland!" I shouted and pointed at him dramatically, "You STILL don't know how to DRIVE!"

Arthur first shock suddenly disappeared and he put his hands on his hips, livid.

"It's your bloody fault!" Arthur shouted back at me, "You NEVER see the red lights, don't you? I wonder how you are still alive!" he suddenly moved to inspect the damage I made. He groaned and shot me a murderous look. "YOU…!"

I looked around me: our fight had attracted quite the crowd and I really didn't want to be the center of attention right then. Ignoring Arthur's swearwords, I made my way to the passenger's door and hopped on the car. I could see Arthur blinking in surprise and honked repeatedly, just to annoy him even more.

Arthur looked around at the whispering crowd and with a groan returned back to the driver's seat.

"Are you mad?" Arthur shouted at me, frantically putting his seatbelt on and started the engine again. "I swear I'm going to cut your balls off for what you did to my car! What the heck is wrong with you…!"

"You call this wrecked thing a car?" I exclaimed instead.

Arthur looked askance at me but kept driving. I wondered in that moment if mine had been a good idea or if I should had just turned around and walked away when I had the chance. But having Arthur besides me, I realized, was keeping my mind away from Matthew, so, before I could think it over, I said:

"Where were you going anyway?"

Arthur turned to look at me with wide eyes.

"What?" he was really surprised and I couldn't blame him. "Why?" he asked then, suspicious.

"Wherever you are going, I'm coming with you…" I said as if it was the most normal thing in the world, which it wasn't. Arthur almost crashed the car that slowed down before us.

"What happened to you?" Arthur asked, raising those big eyebrows of him. I laughed a little bitterly and crossed my arms against my chest.

"Nothing!" I answered, maybe a little too abruptly. Arthur made an unconvinced sound. I glanced at him.

"Did someone dump you?" Arthur asked, almost smirking, his eyes sparkling with amusement.

"As if!" I exclaimed, "No one dumps the…"

"… awesome me…" Arthur mocked, "I know. You never change…" he laughed. "I guess you need a drink…"

I stared at him, annoyed by his behavior, but I couldn't say he wasn't in the right. In that moment drinking seemed the best plan. I shrugged.

"I'm going to the Nightwave…" he continued, turning to the left. In that moment I realized where we were. If we had turned right, we would have arrived to my house…

I glanced at Arthur and wondered for a moment why he was so kind to me. After all, we either ignored each other or fought. There was something wrong with Arthur's behavior but I didn't dwell on it much.

At the sudden realization, it became harder to stay angry. I kept looking out of the window and slowly grasped what type of music had been playing in the background since I hopped in the car. I stared at the radio and then back at Arthur.

"French songs, Arthur?" I suddenly said. "Seriously?"

Arthur seemed confused at first and then looked down at the radio as if he had seen it for the first time. Arthur's cheeks turned red and switched the radio abruptly off.

"It's broke" Arthur stated, "I couldn't change station…"

I furrowed my eyebrows at him and then suddenly my mind clicked.

"Did something happen with Francis?" I asked, "He doesn't talk about you or dump us to go out drinking with you anymore…"

Arthur ignored me and parked the car. I supposed he didn't want to talk about it and I was surprised when he said:

"You know we don't like each other that much, Gilbert…"

"Yes, but…" I made to say but he opened his door and got off the car. I sighed and followed him out. We walked side by side in silence as we made our way to the club. The loud music made me feel better: the music didn't let me think.

"You should treat me!" Arthur suddenly said over the loud music. "It's the least you can do after that hit to my car!" he smirked, his good mood suddenly back again. I tsk-ed and said:

"Of course NOT! You were the one that almost killed me!"

"Then pay the damage!" Arthur shouted back. We moved through the crowd and found the main barstool. We sat down as Alfred greeted us with a bright grin.

"Long time, no see, Gilbert!" Alfred exclaimed, happy as ever. I studied his face, noticed the similarities, and for a moment I wondered if Alfred would be that kind to me if he knew what I done to his brother. The thought made my stomach churn and I suddenly turned to look at Arthur.

"Fine!" I exclaimed, "I'm treating you! But take this as my only repayment, alright?"

Arthur smiled at me, victoriously.

"We'll see about that…"

Alfred listened to our conversation, amused and just a little confused. I couldn't look at him in the eyes.

"Give me the strongest thing you have!" I exclaimed then, looking down.

"Okay, man!" I heard Alfred said, "You must have had a rough day!" and immediately went to get our drinks. Arthur was still looking at me but he didn't say anything and raised his own glass full of whiskey.

"To our problems!" he said. I smiled bitterly and raised my own glass.

"Yeah…" and we gulped down our first glass of alcohol.

That soon was followed by another and then another… until we both forgot about the bump on the car, about who was going to treat who, about Alfred, about Matthew… all my thoughts disappeared into the music. Everything was blurred and clear altogether. The only thing I wanted was to drink because everything seemed funnier when I did.

Even the pact seemed ridiculous.

"… a ticket to hell!" I was saying, "That what it is!" and started laughing. Arthur, on the other, didn't find anything funny at all.

"That pact sucks…" Arthur said, his words slurring. "I still wonder how you live it down… yeah… that's the right expression…"

"You never tried it, that's why…" I said, pointing my glass to him. "NO responsibilities, whatsoever…"

"Hey, guys…" Alfred said, looking at us worriedly. Arthur stared at him, slightly wobbling, then looked at me and as if he suddenly remembered something very funny he started to laugh.

"Yeah! You are right!" Arthur stated. I smirked and looked up at Alfred, or at least tried to. I then noticed Romano standing next to him, scowl evident on his face, and I suddenly remembered:

"Oh, yeah! You!" I shouted and tried to look at the Romano on the right. No… there were three Romanos… where should I look? "Congratulations for the restaurant!"

"Err…" Romano looked at Alfred, his eyebrows furrowed. "…thanks?"

"Yeah…" I slurred.

"I believe you had enough!" Alfred laughed. I didn't let go of my empty glass though and stared at Romano.

"You are so unlucky though…" I said. Romano seemed taken aback. Or was he laughing? Who was laughing?

"Me?" Romano looked again at Alfred, who looked really worried.

"It's what I've been telling to my friend here…" I said, pointing at Arthur standing next to me, "…the pact is our ticket to hell…"

"Pact?" Romano seemed confused, "What pact?"

"The pact, I, Antonio and…" I searched for the word. It started with an F…

"…the bloody frog!" Arthur suddenly exclaimed.

"Yeah, the fucking Frog…" I giggled, "…made!" and laughed. "We…" I motioned him to come closer. Romano seemed disgusted and stayed where he was. Alfred looked at us and walked away. I didn't care where…

Realizing Romano wasn't coming any closer, I decided to stand up and bend over to him.

"… we swore to never fall in love…" I whispered then to Romano's ear. "Never! It's a secret though…"

I couldn't see Romano's expression.

"They just want the sex!" Arthur exclaimed, suddenly looking depressed again.

"You make us look dirty…" I said, upset. Where was the chair… oh… here it was…

"You are…" Arthur said. I didn't notice Alfred had returned back to us. I didn't even look up as I sat down. My head started to hurt and I was already feeling sick to the stomach.

"To be singles forever and just have one-night-stands…" I started, "Oh. Yeah… you are probably…" hiccup "…right…"

Romano was staring at me, his eyes wide and his face pale but I must have been wrong. Must be the alcohol, I supposed.

"Don't listen to them…" I heard Alfred said, "They are drunk…"

"DRUNK my ass!" I laughed, "I'm WASTED!"

"Are you telling the truth?" Romano suddenly shouted, ignoring Alfred and leaning to get closer to me. I mmh-ed at him and I wondered how I would return home. Arthur had already passed out on the table. No… what was I thinking? Even sober Arthur can't drive…

"OF COURSE!" I said, looking at Arthur disappointed, "Have fun you two and when it's over… it's… over…"

"Antonio is using me?"

"I wouldn't put it in that way…" I said, giggling as I poked Arthur's eyebrows. "He just… don't… err…"

"Please, Romano. They are drunk…" Alfred said, slapping my hand away. "Gilbert, I called your brother… he is coming to fetch you home…"

"Geez… thanks…" I said, pouting. "He is going to KILL me now…"

I slowly got up. I tripped. I felt a pair of hands around me but I didn't turn around to see who it was. I suddenly hoped it was Matthew, who had come back to me, telling me he understood… and… that he…

…everything became black.


	28. Romano

My name is Romano Vargas. I'm twenty-three years old and the first thing you oughta know about me is that you must stay far away from me! Got it? Don't try to mess with me because I know where you live! I _warned_ you!

…

Okay, well… if you are nice looking girls, maybe I can trust you… err… well… where should I begin?

I have a younger brother. His name is Feliciano. Stupid name, isn't it? Despite that, he is better than me in everything he does. I believe he is even more attractive than me too. He can play piano (but I can't understand where he learned), he can sing, he can cook, he can dance, he trusts people too easily and everyone likes him immediately!

Everything would be alright, if I had to deal with him only, but, no. I have an annoying father as well. A real pain in the ass. His personality sucks but everyone seems to like my father as well. Women like him, men like him, children like him! I really don't understand what's going on with the world.

My father was a High-school Principal. You understand now, I hope, why High School had been the WORST period of my life.

Feliciano had always been cute and funny to be with, but in High School people had started to look at him in a whole other light. He became "partner-material". Feliciano is a big flirt, so he looked like he gave a chance to everyone, but the truth is he never wanted to date, as if he was waiting for the right one, which is ridiculous, because everybody knows that the "right one" is just a bunch of lies.

He could reject anyone with just a smile and no one would feel any hatred for him. Nevertheless, they never gave up. So, to get closer to him, they asked me out first. I was a real idiot back then, I never had many friends and every time someone seemed to be interested in me, I fell in the trap. I never saw the real reason behind their actions until later.

Back then, I really thought they loved me for me! How pathetic is that? Who can love me? I have nothing to offer. Feliciano has more to give than I do.

Of course, that is not the only reason they dated me. As the Principal's son, they thought that I had more rights than everyone in school. That meant that if they dated _me_, they would immediately get a slice of those rights. _I'm the son's Principal's boyfriend/girlfriend! I have all the rights not to go to detention and get an A instead! _Pathetic.

"You seem nice at first even if you never smile…" a girl told me once, "But then, all you do is complaining and shouting and giving mixed messages. Do you really think people love to be treated like that?"

Every time love had knocked on my door, it was fake, dirty. I don't believe in love, the kind they like so much to write stories about. It doesn't exist. No one loves without getting anything in reward! To love unconditionally? What a lie!

My father, being my father, could see right through those bastards who pretended to love me. I was a teenager back then, and I really thought he just tried to obstacle all my relationships. I know now it wasn't like that. Not that I'll ever admit it.

My father couldn't take all my shed tears anymore. He couldn't stand seeing me broken, relationship after relationship. He knows my weaknesses and he tried to protect me, but we are both stubborn and just ended fighting every time.

When I was seventeen, I had finally learned my lesson and finally realized how stupid I had been. My life turned for the better from then on. Until _he_ came.

He is all I ever loathed in a man.

His smile is so annoying. His voice too happy-go-lucky. He is too much of an optimist. He is too oblivious. He is too arrogant. He is too stubborn. He is too kind. He is too attractive. He is… too… too… damn. I forgot what I wanted to say.

The way he approached me! How pathetic was that? Talking with me in Spanish! What an idiot. He is so stupid he didn't see my trap coming! I laugh at that. He really thought I was going to give it to him that easily? Pathetic excuse of a man! He ended up sleeping uncomfortably and with the door open, so anyone could have entered and see.

And yet again, he came back.

He kept searching for me.

What a bastard. He can't take a clue, can he?

"I really don't know what to say…" my father told me once, "He looks like a nice guy, really. I don't really dislike him that much, but… I can't trust him completely. It's like he is hiding something and I really don't want you to be hurt again. I don't want to see you cry over a boy again. I wouldn't stand it. If he breaks your heart, I'll…"

"Don't worry, dad. I can take care of myself…"

He looked at me, his face serious.

"I know you can in any other situation. But this time is different. This is not a crush. You are in love…"

"I-I… I'm not! With Antonio? Don't make me laugh!"

It's true. I'm not in love with Antonio. I'm not. _I'm not_. Those kisses didn't mean a thing to me. Those smiles. Those promises. Nothing.

…

Why then it hurt so much when that albino of his friend told me about the pact?

"We swore to never fall in love…" that idiot said. As soon as the albino's words were out, I wanted to scream, hit the person next to me, but I did nothing of the sort. I just turned around and returned home. I didn't cry. I would hate myself immensely if I did.

I just closed the door behind me and paced around the room. I didn't know what to think, what to feel. If what he said it true, well, of course it was… then… then Antonio never loved me. He just… just…

I wanted to laugh. My father was right! He _was_ hiding something! I should have listened to him. Oh, how pathetic that made me look now! I swore to never completely trust people that seemed interested in me and here I was! Trusting Antonio, letting him in my world and what happened? He was no different than those bastards back in school! He just wanted…

Argh! How the hell did I fall for him? How did I let it happen? Is it so easy to manipulate me? Did they just need a smile? To tell me I'm worth it? Serves me right then!

I looked around the room. I felt so angry. I wanted to break everything I saw. The kitchen… the guitar laying around… that same guitar Antonio touched the day he came… dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!

I switched on the radio. I wanted something to make me forget about him, but it was futile. A woman's voice was singing a song I didn't need to hear in that moment.

"I can hear you heartbeat…" she said. My breath hitched. Images of that stupid day at that karaoke bar flashed in my mind, and my heart hurt. In a moment of pure anger I took that little radio in my hands and hurl it at the wall. The voice finally shut up as the radio broke with a loud crash.

I stared at it. I stared at the damage I made. Nevertheless, I didn't feel calmer at all. Suddenly, my eyes started to sting and I touched my wet cheeks in surprise.

The bastard…

The fucking bastard.

At least to myself, I can't deny it.

I love him.

As soon as I said it, I started to cry harder. I wanted to stop. I wiped the tears off but they kept coming.

Why this time it hurts that much?

…

Maybe I should rephrase what I said before.

My name is Romano Vargas and the only thing you should know about me is that I'm the biggest idiot in this world.


	29. Chapter 19

"In an hour or so, we can finally go home…"

"Are you that tired?", I grinned as Lilly sighed and stretched her arms up in the air. She looked at me, then at one of the mothers that had come to take her child home.

We couldn't leave until all the children were safely back in their parent's embrace, but we had nothing else to do either and we just sat down on the only bench in the playground, bored out of our minds. We smiled when a mother waved at us goodbye and make sure the rest of the kids were still playing safely as we waited for their parents to come.

Lilly was exhausted. I could see it in the way she closed her eyes and tried to suffocate her yawns. She blushed when I told her it looked cute and then pretended I haven't say anything at all.

"Is Vash coming to take you home?" I asked then, changing subject, trying to kill time. I smiled as one of the kids greeted us goodbye.

"Yes…" Lilly said, "Hey, Antonio…" she suddenly turned to face me, but her eyes were still glued on a point beyond my line of sight. "Do you know that guy? He's been staring at us for a while now…"

"Eh?" I turned around and finally saw the guy she spoke of, leaning against the iron bars of the front gate. My eyes widened as I recognized him and I felt like smiling when I saw he started to fidget when he realized we noticed him.

"Is he a maniac or something…?" Lilly asked, suddenly worried. I looked at her in surprise and then started to laugh.

"No, he is a friend of mine…" I told her and then turned to look at Romano again. He stood there, not knowing what to do, shifting his weight from a leg to the other. I waved at him and shouted: "Romano~"

Some mothers turned to look at us and I saw him blushing from all the unwanted attention. He looked at me, twisted his lips in a displeased manner and almost made to turn around and walk away. I noticed him hesitating, though, and so I realized he really didn't want to leave. I stood up and walked over to him, who watched every move of mine with a mist of surprise and fear.

"Hey…" I told him when I was two feet away from him. I smiled, he looked at me straight in the eyes for a moment and then turned his face away from me.

"Hey…" he whispered and crossed his arms over his chest. I put my hand on his shoulder and he hitched at the touch.

"It's the first time you come to see where I work!" I said, happy, "You came right on time! My turn is over and I can show you around and then… then we can go home together!"

Romano abruptly turned to look at me again, suddenly in panic.

"No! No! Is not that! I… I… well… I was just passing by and… oh, shit!" and he made to walk away again, this time for real. I grabbed his hand right in time and he stopped to stare at our intertwined fingers. His cheeks were red and his eyes were so wide he looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Come on…" I said and dragged him inside in the playground, over to where Lilly was still sitting, staring at us in wonder. Romano started to pull away but to no avail.

"Let me go, bastard! I told you! I was just passing by! It's not like I wanted to see you!"

I ignored his rambling and kept walking towards Lilly.

"This is Romano!" I pulled Romano closer to me, he started complaining but stopped as soon as he noticed Lilly staring at us. "This is Lilly! We work together!" I told him.

Lilly stood up and stretched her hand to Romano with a smile:

"Nice to meet you!"

"Err… nice to meet you too…" Romano said, suddenly polite again and shook her hand. Lilly smiled again and looked at me.

"Were you waiting for Antonio?" Lilly asked then. Romano blushed and looked at me but before he could say anything, Lilly continued: "I guess you'll have to leave now…" she smiled at me and said: "Let me bring you your stuff!" and walked away.

"Don't bother! I'll go take them!" I said after her but she was already inside the building behind us and couldn't hear us anymore. I remained alone with Romano, who seemed really uncomfortable with the turn of events. He kept fidgeting and playing with his own fingers for a while, before he dared to say something to break the silence:

"I can go home on my own, you know…" he exclaimed and looked away, to where the last kids were still playing.

"Oh, of course…" I said, not at all bothered, "I guess we'll see each other in the afternoon then, in the restaurant…"

"Right…" Romano whispered, more to himself than to me. He kept staring at the kids and I couldn't see the expression on his face. There was a moment of silence, where I waited for Lilly to return and for Romano stop being so puzzling.

"I'm glad you are here, though…" I decided to say then and smiled, "…I missed you…" I continued, the words coming from the bottom of my heart.

Romano remained silent and he looked like he was having a mental battle with himself. Suddenly, he said:

"Lilly seems like a nice girl…" he said and I swear I never heard his voice as sad as in that moment. "Why don't you marry her? You seem to have a good chemistry…"

I was totally taken aback by his words and I stared at him at loss with words. I really didn't understand what was going on inside his head but I didn't have the time to ask what was going on that he continued:

"You'll have kids…" he said, "You love kids… you'll be so happy together…"

"What are you talking about?" I suddenly exclaimed, confused out of my mind.

"Isn't that what you fucking want?" he asked, "I can't give you a real family…" he stopped and took a deep, shaking, breath. "Why you keep bothering with me if I can't give you what you really want…?" his voice was chocking with emotion and it took me a second to realize he was actually crying and tried to hide his tears from me. Without another thought I grabbed his hand and pulled him around to look at me. The wetness on his cheeks bothered me and the lower lip was slightly trembling. Embarrassed, he covered his mouth with his hand and looked away.

"You know I'm not interested in Lilly that way… in any woman, really…" I whispered to him. "And it doesn't matter if I can't have kids. This job is enough for me…"

He tried to hide his face from me but I put my hands on his cheeks and made him stare at me.

"What is really going on, Romano?" I asked, worried. I caressed his tears away with my thumbs and he closed his eyes at my touch.

"I know all about the pact." Romano suddenly stated and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't know what to say and I searched for the right words in my mind, but nothing felt right. My silence must have triggered something, because Romano suddenly pushed me away and turned his back to me again, scrubbing his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I always searched for a way to get rid of you and it was so… easy!" Romano suddenly exclaimed. I stared at him. "I never could stand you, Antonio…" he whispered, "I never liked you…" he looked at me. "But _that_…" he made a vague gesture with his hand, "…is all it takes to never see your ugly face again, isn't it?"

His words hurt in a way I never imagine they could. Romano's eyes were red but there was something akin to a smile on his lips. I kept staring at him and he crossed his arms over his chest, in defiance.

"If I have sex with you, you'll let me finally be, right?" Romano suddenly said, his eyes piercing my soul. He looked angry.

I remained silent. A mist of thoughts swirled in my mind: all the boys and girls I've been with. The boredom. I remembered the first time I saw Romano, who didn't give a damn about me and was so unfazed by all my silly attempts to flirt with him. The promise to myself and to my friends I'll get him one day or another.

The fact he was finally willing to spend the night with me.

The things Francis and Gilbert told me that night in the pub.

Then the restaurant. The kisses.

The pact. The promise to never fall in love to myself.

I promised. I made a pact, didn't I?

This is what I wanted all along, isn't it?

"Yes…" I suddenly said and as soon as the word was out, my heart hurt. I felt awful. Shouldn't I feel happy? Romano, on the other, seemed immediately relieved and he sighed, as if he had been expecting this answer for a while.

In that moment, Lilly came out. She smiled at Romano again, who smiled back, all traces he had been crying gone. She walked over to me and gave me all my things as promised.

"Have a nice weekend…" she said then, unaware of all the tension between me and Romano. I smiled at her and said:

"You too… say hello to your brother from me…"

"Of course…"

Romano nodded at her and started to walk away. In the beginning, I didn't know what to do but then decided he probably wanted me to follow him. He was awfully silent, walking some steps before me, and I really didn't know where we were going. When I saw the name of the street we were crossing, I suddenly realized we were heading to my house.

He was keeping his word and I knew that, this time, it wasn't going to be like the first time Romano had come to my house. This wasn't a joke.

I wanted to tell him to stop then but we kept walking in silence until we were finally before my building. Romano stopped and turned to look at me, suddenly unsure of himself. I glanced at the front door and I took the keys out my pocket but I didn't open the door just yet.

I felt like I had something to say but everything seemed wrong. This is what I wanted to do, right? Then why it felt like this? I told myself once again.

Romano seemed to understand my hesitancy, though, because he abruptly seized the keys from my hand and opened the door in my place. Without another word he made a bee line to my apartment and I had nothing else to do but follow him.

I watched him as he turned the key to my apartment with shaking hands and opened the door.

"Your apartment is so dirty!" Romano suddenly said, a flash of the old Romano back, and dropped his coat on the floor. I suddenly felt relieved and closed the door behind me with a soft click.

"Well, I didn't have the time to clean…" I smiled and looked around me. I suddenly realized I didn't know how to move in my own territory and Romano's attitude was making everything more difficult. He hmm-ed as he paced around the living room, as if it was the first time he saw my apartment, and then stopped just in front of me, determined.

I stared into his hazel eyes. This time he didn't advert his eyes from me. He made a step forwards and grasped the front of my shirt, for the first time taking things into his hands and pulling me in for a kiss.

I felt the saltiness of his tears on my lips, his scent in my nostrils. It felt like that time we kissed for the first time and I didn't want to pull back. Not now. Not ever.

I deepened the kiss and encircled his waist with my arms. Only when I felt his fingers on my chest did I realized what exactly we were going to do.

I pushed him a little away and noticed he had managed to unbutton most of my shirt in the process. Romano stared at me, surprised, his eyes half lidded; hiding a lust I didn't know he could posses and that made me shiver inside. I know I was looking the same, but this wasn't the way I wanted us to end. That much was clear to me.

"What?" he said, his voice cracking, suddenly realizing something was wrong.

"You don't need to do this…" I said, half meaning it, half wanting to continue from where we left. Romano shook his head.

"No." he stated, "You _don't_ love me…" he looked away, "No point making me think otherwise. I know what you want and I'm just sick and tired of playing around the subject… I'll fucking give you what you want and in exchange you'll let me finally live in peace… fair and square… _this_ means nothing…" he sounded so convincing that I felt sick to my stomach. "I don't want to see you ever again. If this is the way to get rid of you… then I'm fucking fine with it!"

I don't know why, but my head told me not to believe a word he said. That there was something else behind all of this, but I couldn't pinpoint what.

I tried to think of something else to say, something to clear the situation up, something to make him stay even after _this_, but I found nothing. I just looked at him, studied every inch of his face, the way he blushed and the color of his eyes.

"If that's what you want…" I said then and when I caressed one of his cheeks, he didn't drift away.

"Yes, that's what I want…" Romano whispered and took my hand. He pulled me away from the door, away from the living room and took me inside my room. I couldn't stop thinking that things were going to quickly, that we had something to say first, that if we said this something, everything would be much easier. Fact was, I didn't know what this something was.

He didn't look at me when he closed the door and he remained still for a moment, hiding his face from me, before he turned around to look at me once more. He both made a step forwards together then and without another word I kissed him again. He kissed me back, threw his arms around me and made us both fall on the bed.

I couldn't think anymore after this. Who can? When Romano, the guy I wanted, looked at me in that way? When he let me undress him… when he held me and hid his face in the crook of my neck… when his slightly opened mouth looked so soft and inviting… when there was nothing else in the room, in this world, than him?

He let me inside him more than once.

He whispered my name in my ear and confessed something in Italian to me. Something I would have comprehended in other circumstance but not in this one.

Then, suddenly, everything was over.

We laid down side by side for a while, staring at the ceiling and with his hand still firmly holding mine. We may have fallen asleep sometime too, because when I opened my eyes and looked over the window, it was already dark. In that moment I felt Romano shift and stand slowly up.

I watched as Romano slowly dressed back. He didn't look at me, not once, even if he knew I was awake, and just kept putting his clothes on.

This is how everything is going to end? Am I going back to faceless strangers and meaningless nights? I promised him… no… I promised everyone and to myself too, I'll let him go after this, but I couldn't picture my life without the Nightwave, the restaurant, without Romano anymore.

I had to make a decision. Even if he stated he didn't want me in his life anymore, maybe I still had a chance…

But.

_Never fall in love. _

Romano buttoned his own shirt up.

This is the pact we three made. It would be unfair on their part if… what did _they_ sacrifice for this pact? I wonder…

Romano tied his shoelaces.

I'm in love. I must tell him. Tell him before its too late.

No. I _can't_ be in love.

Romano stood up and walked over to the closed door.

I suddenly stood in a sitting position and moved my arm up as if I could reach him that way.

He opened the door without another glance at me.

I opened my mouth but no words came out…

The door clicked shut.

I made my decision.


	30. Chapter 20

**A.N. Just for those who wonder why I call Romano, Romano, I added a little AN in the second's chapter. :) Now, let's move on. **

After Romano left, I remained laying on the bed for hours.

My mind was empty of thoughts and it took me a lot of courage to stand up and do something, anything, to erase the worthlessness I felt. I dressed, ate, tried to watch some television and do all the things I normally did at that hour of the evening.

It was useless.

It was pathetic.

I felt like everything was pointing at me and shouting 'Idiot!'. Romano's figure from the back, his face as we laid side by side, the warmth of his hand in mine… All these images wouldn't go away and made me suffer in a way I never thought they could.

"Oh, come on…" I suddenly exclaimed to myself. "You'll get over it!"

I told myself that million of times. I tried to convince myself that I didn't love Romano, that I just _thought_ I did, and that now that the lust was gone, that love I felt was gone too. I never broke the pact. All the things I did were a pretext to approach Romano, to make him mine for just a night. I won. The game is over. I had to move on now.

I made the right decision. It would have been much more complicated if I had let Romano stay. Now there was no commitment. No responsibility.

No Romano.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep that night.

I imagined him near me, shouting at me, laughing with me, holding my hand, making plans for the restaurant, deciding what the menu was going to be, kissing me, again and again and again…

And then, suddenly, somewhere around five o'clock in the morning, reality struck me, as if someone had hit me with a huge frying pan.

Oh, God. I am such an idiot!

Fuck the pact. Fuck it all. I still wanted him.

But it was too late now.

"I hate myself…"

"You've been telling us that for a while now but you still didn't analyze why exactly you do…" Francis said, tired expression on his face and coffee still intact between his hands. I glanced at him from up my folded arms and then I turned my head to Gilbert, who was looking at a point beyond my reach, lost in thought.

It was morning. Twelve hours ago Romano had still been with me. Twelve hours ago I thought that there was no problem if I stayed with Romano forever. Twelve hours before I never thought that our pact could hurt so much.

Somewhere around eight, I couldn't stand myself anymore. I needed someone to talk to and the first person I thought of was Francis. I called him and told him I was going to his house. Francis immediately realized something wasn't right and told me he was going to call Gilbert too.

An hour later, we three were sitting around the table in Francis' dining room. He offered us a coffee; no one was in the mood to drink it.

"Don't you get it?" I suddenly exclaimed, looking back at Francis. "I _slept_ with him!" I shouted then and dropped my head back onto the table.

"Was it _that_ bad?" Francis asked then, confused.

"No. It was great…" I said, truthfully, "…the best…" I whispered then, more to the table than to my friends. I heard Francis sigh and Gilbert groan.

"Then what the fuck is your problem?" Gilbert exclaimed, making me look up at him again. "Seriously, Antonio! Isn't that what you tried to get since that damned day we went to the Nightwave for the first time?"

"Yes, but…" I shook my head and bit my lip. "This is not what I wanted at all…"

"Is not?" Francis was confused, "What are you talking about?" he asked then, leaning over the table to look at me better. I felt uneasy under his scrutinizing stare and I looked away, back to Gilbert.

"I don't know, guys…" I laughed nervously, "He did agree to have sex with me… but…" I thought for a moment, suddenly remembering something, "…but he wouldn't have if he hadn't known about the pact…"

"Wait. He knew about the pact?" Francis seemed shocked. He stared at me with wide blue eyes and I laughed nervously again.

"I don't know who told him…" I said. Francis and I shared a look, then, almost in unison, turn our heads over to where Gilbert was standing, strangely in silence. Gilbert looked at us, first at Francis, then at me, then he clicked his tongue and stared down at his fingers.

"Err…" Gilbert suddenly whispered, "I have a confession to make…"

Francis' mouth dropped and I stared at Gilbert confused for a couple of seconds before my brain's gears started turning. Gilbert licked his lips, scratched his head and was looking at everything else that wasn't us.

Realization came: he was the one who told him.

"You told him?" I suddenly shouted, stood up and knocked over the chair in the process. I suddenly saw red and it showed in the way Gilbert made an unconscious step back.

"Calm down, man!" he said, "I was drunk and, anyway, you should be thankful! You said so yourself! Thanks to _me _he finally made The Step!"

I blinked at him in surprise and then tightened my hands into fists. Gilbert stared defiantly at me and waited for what I was going to say next.

"Are you a fucking idiot?" I spat, not restraining myself anymore. "Thanks to _you _I lost the most important thing in this world for me!"

Generally, I can hold my anger, but this time I was livid and I made some steps backwards, away from Gilbert, desperately trying to calm myself down.

"The most important… _what_?" Gilbert exclaimed, suddenly angry. "Are you trying to tell me you _love_ him?"

I turned to look at him and narrowed my eyes at his annoyed expression.

"Yes." I spat, "And now I lost him. Thanks to you!"

Gilbert groaned and ran a hand through his hair, annoyed.

"Well, then, in that case, you should be even more grateful!" he suddenly exclaimed, pointing his index finger at me, "We have a pact! Remember? _You _made that pact! _You _started this mess! And now you think you can break that pact just like that for a little slut?"

I don't remember much what happened then. I just vaguely remember the excitement I felt when Gilbert's bones cracked against my fist. A chair was knocked over and Francis shouted something about staining his carpet with blood.

I looked down at Gilbert as he held his nose in his hands. He looked down at the blood on his fingers in surprise and then looked back up at me and wiped his nose with the back of hand.

"Guys, guys!" Francis shouted at us. He pulled me away from Gilbert and stood in the middle. "This is not going to solve anything!" he tried but neither of us was listening to him.

Gilbert slowly stood up and abruptly pushed Francis away to get closer to me.

"Who do you think you are?" Gilbert said, his voice calm but ready to fight. The blood on his pale face was making him look terrifying but I wasn't scared by him. On the contrary, I couldn't wait to hurt him just a little more.

"Do you think you are the only one who is upset here? That you can change the rules as you want now?" Gilbert added then, stepping closer each question he made.

"Upset for what?" I said, "That your boy-toy doesn't give it to you because you are so into yourself you barely see others?"

Gilbert narrowed his eyes at me and I expected to soon hear the blow but it never came. Francis had once more stood in the middle.

"Enough! Both of you!", Francis shouted and we both turned to look at him, taken aback. It's hard to see Francis angry and the fact made us both stop still. When he was sure we weren't going to hurt each other anymore, Francis sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair. "I know that this would happen one day…" he whispered then.

"What would happen?" Gilbert exclaimed, turning his anger to Francis, who was looking at the blood on his carpet, disappointed.

"That we would eventually fall in love…" Francis stated and put his hands on his waist. "This needs to end. We can't hide behind this pact any longer."

"No one is hiding behind this pact!" Gilbert exclaimed, mimicking Francis' voice, and then pointed at me. "He is the one that has fallen in love and now wants to get out the pact! Doesn't he realize the things I sacrificed so I won't break our promise?" he turned to look at me, "Do you? And now you think you can turn the tables that easily?"

"You are so hiding behind this pact, Gilbert!" Francis shouted, gaining Gilbert's attention once more, "You love Matthew but you don't want to admit it to yourself and pretend you are just going by the rules, only because you are afraid you'll get hurt!"

Gilbert stared at him, taken aback. He opened his mouth, shut it again, and then stared at Francis in silence.

"It was the same thing with Elizabeta!" Francis suddenly added, "You didn't confront your feelings until it was too late. Do you want this to happen with Matthew too?"

"What do you know, anyway…" Gilbert spat then after a long moment of silence. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the stain on the carpet. Francis sighed and smiled.

It was a bittersweet smile, almost imperceptible and it hurt to see him smiling like that. It was as if Francis had lost a part of himself. Gilbert noticed too and raised an eyebrow at Francis, but the blond hid his face from him and turned to look at me once again.

"You love this guy, right?"

I was taken aback by the question. Gilbert turned to look at me, his face for a moment empty of any expression. I felt my heart beat faster and my voice didn't crack when I said:

"Yes"

"You want to spend your life with him, right?" Francis asked then and put his arms on my shoulders. My answer was immediate:

"Yes"

"Then you should take that nice ass you got to him and tell him so!" Francis exclaimed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Let's forget about this pact. Forever. It was stupid anyway: who can tell his heart what to feel? If we keep this up, this is going to destroy us!"

Gilbert was strangely silent. Suddenly, he nodded to himself, took his things and without another word, ran towards the front door. He slammed the door behind him and we stared at the point he had been standing moments ago, in surprise.

"I guess we should…" I whispered after a moment of silence. "This is not about sex anymore. This is about love… I never thought I could love again…"

"Maybe…" Francis grinned, "…maybe you fell in love for the first time! Have you ever thought about it in this way?"

I smiled a little, the turned serious again.

"He doesn't want to see me anymore, Francis." I said, "He hates me. He wants me gone. That's why he accepted to sleep with me…"

"He would have found other ways to get rid of you if he really hated you", he reasoned, "Either way, you should just risk it."

I thought about it for a moment, then I nodded but I didn't want to walk away just yet. I needed one more answer.

"What did you sacrifice for this pact, Francis?"

Francis seemed taken aback and he blinked at me, before he smiled again.

"It is not about what I sacrificed…" he said, "It's about what I let go because of it, so, don't do my same mistake and go to him…"

I didn't understand what he wanted to tell me, of whom he was talking about, and he too didn't let me think as he pushed me away and exclaimed:

"What are you waiting for?"

I didn't wait to be told twice. As Gilbert had done some minutes before, I took my things and walked out of the door.

Maybe what I was going to do will hurt me.

Maybe Romano won't even open the door and all my attempts will be useless.

But I had to try.

No matter what, I had to, because I finally realized that a pact where you swear to never fall in love is stupid and worthless. As Francis said, you can tell your heart how to feel. P. may have hurt me, a lot, but it didn't kill me. On the contrary, she made me realize who the people that are really worth are.

Falling in love hurts, but not taking the risk and walk away, is worse.


	31. Francis 5

**A.N. Here it is finally, the next chapter of Singles. I think you already realized that there are only two chapters left, then this story is over. This chapter is about Francis, so if you really hate FrUk _with all your life_, do not read. Thank you. :) **

Antonio didn't need to be told twice.

His beautiful green eyes sparkled with hope and without another word grabbed his coat and made to go. He grinned at me for a last time before he softly closed the door behind him and left. When I was finally alone, I let out a sigh, and glanced at the still fresh blood stain on my new carpet.

I could wash it away with some water and soap. It hadn't dry yet, I thought. Maybe my carpet wasn't that ruined after all…

And suddenly I groaned and mentally slapped myself.

"What the hell am I thinking?"

My two friends had finally realized that without love you are nothing and I'm here thinking about my carpet. I must have gone mad.

I wanted to smile at the irony of it all, but I couldn't. I must admit: I was slightly jealous of them. They still had a chance and they were going to take whatever opportunity they got left, while I was standing there, alone, thinking about carpets, soap and dry blood stains…

When did I turn this pessimist? I suddenly wondered. When did I ever give up? Don't I always brag about being a master of love and lust? I always thought I could have anyone I wanted, anyone I set my mind on.

Except the one I truly need. It's ironic. Pathetic, even.

My mind suddenly brought me back to some nights ago, when I went to the Nightwave for what I supposed was going to be the last time. I had nowhere else to go and something deep inside me hoped I could run into Arthur…

_I arrived at the club just in time to see Gilbert stand up and falling back down immediately after. I put my arms around him, hoping to soften the fall, and then looked up at a sighing Alfred. _

_"Oh, good! You are here!" Alfred shouted over the music and I finally noticed Arthur snoring on the barstool beside him. I rolled my eyes and then shot a murderous look at Gilbert, who kept sleeping. _

_"Help me out, will ya?" Alfred smiled, taking Arthur bridal style. "My office is right there!" he pointed somewhere on our left, "Will you manage with him?" he asked then. I looked down at Gilbert. He was heavy and kept sliding off my arms. _

_"Yes, yes" I lied, "I'm following you…" _

_"Great!" Alfred exclaimed and walked away into the throb. I groaned and managed to drag Gilbert away. He complained in his sleep, once or twice, but I just kicked him into silence. You are going to pay for this, Gilbert, I told myself. Thank you for ruining my night off. _

_Some minutes later I managed to get to the little office and unceremoniously dropped Gilbert's body on the nearest chair. Alfred, in the meantime, had already managed to put Arthur on a couch. The office was small and as soon as Alfred had closed the door, every outside noise was silenced. _

_"Ah!" Alfred sighed and put his hands on his waist. He stared down at Arthur, who slept peacefully, and then shot a glance at Gilbert. "I called his brother. You can go out and have fun, if you want!" he smiled at me. _

_I looked over to where Arthur was but, no matter how much I wanted to, I didn't dare go any closer. _

_"How much alcohol did he drink?" I suddenly asked. Alfred looked at me, confused for a moment about whom I was speaking of. He followed my line of sight and imperceptibly smiled. _

_"A lot. I lost count at some point…" Alfred said, laughing a little nervously and scratching his head. He glanced at Arthur once more, then turned to look at me. "I hate it when he does that, you know? This is the fifth time in a week." _

_"I know. He is much more annoying when drunk…" I said. Alfred laughed loudly but then shook his head no. _

_"Yeah. I'm with you on that, but there's more to it." he said, "He's been drinking a lot more since…" he stopped, hesitated for a moment and then sighed once again. "Well, since you two met again, actually.."_

_I abruptly turned to look at him, confused and just a little bit hurt. _

_"I'm not angry with you! Don't misunderstand!" Alfred suddenly exclaimed and smiled encouragingly at me. It didn't make me feel any better. I looked down and wondered what I should say. Alfred talked first:_

_"I'm angry at him" he stated, gaining my attention. "He's annoying and stuck up but I love him, you know? I care about him! He's like an older brother of sorts… or, in cases like this, a younger one… I don't know anymore!" he laughed and scratched his head. "I believe I'm the older one!" he decided then with a grin. "And that's why I can't take it when he ignores his problems and drinks gallons of alcohol instead! I can't help him, _be a hero_, in times like this! You know what I mean?" he looked at me but didn't wait for an answer. _

_"I know you do, because we have something in common. I know Arthur long time…" Alfred continued then, "We had our ups and downs but he is a dear friend of mine. Since I first met him, he talked about you a lot… of course, I didn't know your real name was Francis…" he laughed again, "He called you Snail… or was it a Frog? I don't remember which animal… err… nevermind! The important fact is that your name pops up in every conversation with him… and well, to cut a long story short…" but Alfred finally stopped to regain breath but, unexpectedly, he didn't continue. _

_Gilbert murmured something in his sleep and I glanced at him before I looked at Arthur again. Alfred suddenly looked lost in thought. I shot a quick look at him and then made my way to where Arthur was. I kneeled down next to him and then pushed some hairs away from Arthur's face. _

_My fingers on his skin must have triggered something, because he slightly opened his eyes and looked at me. I don't know if he was really seeing me or not, but, for the slightest of seconds, a ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. He slowly rose his hand, touched my cheek with two fingers and then he closed his eyes again. His hand fell back on the floor. _

_"This is what I'm trying to say…" Alfred said and I turned to look at him, getting over the shock. "He is bottling everything inside. He is so angry at himself and I really don't know what to do…"_

_Alfred was staring at me. _

_"He told me he loved me a week ago, you know?" Alfred suddenly confessed, startling me. "It was unexpected, really, but it wasn't something that could destroy our friendship. It's not the truth, anyway."_

_"No, you're wrong." I stated, talking for the first time. "He _does_ love you…" I added, remembering the last time Arthur and I talked. "He told me so too. I… I think you would be great together…" _

_The words hurt me but, as I stared down at Arthur, I knew I meant them. _

_"Francis…" Alfred started. I suddenly felt angry and I stood abruptly up. _

_"Alfred. Please. Arthur wants you, not me. You are the one he wants to spend his life with. Stop saying things just to make me feel better. He hates me. We are not even friends…" I made some steps to where Gilbert was. I felt Alfred's eyes on me and I wasn't surprised when he grabbed my shoulder and exclaimed:_

_"Of course you are not friends! You _can't_ be just friends!" _

_I raised my eyebrow at him but, before I could open my mouth to retort, the door slammed open and we turned to look at Ludwig, who stared at as from the other side of the room. _

_"Feliks told me you would be here…" Ludwig explained and then spotted his brother. He sighed and shook his head. "I'm taking that idiot home."_

_"I'll help you…" I said, immediately taking my chance to leave. I took Gilbert's legs while Ludwig took him by the arms. Alfred helped us too and that way we easily managed to get the unconscious Gilbert out of the club and inside Ludwig's car. _

_When Ludwig said his thanks and hopped in the driver's seat, I looked at Alfred and said:_

_"Take care of him…" _

_Alfred nodded. _

And then I was suddenly staring down at a dry blood stain again. I remembered that Gilbert was now trying to talk with Matthew and that Antonio was trying to make everything better with Romano again, while I was doing nothing.

"There is nothing to do!" I said to myself, suddenly angry. "I should just stop doing this to myself…"

In that moment I wondered what Alfred and Arthur were doing and then I thought about all the things Alfred had told me that day in the club.

I did say to Antonio that sometimes we should just take the risk, didn't I? Maybe it won't get me anywhere, but at least I will have tried. I played various scenarios in my head, then I nodded to myself and made a bee line to my bedroom. Ten minutes later I was ready to go. I took everything I needed and left.

For just the slightest of moments I really thought that what I was going to attempt was crazy but I knew that I was going to regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't. My resolution became stronger when I passed by the little flower shop that was some streets away from my building.

I love this shop. It's the same shop I buy one-night-stand after one-night-stand the roses I leave next to my partners before I leave. Eventually I came to know the owner of the shop: a young woman from Brussels, with golden hair and big green eyes, who likes to laugh a lot and tease her clients. I like her a lot but, unfortunately, nothing happened between us, and, if things will go well that day, nothing was going to happen for a long, long time.

She was tending to some daisies when I called her and she lifted her eyes to look at me. When she recognized me, she smiled brightly and let go of the scissors in her hands.

"Good morning, Mr. Bonnefoy! Another night of passion?" she laughed and made to go inside her shop, "A rose, I suppose…" she added then but before she could make another step forwards, I stopped her.

"No" I said and she looked at me, confused, "This time is different. It's for someone really special." I added then. She turned to look at me and tilted her head.

"Oh, did we finally find the right one?" she asked, smiling "She must be really beautiful. How many red roses do you need this time?"

I thought about it for a while and then said:

"Fifteen"

This time she looked even more confused but she nodded and went inside to get my roses. I followed her and some minutes later she handed me a beautiful bouquet of big red roses. I paid and took the roses carefully in my hands.

"Good luck!" she said with a smile and I laughed a little to myself. Luck. You don't know how much I really need it!

I took the bus, careful of the bouquet in my arms. I was scared that even the tiniest flower will be ruined. I sat next to an old lady, who even asked me for whom those beautiful roses were destined too.

"Ah, love…" she said with a smile. "It's a dangerous thing, isn't it? But a man who hasn't loved, is a half man… that what they say… I think… my memory is not that good…" she laughed and I laughed with her.

"Good luck, young man!" the old lady said with a smile as soon as I arrived to destination. I slightly bowed at her, smiled and got off the bus.

All those 'good luck's must have done something, for I didn't go far from the bus stop that I saw Arthur and Alfred talking before Arthur's building. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I supposed it was something important from the way Arthur blushed. Eventually, they noticed me and Alfred even waved at me. Arthur tried to lower the other's hand but it was a futile move.

I decided I should just start walking and sooner that I thought I was already standing before Arthur. The British looked at me, straight in the eyes, and I gazed at him right back. Neither of us talked and it was Alfred who broke the silence between us.

"I must go!" Alfred suddenly said with a grin. "I have to buy something for the… ehm… the club! See you, Arthur! Francis!"

"No, wait!" Arthur shouted, stretching his hand to Alfred. "Don't leave me alone with this git!"

Alfred laughed, ignored Arthur's hand and ran away, waving at us all the way. When he disappeared around the corner, Arthur finally turned to face me again. His eyes dropped to look at the roses I was still holding and remained silent.

"I…" I opened my mouth. I wanted to say a lot of things but nothing came out. Everything seemed worthless and pathetic. It was Arthur who finally spoke first.

"So…" he said, his lips twisting in a disgusted expression and his eyes not leaving the roses I carried, "Are you taking these roses to a new slut of yours?" he asked and crossed his arms over his chest. "Does he lives near?" he asked then and looked around him, as if he expected someone to come over to where we were standing, kiss me and take the roses away from my hands.

"Actually…" I said, smiling a little, "These are for you…" and I handed him the bouquet. His eyes went wide and he looked up at me, then down at the roses and then back at me again. I expected him to take them and throw them away, laugh at me or even say something insulting but he did nothing. The shock was too much.

"Eh?" he gasped. He looked at the roses again, confused and just a little bit scared. With shacking hands he took the roses in his hands and kept staring at them. When I was sure he wasn't going to laugh at me or throw the roses away, I started to talk:

"I've been thinking. Whatever we had in High School, whatever we had when we were young, whatever we are having now it's dysfunctional, crazy and great. I'll never find what we two have with anybody else. So, even if you love someone else, even if we will spend all our life hating each other and try to make our lives miserable, I won't stand not having you by my side again. These past years had been a nightmare without you."

He didn't look up at me when he said:

"What is this supposed to mean?"

I searched for the right words. Everything could be used against me, Arthur's patience wasn't one of his virtues and I didn't want to fight.

"I was stupid when I took you for granted and didn't realize what I was going to lose when we were sixteen and I'm not going to do it now that we are twenty-six. If you love Alfred, that's fine. I'll live, I'll accept it, as long as it makes you happy, as long as I can still see you, fight with you, laugh with you… I'll be okay. But if you loved me… no, if you _still_ love me, we should just try and see what happens, or we'll both regret it."

Arthur looked at me, his eyes so big and his mouth slightly open for the surprise and the shock. Then suddenly he looked down at the roses in his hands and remained silent once again. I felt disappointed, frustrated even by his lack of answer, but I said what I had to say and I felt slightly better. Arthur kept adverting his eyes from me and I took it as my clue to go away. I sighed and made a step backwards to go away. In that moment Arthur looked again at me:

"Why roses?"

That was an easy question. I smiled as I answered:

"It's your favorite flower. It's the only thing we have in common…" I explained. Arthur fell silent again and I made to turn away once again.

"It's not!" Arthur exclaimed suddenly and I stopped in my tracks, "I mean…" he looked at me, straight in the eyes, "It's not _your _favorite flower. You like red roses for what they represent, because they are the symbol of passion and love and all that shit, but that doesn't make it your favorite flower. You love lilies…"

I blinked at him for a moment, surprised, then I felt like grinning (and probably did).

"That's why I love you." I said, meaning every word. "That's why I don't want to lose you again."

Arthur didn't say anything for a long minute, then he smiled a little.

"Fifteen roses, huh?" he whispered. He fell silent again, then looked at me.

"I told Alfred I loved him…" Arthur suddenly said, almost embracing his roses. "He told me that maybe I did, but not to the extent I thought. Pretty deep for an idiot like him, no?" he smiled a little, "He surprised me with what he said and then went on and on about you, that I'm not going to love anybody else as much I love you. He begged me to think about it. He forbade me to even drink until we two talk. The git. He doesn't know he can't forbid me a glass of whiskey once in a while. You, on the other, know that we are going to fight if you tell me not to go to the pub and even come with me and drink that shit you call champagne…" he slowly walked over to where I stood and together we started to walk.

"But, nevertheless…" Arthur added, staring at the roses. "… the fact that you know me and I know you, more than everybody else in this world, doesn't make us friends. You said so too…" his voice turned a little bitter and I suddenly remembered Alfred's words that night. I almost grinned at the final realization.

"Of course we aren't!" I exclaimed and Arthur abruptly turned his head to me, "We _can't_!"

"We can't?" Arthur repeated.

"What kind of friends are we, Arthur?" I suddenly asked, "You too will have to agree that we don't act like friends. Sometimes, though, we don't act like enemies either. What are _we_, Arthur?" I asked again. I knew the answer to the question and I really hoped that Arthur too knew.

Arthur's face was impassible but for the slightest of moments I saw the realization in his eyes. How much I missed those green eyes, I suddenly thought. How much do I love those really big eyebrows of him? Even their unattractiveness was going to be missed if he was gone…

"It's a big risk." Arthur suddenly furrowed the aforementioned eyebrows and pulled the roses closer to his chest, "You don't really know how much I thought about it. You don't know how many times I wondered what it would feel like. It's going to be great in the beginning. I know. But I finally realized… it's not going to work, Francis. Blimey, Francis! What if we fight? What if you find someone else that is handsomer than me? What about the pact… about…"

"Forget about the pact!" I suddenly exclaimed. I had totally forgotten about it and when Arthur mentioned it I felt angry. I put my hands on his shoulders and took his chin with two fingers, making him look at me. He slapped my hands immediately away but remained where he was, waiting for what I was going to say.

"I'm in love with you. I fell in love with you when I was ten but didn't get it because we were too young, fell in love with you when I was sixteen but didn't get it because I thought you would always be there and Antonio seemed like a good choice, and I fell in love with you all over again _no_w. As for if it's going to work or not, I don't know and you don't know either. If we will fight, you ask… Of course we will. If I'll find someone else, you ask… Well, did I find anyone else till now?"

"No?" Arthur asked, hugging the roses close: the only obstacle between us. I wanted so much to lean in and kiss him. I wanted Arthur to stop doubting.

"No." I stated. Arthur 'oh'-ed and I finally let go of him. We started walking together again, this time in silence. I suddenly felt his fingers brushing mine and I didn't look at him as I entwined our fingers together.

"I'm still angry at you…" Arthur said, after a moment, as we kept walking. His hand was warm and I wanted so much to bring it near my lips.

"Hee…" I laughed, "Of course, you are."

He snorted too.

"Fifteen roses are not enough to say you're sorry…" he added then.

"How many do you need?" I smiled at him and he snorted again but didn't answer.

"Alfred would be a better choice than you…" he said then.

"Go to him then…" I responded, the smile still on my lips. Arthur didn't let go of my hand.

"We've got a lot to catch on…" Arthur said then.

"Yes, we do…" I agreed.

"Why did you change idea?" Arthur suddenly asked, daring to glance at me. "I mean, you are so stupid and proud, why the heck did you decide to make the first move?"

"Oh, that's easy…" I said, "Antonio and Romano slept together and my idiot Spaniard friend _finally_ realized what he was going to lose if he kept thinking about the pact. I finally realized I was acting just as foolishly and that I'm going to regret it all my life if I didn't talk with you. Moreover, what kind of hypocrite would I be, if I write about love and how amazing it is, but never gave it much of a chance?"

"You are a hypocrite anyway…" Arthur said. I pouted at him.

"That's mean~" I whined. He raised his eyebrow and humph-ed.

"It's true, just get over it."

We kept walking.

"Does that mean you won the bet?" Arthur suddenly asked. I furrowed my eyebrows and thought for a moment what he meant. He was blushing and I suddenly remembered.

"Oh, why yes! Antonio slept with Romano in the end!" I grinned and stopped walking. He stopped too and scowled at my too-happy-I-suppose expression. "And you lost! This means I have to get something in return!"

"You deserve nothing!" Arthur exclaimed. "And, anyway, we didn't bet on anything."

"Mmm…" I pretended to think for a while, "Let's decide now! I won… a kiss!"

"A kiss?" Arthur widened his eyes. "Oh, no! The hell I'm going to kiss you!" he shouted. "I prefer to give you money!"

"You are not romantic at all!" I whined, "Fine then. Treat me to lunch! You even know which my favorite restaurant is!"

"No!" Arthur exclaimed, "Your choice in food is too expensive!"

"Then kiss me…"

"No! Not here for everyone to see! Even if we were alone, I would never kiss those frog's lips of yours! You are so disgusting and I'm still angry at you, remember? And…!"

I didn't let him finish. I couldn't contain myself anymore. I leaned down over the roses and kissed him directly on the lips. Arthur remained still for a moment.

Then the roses dropped to the floor.

And he kissed me back.

Because… you know what? It was since the first day we met that we wanted to.


	32. Gilbert 5

Logic is a pain in the ass, sometimes. For example:

I hate cowards.

Cowards are un-awesome.

I acted like one.

Therefore, I hate myself AND I'm un-awesome.

Great.

YEARS and YEARS of _self-esteem_ thrown in the trash.

Here's another one:

If someone doesn't answer to his phone, either he can't or he doesn't want to.

Matthew wasn't answering.

Matthew answers every fucking time, even when he can't, because he's too kind and no one will notice if he is speaking to the phone or not. Simply as that.

Therefore, Matthew didn't want to speak to me.

Damn it.

BUT that wasn't going to let me down. It can't go any worse than this… I'm already un-awesome enough it seems. Does this mean I should rewrite all my history again?

"Answer! Answer!" I shouted as I walked (fuck it, ran) and tripped over people in my haste to get… where the hell did I want to go anyway?

Everyone was looking at me as if I had just run away from a mental hospital. Oh, yeah…! I had totally forgotten about the blood on my face and my awesome red eyes. Haha! They probably thought I was a killer or something… that would be fun… NO! Focus! This is not the time for jokes!

"VERDAMMT! Answer!" I yelled to my phone. I dialed his number once more (third time's a charm, they say) and I waited for him to answer again. I'm not going to give up that easily. Not now that I'm so close…! He knows I can go on all week long if I have to.

"What is it, Gilbert?"

Matthew finally answered. His voice was tired and I could picture him massaging his temples, trying to calm himself down.

"Where are you?" I immediately exclaimed, afraid that he was going to change his mind and hang up on me. There was a long moment of silence, in which I knew that Matthew was seriously wondering if he should just shut the phone in my face or not. "I need to speak to you. Now. Please, tell me where you are!" I shouted. I tried to use the calmest voice I could, but I was desperate. All I thought about was that if he hung on me then, there was no way he was going to answer me ever again.

"Is this more important than what I confessed to you some days ago?" Matthew suddenly asked. I knew he was angry even if his voice was calm and composed.

"It is! It really is!" I exclaimed then, trying to buy time. I didn't know if that was the correct answer or not. Either way all it drew out of Matthew was a quiet sigh.

"Please…" I tried again as I kept walking. I was heading to Matthew's house but I was ready to take a taxi at any moment. Matthew remained silent for a while more before he finally made up his mind. He told me where he was and then added:

"What is it, Gilbert?" this time he seemed even more tired. I checked the street's name and grinned at the realization that Matthew wasn't that far away after all.

"Stay where you are! I'm going to kill myself if I don't find you there! I swear!" I said and hung up, ignoring Matthew's suddenly worried questions. The fine justifies the mean, they say, and I started to openly run. It took me less than a minute to find the street I was searching for.

Luck was on my side, it seemed, because I suddenly recognized Matthew's face among many. He was looking around him, evidently searching for me, and as I pushed people away, I decided it was time for me to show up.

"MATTHEW!" I shouted with all the breath that I still held onto and Matthew turned abruptly to me, startled. Someone even stopped and stared at us but I couldn't care less. Matthew shot those people a worried glance and he quickly walked to where I was, all the time smiling nervously at passersby.

"Gilbert, what is the meaning of—"

He suddenly looked up and stared at my face and whatever he wanted to say died in his throat. He blinked at me and then started to blurt:

"Oh, my God! Gilbert! What the hell happened to you!" he shouted and frantically searched for something in his pocket. "Did you get in a fight? What's going on!" he added, took a handkerchief out and started wiping my face. Oh, yeah… the bloody nose… damn, is Antonio strong when he wants to be? I gently pushed his hands away and he looked up at me once more, this time confused.

"What?" his voice shook. I couldn't take it anymore and suddenly tired, I fell on my knees, hugged him and hid my face in his belly. Matthew stilled in my arms and I was sure that he had become ten shades of red. I hugged him even closer then, feeling his warm body against mine and wondering how I could I ever thought I could live without that scent on my skin.

"People are staring!" Matthew suddenly said and he put his hands on my shoulders, trying to push me away.

"…don't care…" I mumbled.

"It's weird, Gilbert." Matthew said then, his voice soft this time. I didn't move. I could feel him breathing, it was an amazing sensation.

Once more, he tried to push me away. We were in a public place, after all, and I too realized that it could look weird to other people, but I really couldn't care less.

"They are probably wondering why you are hugging thin air…" Matthew suddenly said. I let out a chuckle at that.

"God, I love you…" I mumbled then. I felt his fingers run through my hair and his body suddenly relaxing as soon as the words went out my mouth.

"Did you bump your head?" Matthew tried again.

I laughed once again.

"No." I stated.

"Come on…" Matthew said then, "Everybody's watching."

"Let them…" I snickered.

"Gilbert..." Matthew tried again. I ignored him.

"Do you want to know why I'm holding you like this and don't give a damn about what people are saying right now?"

"Because… you are you…?" Matthew tried. Good answer, but not the right one.

"Because _I love you_ and I don't want to let go. Ever."

Matthew's fingers were still in my hair but he stopped talking altogether when I confessed this to him. I finally sighed, let go and finally dared to look up at Matthew's face. He was looking at a point beyond me and he retracted his hands from me. I remained on my knees.

"I'm a jerk. I shouldn't have said those things to you in the first place! I don't mean anything I told you! I'll explain everything to you! I'll tell you why I said the things I said and then you can decide if you still want me or not. I freaked out when you said you love me but not for the reasons you think. I have been in love with you for a while. I never wanted us to be just friends, I never wanted your body only, there are a thousand reasons I want to stay with you… you see I freaked out, because…"

Suddenly Matthew put his hand on my mouth, finally shutting me up.

"You _do_ talk a lot…" Matthew said. "Please, just stand up now."

"But I have to explain myself!" I exclaimed then, doing as he said and finally looking at him straight in the eyes. Matthew's face was unreadable and I felt like he was going to turn around and leave me at any moment. I had to make the most of it. "You see, my friends and I…!"

Once more he interrupted me.

"I don't care." Matthew stated. "I don't care why you freaked out. I just… don't…"

My heart broke. Matthew was serious and even crossed his arms over his chest: a clear sign of rejection.

"But…!"

"Seriously, Gilbert!" Matthew suddenly snapped. I was taken aback by it and I blinked at him, hurt and confused at the same time. Suddenly, Matthew sighed and with the handkerchief he was still holding in his hand, wiped the last traces of blood from my face. "Do you think we need to go to a doctor?"

"It's…" I blinked at him. Matthew touched my face, then my nose. I gulped. "It's not broken."

"Are you sure?" Matthew furrowed his brows. "It looks like it…" he said and kept touching my face with the tissue at hand. I suddenly grabbed his hands and made him look at me. I opened my mouth to say something but, for the first time in my life, I had nothing to say.

"Seriously, Gilbert…" Matthew sighed then, "Are you that thick?"

"What?" I was at loss with words. Matthew sighed again and started talking slowly, the same way they speak to the retarded.

"I don't give a damn about your reasons. Do you remember what I told you that day? Or are you so egocentric you only hear yourself?"

I blinked at him, taken aback, and suddenly Matthew almost grinned:

"I told you that you don't have to tell me what it is, that I'll understand… as long as you tell me what you _really_ feel for me. You say you love me and that you don't want us to be just friends. It's enough for me."

I wanted to groan in frustration and I run a hand through my hair.

"But you don't trust me!" I suddenly exclaimed. "How will you possibly trust me, if I don't tell you why?"

Matthew sighed, raised a hand and stopped a taxi, without much of a glance to me. I followed him inside the car and looked at him, sitting beside me.

"You call me this early, ask me where I am, run to me with blood all over your face, fall on your knees in the middle of the road…" Matthew says, raising a finger at each statement. "You beg me to listen to you and are almost ready to cry…" he added then, with a smirk.

"I'm not…!" I immediately started. Matthew shook his head and continued:

"Either you are mad, which is probable considering your mental condition, or you really want this to work." Matthew said. "I'm not stupid, Gilbert. Now just shut up."

I don't know how long I remained staring at him. The world gone crazy, that much I was sure. Matthew kept staring out the window, throughout the ride. Suddenly, the taxi stopped, Matthew paid the driver and got off the car. I looked around me and I finally realized that we were standing before Matthew's building. He took my hand and I followed him inside.

The world gone mad, I repeated to myself.

"So…" I decided to break the silence. Matthew glanced at me and opened the door to his apartment. "So… do you want to go out with me?" I finally blurted out. Matthew laughed a little and said:

"And what were we doing all this time, exactly?"

That was it. I lost it. I couldn't control myself anymore.

The world gone mad.

But if the world came to this, who _am I _to complain?

I grabbed him by the arm and kissed him directly on the lips. He didn't push me away and even kissed me back just as eagerly, in a way I never expected shy Matthew to kiss me.

What happened afterwards, it's for me to know and for you to find out. Don't be nosy.

Anyway, when I returned home that day, an idea popped into my mind. My heart started beating really fast, as if it was telling me that I still had to do something really important.

I immediately started to search in the all my diar-, I mean, all my journals, until I found what I wanted. I let out a victorious yelp and ran to get my phone. This was not the time for doubts, I told myself, and I immediately dialed the phone number at hand.

The phone rang. I gulped once (just once) and waited.

"Hello? Elizabeta speaking!"

After all this years, her voice was as cheerful and childish as ever. I felt a pang of melancholy and for a moment I wondered if she would speak to me if I told her who I was.

"Err…" I mentally slapped myself, "Hello, Elizabeta!" I tried again, this time answering with a smile on my face, "This is the awesome Gilbert!"

"Gilbert?" a moment of silence, "Gilbert!" another moment of shocked silence and then I heard her tell someone else: "Oh, my god, it's Gilbert!" then she immediately started bombarding me with questions: "Why did you never call, you idiot! Do you know how sad I was when you told me you couldn't come to my wedding? I thought you hated me and… and… what the hell happened to you! I NEED to know everything!"

I wanted to laugh. My heart didn't hurt that much when I heard her voice. On the contrary, I wondered why I didn't call her all this years.

"I think I should apologize for that…" I said.

"You must!" Elizabeta screeched from the other side, "I'm so angry with you! But… don't worry! I have a lot of photos to show you!"

"I'm sure the wedding was totally boring without me around!" I cheerfully said.

"Indeed." Elizabeta agreed, "There was no one there to awesomely barf on my new wedding dress! What a pity!"

"You are so mean!"

"And you are an idiot! What's going on with you?"

"Oh, a lot of things…" I grinned, "We should meet sometime! You must meet my boyfriend…" I told her. There was a long moment of silence and then, suddenly, a scream of joy.

"Oh, my god! You've got a boyfriend!" Elizabeta started. "How's he's like? How old is he? How long have you been dating?"

"I can't say such things on the phone…" I whined.

"Well, you are right!" Elizabeta agreed, "You must come here to tell me everything! You know my new address, right?"

We stayed hours talking on the phone and even after we hung up, we knew that we still hadn't said anything. She confessed me she and Roderich had a little baby girl on the way and that her two years old brother couldn't wait to have a sister.

I met him two days after our phone call. Damn, he is cute and looks like his mother so much, it's amazing! Elizabeta was just like I remembered her to be. As soon as she saw me, she slapped me hard across the face and then hugged me for hours on end.

I brought Matthew along with me and he too got his ration of hugs and non-stop questions. Elizabeta managed to make him go red in a matter of seconds and I really don't think Matthew had a very good first impression of her. But, neither did I in the beginning, no?

Strangely enough, Roderich was happy too see me too but he was more composed about it. I have to say, I missed him a little too. I missed all that hating.

But what shocked me the most, what I never expected to hear, was the following question:

"Do you want to be the godfather of our baby girl?"

It took me a lot to answer and only when Matthew kicked me awake, did I say:

"Hell yeah! I'm going to be an awesome godfather! Don't worry, I'll raise her well!"

"I hope not…" Roderich said.

"Oh, shut up!" I exclaimed, "If she is lucky, she didn't take anything after you! I'll teach her a lot of things! She is going to be JUST LIKE me!"

"Don't you dare, Gilbert!"

Oh, well. _Almost_ like me.

"Err… I don't think is going to be that bad…" Matthew whispered then. Everyone turned to look at him. "Or not?"

I grinned. At least there is SOMEONE in this world that understands me! And to show how much I agreed with him, I kissed him right then, much to Elizabeta's delight.

With this a big chapter of my life was finally over.

With Matthew beside me, everything was finally falling into place.


	33. Chapter 21

You know what?

Even then, when I was ready to pour my heart out, beg Romano to come with me, ask him if he wanted to be mine, even when I wasn't having any more doubts and was sure Romano was the _one_… even then…

I was scared.

I was really scared shitless. What if? My mind kept telling me. What if it's going to be like before, when I was with P.? What if I was right? That love can't last and that only lust is what attracts us to someone else? If that was it, was this going to end too eventually? Was it going to hurt?

And then, the most important question of all, that made the other questions completely pointless:

Would Romano forgive me?

Romano may really not want me. What did I have to offer? Nothing. The only thing I had to offer was myself and, seriously, that's not really much.

Nevertheless, after the talk with Francis, I hopped into my car and decided I should just try, because letting go of that opportunity would be really stupid and who had the courage to regret something this big all his life?

"Not me." I said out loud, parking in the worst manner I ever parked in my life before Romano's building. I didn't care if they were going to fine me and just ran towards the front door I knew so well. Now there was just one obstacle to surpass: Romano's stubbornness.

I pressed his doorbell and waited. I was sure that the conversation we… or better yet, I was going to have, was going to happen there, before that damned front door, because Romano wouldn't want to open up to me. Even so, I waited.

"Who is it?~"

I almost had a heart attack at the sound of that voice but, soon enough, all I wanted to do was grin, because luck was finally by my side.

"Hello! Feliciano!" I whispered, almost afraid that Romano would hear my voice if I talked too loudly and would keep his brother from opening the door to me. There was a long moment of silence, in which I thought Feliciano hadn't recognized my voice.

"Hey… ehm…" he said, then there was another moment of silence, before he whispered: "I'm not sure he wants to talk to you right now…"

Feliciano's whispering must have gained Romano's suspicions, because, immediately after Feliciano's words, I heard the oldest Vargas shout:

"Who is it?"

"No one!" Feliciano shouted and the door immediately clicked open. I didn't know if Feliciano had opened the door by mistake or if he had done it on purpose, either way Romano didn't seem to have taken it very well. I could hear him shouting in Italian from the first floor and I decided I should run, if not to talk to Romano, to at least save his brother from sure death.

I arrived at destination a minute later, panting and with my heart beating so madly I thought I would die just then. I saw Feliciano moving his hands around, the special way Italians do, and Romano literally kicking him out of his house. In that moment, the two brothers finally noticed me and stopped whatever they were doing to stare at me.

Feliciano almost smiled at me and he would have waved at me too if he wasn't trying to hold the door to Romano's apartment open.

Romano's eyes were wide. His mouth was shaped in a delicious little 'o' that made my heart start beating even faster, if that was possible. There was confusion in those eyes…

A confusion, that didn't last long.

"What the HELL are you doing here?" Romano's eyes were angry and with sudden force, managed to push his brother away from the door. Feliciano fell on the floor but immediately got on his feet to stand between me and Romano.

"Please, Romano. Calm yourself down!" Feliciano shouted. Romano looked down at his brother, then looked at me again and made a step backwards.

"I need to speak to you…" I said, putting a hand on Feliciano's shoulder and propping him to go away. Romano stared at my hand hard and his mouth turned into a scowl.

"I gave you what you wanted." Romano stated, his voice venom in my ears, "You promised me you were going to disappear from my life forever."

"I know, but…!" I tried again. Romano violently shook his head.

"I don't know why you came here, but you should leave." Romano said and made to return back to his apartment.

"Romano! Maybe the man wants…!" Feliciano tried. Romano's eyes were red with anger.

"I DON'T fucking care what he wants!" Romano shouted, losing his temper once more, "I already gave it to him and I never agreed to another round."

"This is not what I want, I swear to you!" I shouted and pushed Feliciano gently away. Romano looked at me, his face unreadable, and I dared to walk closer to him. I noticed his hand turn into a tiny fist and then suddenly relax.

"I learned my lesson…" I continued, my voice calmer this time. My words triggered Romano curiosity and he raised an eyebrow at me.

"What lesson?" he whispered, then shook his head and made to disappear inside his apartment again. I almost ran to him and grabbed his arm, finally making him turn and look at me.

"I was wrong, Romano!" I said, "I was so damn wrong. Forget the pact, forget what I agreed to yesterday, I don't want just a one-night-stand with you…"

"Well, excuse _me_, but I'm not your personal whore!" Romano suddenly interrupted and slammed my hand away, "So, if you could _please _get the fuck away from here, I swear I'm not going to kill you."

"Romano. I love you." I stated then, grabbing his arm again. Romano stilled and abruptly turned to look straight into my eyes.

"What?" Romano's eyes went wide and made a step backwards but my grip on his arm was too firm and he couldn't run away.

"I love you." I repeated, "And I know you may not feel the same way about me, but… I do." I sighed, "And I want to thank you for this."

"Thank me?" Romano's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Listen." he said when he finally got over the shock, "You swore to never fall in love… and…"

"Yes! _Yes!_" I laughed, interrupting him. He looked at me, surprised, "I did! That is why I want to thank you! You made me realize how boring and dull and pathetic or whatever you want to call it my life was before I met you. You made me realize that I can't keep from loving you, no matter what I tell myself. You make me feel alive, Romano. I want to thank you for letting me fall in love with you."

"You don't make any sense." Romano exclaimed and slammed my hand away but there was no strength in his slap. "I…" he looked away, "You know what? I don't believe you. I think you just want to have sex with me another time, until you'll finally get bored with me and start looking for someone else. _That's_ what I think." Romano said. "No one has ever truly loved me anyway, so why I should believe you…" he stated more than asked and I suddenly felt angry at him.

"In that case, you are an idiot." I said and Romano looked at me, shocked. "You really think you are only worth for a one-night-stand? You really think it would be that easy for someone that fell in love with you to start searching for someone else? Do you really think you are not worth fighting for?"

Romano's eyes were glued to mine.

"You don't make any fucking sense…" Romano repeated then. Romano's voice shook and he immediately adverted his eyes away from me. "I'm going to hurt you. I don't love you." He suddenly said, looking at me straight in my eyes again.

"It…" I sighed and kept smiling, "It doesn't matter." I said then. Romano bit his lips.

"Would you do it all over again, even after I told you that? Would you still break your stupid pact?"

"Of course I would." My response was immediate and Romano clearly was surprised by it. "I would still have tried, you know, back then at the Nightwave, to talk to you. I would still help you with the restaurant… I would still be here, with you, trying to make this work…"

Romano stared at me. He looked impassible but I noticed his lip tremble slightly. He suddenly shook his head and made a step backwards.

"If you want me to disappear, I will. I won't bother you again, Romano." I said then. Romano looked up at me again and then slowly nodded.

I smiled.

"This was the best period of my life. I will never forget you. Here goes another reason why I want to thank you, even if you don't love me."

Romano bit his lip again, looked down, then back at me. His silence was killing me but I took it as my clue to go.

"So, goodbye…" I whispered. Romano nodded and turned his back to me.

"Goodbye." he said, entered his apartment and closed the door softly behind him without much of a glance at me. I stared at the closed door for a long moment and then I decided I should just go.

In the meantime, I had totally forgotten about Romano's brother. Feliciano was looking at me, his eyes the same color of his brother's, and took my hand.

"I'm so sorry…" he said, as we made our way downstairs together, away from Romano's apartment. I smiled at him a little. We remained in silence for a long time, neither of us wanting to leave just yet.

"I really like you!" Feliciano said then, "It would be so weird without you around, pinning after Romano." He continued and when we were out he finally let go of my hand.

"We will see each other again, Feli!" I said, trying to look happy even if I wasn't. "You are dating my friend's brother, after all! We ought to see each other sooner of later!"

"Oh, right!" Feliciano exclaimed, smiling. "You are so right!" he laughed, "Well. So… see you!"

"Yeah… see you…" I whispered and watched as Feliciano ran away. I made some steps away, back to my poorly parked car, when the unthinkable happened:

"OH!" someone shouted. "HAVE YOU STOPPED HARASSING MY BROTHER?"

I looked around me and then I realized that the voice was coming from above. I looked up to see Romano looking down from one of the windows of the building I just got out of. Some passersby stopped to stare at him, wondering what happened.

Romano was looking at me and even from down there I could see him scowling. We remained like that for a long moment, looking at each other, when suddenly Romano opened his mouth again:

"DON'T FORGET TO BRING ME A BLUEBERRY MUFFIN WHEN YOU RETURN BACK HERE! GOT IT, BASTARD?"

Then he slammed the window and disappeared back inside the building. I blinked in confusion, then my heart started beating frantically in my chest and a smile slowly appeared on my face. I wondered for a moment if I _really _should go and buy a blueberry muffin, before I told myself that I should just run back inside before Romano changed idea again.

The door immediately clicked open at my touch and the adrenaline in my veins made me almost fly all the stairs back to Romano's apartment. In a second I was back where I had been standing less than ten minutes before and I couldn't refrain from grinning when I noticed the Italian waiting for me with the door open and with his arms crossed over his chest.

When I was finally a step away from him, he blushed:

"Where's my blueberry muffin?" he asked.

"…don't have it…" I stated between pants and waiting no more I literally swept him off his feet and hugged him.

"Hey! Hey! S-stop it!" he shouted in my arms, trying to untangle himself from me, "I-I am still angry at you!"

He fought back a moment more, then he stilled and encircled his arms around my shoulders. When that happened, I let him go and started kissing every part of his face. Romano didn't complaint, just remained with his arms around me.

"I… I didn't forgive you, understand?" Romano said between kisses. "I still don't believe you. I really don't love you and I really don't know why I want you back!"

I caressed his face, run a thumb over his quivering lip and smiled brightly at him, to which Romano's blush increased tenfold.

"Damn you…!" he shouted and his lips suddenly found mine. Whatever we wanted to say in that moment died in our throats…

No kiss has ever tasted that sweet, because I knew it wasn't going to be the last. There were going to come a lot more after this one.

Romano was mine.

I was Romano's.

There was no changing that for a long, long, long time.

This is how our life together started. A life I never thought I would gain that night so long ago, when my friends and I decided to give that new nightclub a go. A life I would have given up, if I hadn't realized what the pact really wanted from me in time. My life without Romano, even if he complains and swears 24/7, would be empty.

Step by step everything returned back to normal and two months later Romano's restaurant was finally open. There had been a colossal party that day and everyone we knew came to eat what _Romano _had cooked. The tables were full, Kiku's and Feliciano's painting on the walls were admired a lot and customers started talking about the place to their friends, who told other friends, who told their friends and so on.

To cut a long story short, it was a triumph with a capital T. I even started working part-time there, just to help Romano out. Not every day of course, for I have a job of my own to do and sometimes I just want to go home and sleep. Being a waiter is hard work, but is fun, if the clients aren't total bastards… You know, it happens.

My friends too have started the life of their dreams. Almost. I wouldn't really call it that, but they are happy, so it's fine by me.

Francis, for example, is making baby steps towards a stable relationship with Arthur, which, let me tell you, came as a total shock to Gilbert and I. We thought that it was Arthur who had dumped Francis back in High School, but now it seems there is something more than meets the eye. Only Gilbert is interested in what exactly that something is, though. As far as Arthur is concerned, I don't really give a damn.

Now that we are talking about Gilbert… Well, he started officially dating… well… someone of whom I don't remember the name. It started with a… C? No, that's not it.

"Matthew! Christ, Antonio!"

Matthew. Ah, yeah. Alfred's brother. They started living together too and Ludwig is now living alone in the apartment above the bookstore they still own together. As far as I know, he is not complaining. At all. I heard he found out Gilbert was keeping a baby chick in his room and he wasn't that happy about the… well… the souvenirs on the floor. The chick is still alive, Gilbert… not so much.

Oh, yeah! I saw Elizabeta and Roderich again too! It was really a pleasant surprise to see them talking again with Gilbert! Elizabeta is so cute with that big belly of hers. Her son is so cute, I could almost eat him up! On the other hand, Roderich hasn't changed at all; he is still the same man I used to hang out with a long time ago and…

* * *

_"What the fuck are you writing every fucking evening?" _

_"Oh, you are awake?"_

_"Of course I'm awake. You keep chucking to yourself…" Romano said and took the papers from Antonio's hands. Antonio tried to get them back but Romano's glare made him slump back in his chair in defeat. Romano read some lines and then put the papers back on the desk. He noticed a pile of papers written in another's handwriting and started reading those too. _

_"Francis and Gilbert wrote them…" Antonio said. Romano twisted his lips in disgust as he read one written by Gilbert._

_"Yeah… I recognize the style…"_

_Antonio waited until Romano finally got bored and gave the sheets of paper back to Antonio, who put them all back in order. _

_"Why you are writing the story of how we got together? I-It's stupid." Romano said then._

_"No, it's not." Antonio said and smile. "It's cute, just like you. I thought it would be great to share it with the whole world too!"_

_"With the whole world?" Romano exclaimed, his eyes widening. "With the WHOLE fucking world? Are you an idiot? I don't want to be ridiculed like this!"_

_"You are not! On the contrary, people will like you! Francis is going to help me publish it!" Antonio beamed. There was a long moment of silence, then Romano sighed deeply and massaged his temples. "Maybe you should write your point of view too." Antonio's eyes sparkled, "Please, Romano! You'll make me happy!"_

_"You are always happy." Romano stated, he thought Antonio's words over and exclaimed: "No, I'm not going to write!" _

_Antonio's face fell._

_"Okay, maybe just one paragraph… Don't look at me like that! I said _maybe_!"_

_Antonio smiled again. Romano blushed and looked away. _

_"You know what?" Romano exclaimed then, "It's too early to talk about this." He went back to their bedroom, "Come." He said from the other side of the door._

_"In a moment" Antonio said, "I just need to write the last paragraph…"_

_"Christ, Antonio!"_

* * *

So, this is the story of the best period of my life. Or maybe not. I'm not really sure if it's the best of my life or just the first one of a series of best periods of my life. It's probably the second one. Either way, I probably should just rephrase what I wrote about me when I first started telling you this story of mine.

Here I go.

My name is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. My appearance? It's nothing special. Twenty-five years old, male, with messy, chestnut hair, green eyes and a special smile that I reserved to the only person I love in this world. I can be dense at times and Romano head-butts me when I'm being totally oblivious. He says it's kind of a therapy. I believe he's just being a sadist.

I have two best friends. What is special about us?

That we believe that we are very lucky, because we are hopelessly in love and know that that love is reciprocated.

That's us.

* * *

_"Are you coming or not? I can't do _this _all on my own, you know?"_

_Antonio scribbled down the last phrase and ran away to the bedroom. _

* * *

Three idiots in love. Impossible to be singles.

The end.


	34. AN

Author's notes:

I really can't believe this is over. I really can't. I loved writing in Antonio's point of view and this story really has a special place in my heart. But, to tell the truth, this fic would be nothing, without you, my fellow readers! I really want to thank you all of you for your fantastic comments, even the angry ones. I appreciated all of them. Moreover, I want to thank Ceri Siracha for the beta she did on the first chapter. Don't think I forgot you!

I'll probably write a companion fic to this story. It will be GerIta. If I'll write it, I hope to see you all there too!

I have another thing to ask of you. I have a poll going on on my profile about who of the characters in this story you found the most IC (in character). I really want to see who I managed to write best and who I need to study a little more, so you'll really help me out if you answer the poll.

I hope this story didn't offend anyone and I'm really sorry for the grammar mistakes. I know it can be hard to read sometimes when there are all this mistakes running about.

I really love you all! :D

Thank you!

_Happymood

EDIT (28.6.2012)

So I decided to close the poll and here are the results:

32% Romano

23% Spain (it's funny how they were 32 and 23, you know... same numbers, but reversed. XD *shot*)

10% Prussia (I never imagined Prussia would get to the top three! I'm so happy!)

7% Poland

6% England and France

3%America

Greece, Hungary and North Italy got 2%

Germany and Lichtenstein 1%

_Notes:_

I remind you that this fic had been translated in German too! If you want to read it in German, go on my profile page and click on the link I give you! For now the translator wants to remain anonymous, but I want to thank her again from the bottom of my heart for it!


End file.
